Unappreciated Mom of Special Needs Child

Hello, I am an Unappreciated mother.  I have a 5 1/2 year old son with Autism and a 4 year old daughter with Sensory Intergration Disorder.  Im married and an a SAHM.  My son gets tons of therapies in addition to schoola and my daughter gets therapies as well.  Its been an uphill road to get my son the services he needs especially.  Im constantly contacting the school and his therapists trying to facilitate when things are not going well.  I read all his progress notes and my daughters (family and husband do not participate in any of the process) Its been so hard this past year particarlly. (my son recently had a major setback at school) Well as you all are well aware Mother's day was sunday.  My family went on a camping trip and I took my kids (hubby had to stay home because he had to work) it was a very hard trip by myself but worth it for my kids.  When I got home sunday my dh didnt wish my a happy mothers day, not a card a gift NOTHING! I was soo hurt (I dont get ANY flowers or gifts for Valentines day either but I usually get a card and lunch and on Mothers day as well) I also came home to a huge messy house.  I havent talked to him since sunday expressing how hurt I was.  Being around my family on the camping trip didnt help considering my mom and sister were there with my dad and brother-in-law and gots lots of hugs and happy mothers day wishes and cards etc.  I felt soooooooo bad.  I do so much not only for my kids but for my husband as well.  We have a above ground pool I set up and maintain for my kids (of course DH enjoys it too) I do all the shopping and reading all the suggestions as well as the things my kids need at home to help them progress.  Im still so hurt about mothers day. Am I being childish??? I dont know, I would have at least liked to hear "happy Mothers day your doing a great job" Now Im just soooo tired.  I dont feel like doing much of anything.

Thanks for listening to me,

P.

KevnKaysmom KevnKaysmom
36-40, F
4 Responses May 15, 2007

You are shouldering an incredible load with grace and good will. Being the mother of two children with special needs can be an isolating experience. Parents of typically developing children just don't understand, especially the other parents in one's own family. You deserve an acknowledgement from your husband, on Mother's Day at least, for the amazing job you do in advocating for your children. <br />
<br />
Any mom can easily list the multitude of roles she performs. If one were fully compensated for all the tasks, it would run into the 6 figures. Now add to that the extra roles played by the mother of a child with special needs: advocate, educational consultant, legal consultant, communications expert, alternative therapies researcher,...you get the idea. I hope you have a group of supportive friends or other parents of children with special needs, or are now so motivated as to find one. <br />
<br />
From one mother of a child with special needs to another mother who is wrangling two of her own, I salute your valiant efforts!

You have every right to feel how you do. I hear ya on the mothers day thing. I got nothing from my husband instead I get told to do it differently, or why isn't this done and another list of things to do for him (because I am a SAHM I must not do anything all day and have lots of time to do things for him) He figures that because he is the only one who "WORKS" then I owe him and he is my boss. I don't understand why these men think this way, I would love to see my husband tackle even a week of my life. I have 4 kids include twins that are two. He would probably have to call his mommy for help. TYPICAL

P,<br />
Thanks for sharing. I do understand. HAPPY Mother's DAY!!! My in-laws never want to acknowledge me on Mother's Day since I'm only the Stepmother to their Grandson (Great grandson).<br />
<br />
The kids need our love and we can support each other here.<br />
--LorQuest

Hello,<br />
I took your advice and talked to him about how hurt I was and you know what he told me? He told me that he didnt have to wish me a happy mothers day because that is between me and our kids not me and him and that he asked his coworkers at work and that is what they told him. He also told me he didnt realize how "technical" mothers day is and that he didnt "follow the rules" and that he would "follow the rules next mothers day" BTW he couldnt have been more sarcastic. Im soo very tired.......... tired of trying and being a good wife and mother. I ALWAYS acknowledge Fathers day. Now that I think about it, he didnt send his mom a card for Mothers day, his excuse? Well because she doesnt acknowledge his birthday (BTW she did send him a card but didnt call) so I should figure if he is going to treat the woman who gave birth to him that way why should he treat me any different (Also, he BLAMED my family for making him look bad because thier spouses acknowledged mothers day for them on our camping trip)<br />
What to do?!?!<br />
<br />
P.