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God, You Failed Me!!!! I Hate You!

God failed me! A lot, ever since I was born out of wedlock. I have been faced with physical and mental abuse to the point that my mother nearly killed me with scissors in her hand. On my 15th birthday, my mother did a party on me by throwing punches to the point that I have bruises around my face. Still the most horrible were her words. I also been bullied from First Grade to High School, and I couldn't believe I didn't kill myself. Oh yeah, I did try to kill myself in 2003. To make matters worst I try to build my business and it failed. I try to go to college and I drop out. Every time that I plan something, something happens and I have to take measures, by canceling the whole thing before it gets worst. And I'm unable to have kids. I work but they reduced my hours to the point that I have to work only 8 hours a week instead of my usual 40. I been through churches to find out if god really listens to me, I talked to him like he was a friend, telling him what to do in order to help me. But I know... He does absolutely nothing. I told him he should apologize to me for all the pain and heartaches I have been through the years. Because everything that I do goes wrong, even though is for the good intentions.

I have so many hate towards god, that if he will show up I would slap him, not ask him. I'm tired of being miss independent, I'm tired of having a lot of clutter in my life, and I'm tired of being broke even if I work overtime. I want to live like anybody else, happy with prosperity and all that **** that involved with. A car, a house, a great high paid job. I did everything, work hard and all I received were crumbs. Always. I hate you god! I don't want nothing to do with you. You sunk my life. I cried for help and sunk. Thanks for nothing!!!

It feels like I have been cursed all my ******* life. Nahh, wait I have been cursed all my life thanks to you, lord!

Update:

I don't have a business anymore. It seems like I'm mourning the loss of a firstborn, even though I never had a kid. I cried, and I couldn't stop crying. I decided to take drastic measures. My depression went ballistic during those days, where all I wanted was being in the bed crying. I thought I was going to do something good with my life and prosper and be merry. But it didn't happen. Instead, I feel like a nobody, because I'm not famous even though I'm poor and broke as it is. I was wasting money rather than earning on my business, and still I didn't get a customer. I always put my trust in the "lord" for my business to grow, but it turned out He didn't want me to prosper anyway. He wants me poor, miserable and begging for mercy. What mercy? To be poor? To be miserable? To be unhappy? I don't get why the love of god for me is to make me suffer. I'm still angry and disappointed.

My husband told me, we have to reinvent on the business. Reinvent? I just wish god can reinvent himself so he can know how many people are pleading for help and rescue them before they sink in the cold waters. That's how I feel everyday. But for me it's too late now to be saved since he let me to die in the cold waters.

Update #2 March 18

I started picking up the damn pieces since then. I'm reorganizing my business and it felt like I was resuscitating someone from a long coma. I bought part of the equipment I needed using my tax return except equipment for the studio. I got into imagekind and it gave me a little bit of hope until now I got more than 2000 views, 1 comment and I got accepted to sell my pictures and postcards in a coffeehouse. The person in charge told me that I'm very gifted and talented. Until now, I have been working as usual at my regular job and trying to re-build my business. I have a lot of plans and projects but I worry about the money issue because I'm not high class, and I'm hoping my business will pick up to get a little bit better. I read comments below and I appreciated your thoughts into this issue. I'm doing my stuff in little steps.

Onigiri Onigiri 36-40, F 36 Responses Nov 29, 2010

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Thank you, Onigiri. I know it's been a few years since you wrote this post, but I so admire your raw honesty about your struggles with life and your struggles with God. Look at all the discussion you generated on both sides of the issue!

Too many times, I believe, Christians are not willing to look this issue in the face and be honest with those who suffer at the hands of evil, whatever form it comes in. I think that they're afraid that they don't know all the answers.

I am so sorry that your mother did not appreciate the GIFT that you were to her from God. I have one son, and I tell him all the time that he is my gift. Even for all your pain and disappointment, you have a tenacious spirit (which, I believe, God gave you because He knew all that you would have to deal with here on earth.) I hope that things are better now, some years later, as you continue to pick up your pieces.

I am a Christian, and I don't know all the answers to why, if God is so good, there is so much evil in the world. I do know this: Satan orchestrates evil through people and circumstances, then blames it on God. One of your responders wrote about free will. Very often when it looks like God is not intervening, He is giving evildoers a chance to repent. He is screaming to their consciences, "DON'T DO THIS!!! STOP!!!" We might think this is unfair until we realize, He gives us those same chances everyday. No, we may not all be pedophiles for example, but most of us have given in to the sin of lust, the root sin of **********, at one time or the other. He is so pure that we may not see these things on the same plane, but He does - like if I was exposed to the Ebola virus, and you have full blown symptoms, it WOULD be different degrees of the same thing, but we would probably both be quarantined.

The last thing I want to say is that I have observed this: those who choose constant anger at God, even for legitimate pain, and legitimate questions about why God allowed it, are often more angry and tormented than those who say, "Lord, I DON'T understand this, and I AM angry---YET I WILL TRUST YOU. I want to believe. 'Help my unbelief.'"

I hope that you have found peace and rest for your soul in the midst of all your pain and confusion. I hope that you continue to wrestle through the difficult questions because God loves honesty and I believe that if you continue to ask, He will give you that peace. I only hope that you can leave rage and bitterness behind, because that kind of anger does not lead in a good direction.

May the Lord be with you, and may you feel His presence, I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

i FEEL YOUR PAIN, I REALLY DO. I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN X COMMUNICATED BY EVERYONE INCLUDING THE CHURCH AND GOD. I HAD A BLESSED LIFE UNTIL I BEGAN FIGHTING FOR MY DAUGHTER, WHO SOUNDS TO BE IN YOUR POSITION AT 8 YEARS OLD...ABUSED, BORN IN WEDLOCK...THE WHOLE NINE. I DEDICATED MY LIFE TO SAVING MY DAUGHTERS FROM HER MOTHER AS I HAVE FROM THE DAY SHE WAS BORN.....IVE BECOME PARALYZED WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS 6 MONTH'S OLD. I GOT ENOUGH BACK TO BARLEY WALK. CANT WORK CANT DO MUCH OF ANYTHING. FOUGHT EVERY WAY HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO PROTECT MY DAUGHTER WHO ENDED UP GETTING INTO THE 4TH CAR ACCIDENT WITH HER DRUNK MOTHER...AS ALWAYS THEY DIDN'T EVEN CHARGE HER.... THE ONE BLESSING MY DAUGHTER HAD WAS HOW SMART SHE WAS OVER EVERY OTHER CHILD I CAME ACROSS. SHE REMEMBERED EVERYTHING. TAUGHT HER MULTIPLICATION AT 4 YEARS OLD AS WELL AS CHESS... NOW SHE CANT REMEMBER HOE TO SPELL HER MIDDLE NAME....YOUR NOT ALONE IN BELIEVING GOD DESERTED YOU OR HAS NOT BLESSED YOU. ....SOMETIMES IT SEEMS DEATH WOULD BE BETTER THEN LIFE. THE PIECE OF ---- MOTHER HAS THE WORLD AT HER FINGERS, STEALS WHAT SHE CAN NOT BUY WITH HER 6 FIGURE JOB AS I STARVE MYSELF TO FEED MY DAUGHTER........GOD IS WAITING......FOR WHAT? I WILL NOT SELL MY SOUL. I WILL KEEP PRAYING....BUT ITS EMPTY. THE FEELING HAS CHANGED IN MY LIFE AS IF MY SOUL HAS BEEN DESTROYED AND IM NOTHING BUT BREATHING FLESH......YOUR STORY DID MAKE ME AT LEAST TRY NOT TO GIVE UP... YOU KEEP FIGHTING, YOUR FIGHT HAS GIVEN ME SOME WILL TO KEEP GOING. MY ROPE IS TIED, ALL I NEED TO DO IS PUT MY HEAD IN AND FALL......YOU HAVEN'T QUIT ON YOURSELF.....THANK-YOU. YOU SAVED MY LIFE FOR AT-LEAST ONE MORE DAY.

Hey don't worry. Nothing you go through is outside God. He is eternal and no suffering can stop his love for eternity. Our life is littered with bad things. But those bad things are not from God. God allows them but only for us to seek him and change our hearts towards life. You can do that by praying and searching for him. So your security is in his grace and mercy that all sin and suffering went onto Jesus Christ and he understands everything. So respect him, learn from him and may your heart be blessed, in the name of Jesus, amen. :) God bless and keep you... do not worry as God takes care of everything. He lets it happen yes but only for us to overcome everything that gets in our way. The devil as were told wants to use your anger and hatred and situation to stop you trusting in God :)

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maybe god is protecting you from becoming rich bcoz he knows you cant withstand a lot of money u might plausibly end up sinning beoz u hav money like giving importance to money and not god prayer is your only weapon...

Dont blame God for this he loves you so much you are.ju too blind to see God is probably not giving you what you want because your not trusting him fully and you doubt dont doubt just trust him fully I did and he helped me through a bunch of things and stop calling him cuss words that's not gonna help you. Jesus died on the cross when you were the one who was supposed to be crucified so don't tell me he doesnt love you because he gave up his own life for you when he did nothing wrong you did and just to remind you satan also exists too he's the one who does the horrible stuff to this world not God

It pains me how the world is so broken one day you guys will stand before the Lord God Almighty and you will be judged and based on what you guys are saying you guys will be rotting in hell for eternity

Kianneflores - you need to keep silent my friend. I have never heard such heartless, judgmental words from a fellow believer. You sound very young... or young in the Lord. I would recommend studying the life of Christ and how he came to those hurting and wounded. Your words are inflicting more pain and affirming what this young lady already believes.

You have not suffered... that much is clear. Not to extent of those who have had long term abuse (physical, mental) by those who were suppose to love and cherish them. My advise... hold your tongue until you can speak words of encouragement and healing.

You are such a Jackass. Not a Christian, but God doesn't support or encourage every person on the Earth, so while you sit there with your smug and (frankly in the scheme of thing, unimportant) opinion, there are a few Noahs out there who would communicate with God, because they deserve it. When the rains come, you will be sooo uncertain of why you were left to be drowned, but it would be obvious to God and the 'Noah'

read the book of Job in the Old Testament

This is a very old post, but I'm going to respond to it anyway in the event that someone stumbles upon it like I did. I don't have any answers as to why God allows bad things to happen except that part of it has to do with free will. If your pain has been caused by a choice someone else has made, it's because of free will, and God will never take that away from us. If your childhood was bad, you still had the free will to make choices in your life so that you could live successfully as an adult. If you dropped out of school and are living paycheck by paycheck to survive, that's not God fault....you are living the consequences of your free will to choose and have no one but yourself to blame for that. I had a lot of crappy things happen to me as a kid, and I made crappy decisions as an adult as a result of it and I blame ME for that, not God. So why did he "allow" these things to happen to me? I don't know, but when I'm dead and standing before him, I'm planning on asking him that and I know when he gives me the answer, it's all going to make sense. Don't give up on God. He does throw blessings your way when you least expect it, but he's not going to do it if you're throwing your fist in the air and screaming you hate him. If you're not going to give him the benefit of the doubt, why should he do anything for you? I believe in the bible it even says if you deny him, he will deny you. FYI....I'm not a holy roller, I don't commune with a cult, and my religious experience is limited to a few days a week when I'm at my mothers house which is filled with a love for the Lord. I've never blamed God for my misfortunes but I've certainly asked him "why" enough times. I believe there is a reason why I am here, whether to help out in a big way or a small one, and regardless of the tragic experiences of my life, I don't let them dictate how I live my life today. My life is far from perfect, actually it's pretty sucky on a day to day basis, but every day that I wake up it's a new day, and I'm glad for the breath in my lungs.

read the book of Job in the the Old Testament.

Iramossaaa8 - So if you come into devastation circumstances in your life where someone who is suppose to love you and cherish you literally destroys you to the point where everything you thought you believed goes up in smoke. Emotional turmoil and pain ... you are drowning. Drowning and are at the end of your rope... no where to turn. Looking for answers in your pain...

And someone chucks at you "read the book of Job in the Old Testament".

This is not how Jesus said we are to reach out and love and care for those who are hurt and seeking. You need to take a step back and pray.

I am encouraging you, as a sister in Christ, to pray about your heart here. Take this as a gentle exhortation. Iron sharpens iron....

What you say I'd very true step back and pray..however chuck the book of job total man is the only way in this world to understand how a god that loves us allows bad or unfortunate things happen to his children... Job didn't just happen because and just so happened to make the team in the bible god was at work in yours mine and her life way back then and knew that trew job we will know that all bad is for good reason... I must say read job and realize it could be worse

Don't beg, whatever you do don't beg. Praying and begging will never help you, you cant just let how you feel rule you either. You need to think logical, and explore your life.

**** god he is pure evil just look at this world all this suffering for his so called plan?if he can stand by this much suffering just imagine how much lvoe he has for people he is truly selfish and when he claims he loves someone its a selfish love i rebuke his plans and say **** THE HOLY SPIRIT he is the most sadistic ***** who sits on his *** all day recieving lame *** praises while ppl suffer he is a coward and a egoistical narcissistic piece of crap his praises are a joke hope he remembers every praise he gets that its all tainted with the suffering of this world

read the book of Job in the Old testament. That is God not god.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that p1sses me off.” ― Stephen King, Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay

man i get so ******* upset when i hear about people suffering. it really does make me sick to my brain and my stomach. it just doesn't make sense to me. if GOD is supposed to be perfect, then why the **** does he let all this god damned suffering happen. If he was 10000 percent perfect then WHY THE **** cant there be an easier way to obtain happiness? why couldn't he have reset the neurons, dopamine/serotonin levels, and every other cell that makes us who we are?! Why couldn't he find a way to make us all happy 100% of the time?! hes supposed to be ******* GOD right?! and for those who use the stupid excuse oh hes working behind the scenes and allowing tragedies to happen to benefit you "in the long run" ok. so what about all the nice young children/adults who ******* kill themselves because their life sucks so much. what about them?!

and what about the religious gays who cant live their own god damned mother ******* life in peace because they have, in the back of their minds every waking moment of everyday, the idea that they will burn in hell for something that they cant really control. or what about the nice, innocent, warm hearted, loving folks out in other parts of the country (or even in the US), who grew up in a perhaps muslim, Judaism, or atheist household for 20 years and who simply cant believe even if they tried (like me...because TRUST me, ive tried... oh boy have i tried. i just simply cant believe.) and compare them to those who have it 1000 times easier and perhaps grew up in strongly routed Christian families. so those nice, caring, and loving atheist burn in hell?! is that fair? fellow Christians, is that really what god does?! **** him then if that's really how things work. don't wanna be a part of his empire then anyway.

So let me get this straight. a person who has been a ***** their ENTIRE life... killed... robbed... selfish greedy heartless violent ****** were talking here. and as long as they believe in GOD by the time they die as well as apologize and beg for forgivness for their sins, they go to heaven. vice versa that, though (imagine a saint... made thousands in donations to less fortunate, lived life with love and affection to all, etc. ... but they just didn't believe.. they burn in hell?!?!? r u ******* kidding me?!?!?

it just seems like often times people use religion as a cover up to help them get through this horrible life we live in. i was thinking of going into psychology maybe (that is...if i make it through this crappy life without killing myself). and this seems to be psychology 101. people are so scared of death and even life itself that they use heaven as a crutch for dealing with the fact that we die and nothing ******* happens. OR life is too hard to deal with in itself for them (which is understandable... life sucks), so they like the feeling of knowing someone else is there to essentially protect them.

My father was an atheist and i HATED that he would babble on about how gods not real. and i never talk about these things with my friends cuz id never want to convert them even the slightest if they did have faith. but im kinda at the end of my rope man. i simply am losing the will to care.... i hate life and, if there is a god, i hate him as well. anyway whoever read this thanks for reading. sorry to babble for so long. and sorry for all the swearing... just angry with life lol (and god...if there is one...which doesn't seem like there is)

I absolutely hate God. !! I was bullied in school to the point i dropped out in 11th grade,my ex fiancee broke my nose,threw me out of the car,choked me till i passed out and threw me down the stairs. Then my first husband stole from me to buy drugs,wouldnt work,tried to force me to get abortions with both our kids,hit me,cheated on me then walked out. I remarried,was with him 13 years, he treated ne just as bad and then got all religous and left me for some c... he met at church,i lost my job of six years,cant find one lost my house,my mother is verbally abusive, my best friend stabbed me in the back and im all alone and broke. But this son of a b.... supposedly loves me ? Id hate to see how hed treat me if he hated me !!! And because i choose not to thank him for my crying myself to sleep every night hes sending me to hell ...well whatever. Hes the one who can go to hell for all i care.

read the book of Job in the Old Testament. that is God not god.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that p1sses me off ― Stephen King, Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay

I feel your pain and have nothing but hate and anger towards god......I wish you much success, happiness, and fullfillment .....inspite of the Great Tormentor

I can imagine how being abused creates a mental block for people who go through it.Hate, guilt, resentment.But for **** sakes.You should hate the people who do those things to you!It's their choice to be who and what they are.We aren't puppets on a string obeying every command of God.So why hold him responsible for the ****** up choices your parents or whoever made?...You can't blame a father for the sins of his children...For he cannot control him.Same with us and God.

You want a feel good reply or honest one?

If u hate ur life, but if u love god. Soon he will give u somethig really amazing, maybe u will be very rich, maybe you will go heaven if ur action are bad, not killing!. Do you know what i love god, now i Am rich

i know how you feel, god allowed me to be abused 15 yrs sexualy,physical,mentaly, why i hate god, grew up in a cult religion in texas ,ran at 16 never look back, i don't do church, i lost the love of my life 7 yrs ago,i blame him i was happy, my best friend was killed ,i blame him, my daughter i raised by my self last 7 yrs, shes has tryed cucide often, in and out hospital,shes all i got, cayse i chose not to be abused by god or his belives, im a peramedic/emt most my life feel i do to help those god don't i lost my belives i feel if you belive inyourself thats makes you better ,if you dying don't waste your time praying, look inside yopur self find strength save your self,i work 4o hrs a week for me and my kid, she needs me thats what keeps me going, i didn't know my ex girl friend druged/abused my daughter why i was out of town working every week, now its just me and my kid, i trust no one, i love no one i belive in no one, my kids my life ,so thats why im still going on, for her, she does,t see the pain im in, no one does i hide it well, but i drinjk myselt to sleep every night, last 3 yrs since my kid has been having issues, im a man was told men arte strong, don;t cry, **** that shil i cry every night and every day inside,if i lose my kid i then lose my will to live, but i live my life as i want not by a book(bible) i hate men and now women trust no one, so single dad is my title, since i don.t ask god for anything, feel i don't owe him sorry words misspelled so pissed at hin , cause now my child is affected bny this relious ****, she chose not to be controled by christians ways also, i figer only have one life to live, so i do my dam best to make it me and my kids best,. so i say ,best wishes and if god hates you, hate him back, it works for me !

wow you are a paramedic/EMT. i suggest the book of Job in the Old Testament. that is God not god. I feel you're pain when you say you can't trust anyone. The alcohol wont make it better. Maybe you two need to work something out like go out and walk the dog.

i do not believe in god i do not believe a jesus died for our sins i believe that we are responsible for our own actions. i believe the bible is misleading and bullshit lol..

You pathetic fool. You think, you're greater than God, telling him what to do, telling him he should apologise . Get some wisdom first lady .

don't you judge her,and what should she say to god....you sound like one of the "god fearing people" rather than "god loving" people...you would know if u haddd been on her place.she told what she feels,in today's world or any other world,people needs proof,if she said she feels like god hates her,she said because she went through all that.and for her to feel god doesn't hate her(I know he doesn't),she needs a proof.you have wisdom?why don't you give her some?

As a child I had to endure seeing my mother getting beat to a pulp by her boyfriends , From what I can gather she was having sex at a young age ,my grandparents weren't much help ,in her guidance. Being a teen in the 70's this era still had that phase of sex drugs and rock n roll
I love my mom don't get me wrong but I remember seeing and hearing different men screwing her. She loved the night life especially the beer drinking as time went on things sort of slowed down ,then the 80's hit I have more background on her being married but that in itself is a tragic story ,it involves her husband at the time, killing someone. Moving on she found a man named Ishmael he seemed okay I remember him being a jerk of sorts he gave my mom two more kids my sister & brother. Ishmael after at least 2 years he ended up killing himself some think he was murdered. My mom went insane she needed to be in as many cans of beer's as possible she at the time neglected us her children I remember she would leave for days and we would be starving if it wasn't for help from our neighbors who knows what could have happened. Starvation is painful guys imagine living children skeletons.It hurts to think of those times and even when my mom would come back things weren't that much different .Then the cruel years began it's still the 80's but now my mom found a man named Dimas ,this guy was a cruel son of a ***** meanest man that still haunts me ,he would hit my mom so hard she just wanted to pass out he wouldn't let her fall , he once kicked me right in the ******* so hard i was paralyzed for a minute.he hung my brother in a closet with a water hose in a way that it wouldn't kill him but it was still "I had to stop typing I'm starting to cry" okay going back it,- was around my brothers neck I would sneak in that closet and release my brother ,I would take the chance of something horrible happening to me. Okay no more about my past this **** is just the tip of the iceberg i'd like to move on in my adult years. Yea I went to church. I was told Jesus loves me yes he does,I was shown some kindness from church members but it only happened on Sunday's and Wednesdays. One man in particular was the kindest christian I've ever met but he didn't stay that way always.He became distant and I know longer knew him I don't talk with him anymore.I have a wife and 5 children 3 are biological. I have depression and an anxiety disorder. My wife can't work much due to scoliosis. I have a teenage daughter which can be a total nightmare , I love her but she is a pain in the ***.My sons are cool there just boys I hold them and comfort them and never allow them to be sad for long I'm happy they didn't experience the **** I went through and there not going to I yell but what dad doesn't. I try and make ends meet, I live in a town were the oilfield is booming and there is so much money to be made I'm trying to get in on that but that's getting hard to do seems you have to know someone .Even with all the high stacks of bills and me getting sick and the current **** job that I have ,I think of God I think about all the ways he could have made it easier on me ,where is my **** en break GOD I went through hell as a kid and now its different **** ,as an adult ?!.He does listen folks but as far as helping which he said he would do ,hasn't happened !!.I have lived in misery for a long **** en time I have learned about the evil **** that goes on all around the place .I know about the evil **** that can happen to you or your kids you think crying and begging will help I've tried it ,that does not work .I've complained countless times ,the only one I hear is myself. Where is God ?! I have seen evil *** people prosper like a son of a ***** .Where is God ?! I've asked too many time's. I had a screwed up child hood and now a screwed up adult hood . Now that I see what I see maybe I'm knocking on the wrong door for help maybe God has a big ****'en sign that says (DO NOT DISTURB GO AWAY).All I know is I'm stuck and i'm so sick of worrying if he isn't going to help me maybe I should quit believing in him. Maybe I'm a fool for thinking he would save my *** for the sake of my family. Now to think about it he didn't help me when I was a kid why should he help me as an adult?.
Folks God has his favorites he knows its wrong,but hey he's God what can you do about it.

There probably is no God, so don't worry about it, and enjoy life.

I am in a depressing phase in my life, I have a lot of problems, there is a God. And I know he still loves me.

i hate that ****** scumbag for putting me on this rotten so good earth to begin with, and i did not ask to be born either. all i ever wanted for a straight man like me was to meet the right woman, instead of the filthy ***** that i married. and had i really known that she was trash to begin with, i would have never married that pig. now single and alone again sucks so very much for me, thinking that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her and have a family too. going out is very difficult for me, since i seem to meet so many low life loser women now that have an attitude problem, and are very difficult to start a normal conversation with. i never realized that GOD created so much garbage like them in the first place, and this is hurting us innocent good men that are seriously looking to meet a good woman and have a relationship again. i certainly can't blame myself for GOD'S very big mistake, that is for sure. women have become so damn rotten today, and they are nothing like the women that we had years ago when they accepted the man who who he was, and he did not have to make a lot of money to be accepted. it is bad enough that i have to go to work , and then coming home to an empty house with nobody there just makes it worse for me. when i see so many very lucky men and women that were very fortunate to have met one another and have a family, they should go to church to pray too GOD, and thank him very much for having a life that i would have certainly wanted. it is so very amazing how GOD works for some people, and not us. what makes certain people so damn special, and not me? i am so different than they are, and i certainly want a life just as much as they have one. i can see why i hate GOD so much, and i really can't blame myself for being so very bitter too. and now that there are so many LESBIANS TODAY, and that certainly adds to the problem. women are much more into other women nowadays, and if i have to compete with these pigs just to find a real good woman, boy that just makes it even worse for me.

Sometimes god puts obstacles in the way but it sounds like you're making many of your problems all by yourself. Not all women are the same. Some therapy might be in order.

God is an *******. I just hate him!!!

You are so right!!!there is no ******* word like God and its a super lie..God give miseries to good people and just happiness to bad people...I hate you and just hate you God!!!

The greatest people in life are the ones who struggle...All the great Icons in this world went through some form of struggle but in the end there reward was greater than the struggle. Sometimes he uses you as an instrument so you can help someone else, What you went through was horrible, unfortunate and unfair no one should have to go through what you went through. But there are so many girls or guys who are living your past today, and you can be that person to help them through it, because nobody knows what it feels like more than someone who has actually gone through it. You know the pain , you can use that pain and anger in a way which can help others, ..You can be that voice for them....Keep trying and keep shining....God loves you... You are still here despite what they have done to you...which can only mean one thing ..you are strong and not easily defeated...God is preparing you for something great....just watch.....Anger is easy...faith and patience is hard.

I know how you feel. I feel like God has failed me too.

It is not God or Goddesses fault. But we feel for you. Hang in there and keep building character. You will see that things will get better for you soon! Please try not to have vindictive thoughts towards us. Your thought really happens, so keep them safe!
E the yura! -
Christ and Megan Black

I lost my grandson in June a week later my son had a rollover and lifeflight had to come the I lost a second family member to cancer that next week then my other daughter had a rollover and was transported to the ER and during this time wee were evacuated from our home several times because of the wild fires and we finally lost our home and our home ba<x>sed business too. We are homeless and I thank God that he has been there for us through prayer. God does not make things happen to you nor is the devil allowed to make things happen to you. We can be tempted by Satan and we can listen for the spirit of direction in our lives. I love God for making these catastrophies bearable. And as Satan tempts the spirit is there also letting me know I can CHOOSE BY MY OWN WILL what I will have happen in my life. God loves us so much he wants us to be I dependent and will stand back and allow us to be in control of our own lives through the power of prayer. I hope you will give Him another chance and with a quiet heart, listen... He will be the only footprints you see in the sand as he carries you through the trials of life... if... you'll let Him... May He bless us all. I love you God...

I totally agree that there is no point in believing in such a god that remains indifferent to your suffering, who stays high up there in his comfort kingdom. The thing is I have found one who lives just like you and me, who knows the struggles of life, who is constantly unjustly condemned by the systems which keep human society in order, who goes through uncertainty with me, who has given you and me the strength to defile such enslaving and destructive greed and selfishness. He has been my friend and I hope you will find him too.

Seriously? I spent a lot of heartaches in my life and all you people are doing is insulting and calling me names? Before you judge me, or criticize negatively at me for that matter, think before you post stuff in here. Otherwise, better to keep your mouth shut than spewing immature comments like these.

Exactly!! What is it about Christianity that makes people act so friggin' crazy?! No wonder people don't respect that religion. That's why I'm *glad* I'm an agnostic.

I'm in the same struggle with you. You're not alone.

**** god he's is an shiiit head. he loves ******** and sucks ****. i hate god i despise god **** god he is a lying sack of dog shiit. **** god i hate god

there is no need 2 curse. this talk is 4 mature people. so you talk about how you feel God has failed you but you don't curse especially to God. u need 2 think about the dangers you put others in when you speak of God this way not just yourself & so if I'm in trouble when you speak of God this way how much more would I & others hate you than what you hate God.