Recently, I received my results and much to my disappointment I found that I had failed the first year of 6th form, for the 2nd time.

I was admitted hospital twice this year to a psychiatric hospital and I did my exams during a psychotic episode which lasted for about a month. The risperidone I took made me feel very sedated.

Now that I've gotten my results I feel like a loser. Everyday I look in the mirror and think "Who are you?" I used to love poetry and languages, those were the things that ignited my soul!

But I have no interest in those things. My mum says there's no use in going back to school because I don't read the books I do for school.

I just can't bring myself to do anything anymore. I don't socialise, nor shower or leave the house.

Everyday is pain now, I can't stand it! I've always wanted to go to university but this won't happen now. I can't retake again, it would be too embarrassing.

Mental illness has left me a wreck and I don't see any beauty in life anymore.
Riverstream Riverstream
18-21, F
Aug 30, 2014