God, You Failed Me!!!! I Hate You!

God failed me! A lot, ever since I was born out of wedlock. I have been faced with physical and mental abuse to the point that my mother nearly killed me with scissors in her hand. On my 15th birthday, my mother did a party on me by throwing punches to the point that I have bruises around my face. Still the most horrible were her words. I also been bullied from First Grade to High School, and I couldn't believe I didn't kill myself. Oh yeah, I did try to kill myself in 2003. To make matters worst I try to build my business and it failed. I try to go to college and I drop out. Every time that I plan something, something happens and I have to take measures, by canceling the whole thing before it gets worst. And I'm unable to have kids. I work but they reduced my hours to the point that I have to work only 8 hours a week instead of my usual 40. I been through churches to find out if god really listens to me, I talked to him like he was a friend, telling him what to do in order to help me. But I know... He does absolutely nothing. I told him he should apologize to me for all the pain and heartaches I have been through the years. Because everything that I do goes wrong, even though is for the good intentions.

I have so many hate towards god, that if he will show up I would slap him, not ask him. I'm tired of being miss independent, I'm tired of having a lot of clutter in my life, and I'm tired of being broke even if I work overtime. I want to live like anybody else, happy with prosperity and all that **** that involved with. A car, a house, a great high paid job. I did everything, work hard and all I received were crumbs. Always. I hate you god! I don't want nothing to do with you. You sunk my life. I cried for help and sunk. Thanks for nothing!!!

It feels like I have been cursed all my ******* life. Nahh, wait I have been cursed all my life thanks to you, lord!


I don't have a business anymore. It seems like I'm mourning the loss of a firstborn, even though I never had a kid. I cried, and I couldn't stop crying. I decided to take drastic measures. My depression went ballistic during those days, where all I wanted was being in the bed crying. I thought I was going to do something good with my life and prosper and be merry. But it didn't happen. Instead, I feel like a nobody, because I'm not famous even though I'm poor and broke as it is. I was wasting money rather than earning on my business, and still I didn't get a customer. I always put my trust in the "lord" for my business to grow, but it turned out He didn't want me to prosper anyway. He wants me poor, miserable and begging for mercy. What mercy? To be poor? To be miserable? To be unhappy? I don't get why the love of god for me is to make me suffer. I'm still angry and disappointed.

My husband told me, we have to reinvent on the business. Reinvent? I just wish god can reinvent himself so he can know how many people are pleading for help and rescue them before they sink in the cold waters. That's how I feel everyday. But for me it's too late now to be saved since he let me to die in the cold waters.

Update #2 March 18

I started picking up the damn pieces since then. I'm reorganizing my business and it felt like I was resuscitating someone from a long coma. I bought part of the equipment I needed using my tax return except equipment for the studio. I got into imagekind and it gave me a little bit of hope until now I got more than 2000 views, 1 comment and I got accepted to sell my pictures and postcards in a coffeehouse. The person in charge told me that I'm very gifted and talented. Until now, I have been working as usual at my regular job and trying to re-build my business. I have a lot of plans and projects but I worry about the money issue because I'm not high class, and I'm hoping my business will pick up to get a little bit better. I read comments below and I appreciated your thoughts into this issue. I'm doing my stuff in little steps.

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43 Responses Nov 29, 2010

I hope everything is working out for you. You, Me, We all deserve love and our prayers being answered.I am in a place where I hate Jesus and God. I have asked and prayed for either my boyrienf or someone better to come into my life and nothing has changed. I have asked for friends and support in my time or need and nothing. I have asked for God, Jesus, the divine to take the lead and bring me out of suffering and nothing. I am at the point where I dont want to follow, love, trust or turn to God and Jesus anymore, because they have left me powerless, taken away my love for others, closed my heart to HIM and have left me powerless, worn out, tired and in a position where I just want life to be over.I dont want to follow a God who says he loves us, but leaves us in pain and suffering even though he has the power to change it, yet accepts us without the power, resources, money or ability to help others in need even though we cant help ourselves. Its saddening and heart breaking and unfortionately, nothing that I can change without god and Jesus, but here I am, after years, still waiting for even a breadcrumb. If I was god and had the power, I would give you all everything you need, no questions asked, because I know that we all need and deserve help, love, kindness, compassion and a God that hears and shows he cares.

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Maybe God just doesn't exist !

I hate u god because u made my life horrible I was about to GO to my godmother and then my step grandad which i hate because he gets on my nerve i hate him ! Then he said " did u tell ur godmother that u got a F and I said KNOW and then he said i am going to tell her then i went to the kitchen pray to god & I said " Please let him forget like 18 times but he did just ignore me and then before he told her it started raining and then my sweet and ALWAYS WAYS ON HIS SIDE came in the office in the house (which is a trailer) and I said I wish it was not raining and my grandma said yo godmother saaid something like a she is get some food to bring to terria and then she said u know BIG POPS sold her u got A F and then my grandma said that my Godma said maybe I need to stay home and she might get me next weekend I CAN"T SAND MY REAL REAL GRANDPA THAT IS WHY I AM NOT STAYING IN THEIR TRAILER AND THEY R NOT ADOPTING ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND DAMN HE MAKES ME SICK HE DAMN HAS AND I CAN'T UNTIL HE DIES MOTHERFUCHER

God do exist ,he just give us test that he know we are strong to pass if we have faith . I have been through a lot too not like hers but it hurt so much that I wanted to join witchcraft for survival . OK as kid i never knew my dad .lived with my mom with extra 3 kids to take care of .so one day after eating some food that someone (was suppose to be my mom friend) and we all feel sick a once .a deadly disease that was plan for all of us .we all got sick when to the hospital and they said two of us is going to die cause there is no way we could survive .so my mom was with us all night with a help of my uncle. So as my mom started praying ,God didn't answer us right away but it wasn't long before he answered our prayers me and my other sister was released from the hospital but one was still there who they said will not make it but will die .so she couldn't talk open her eyes so she was basically in coma but my mom prayed and prayed till one day my sister said mom can you please get me some food and her eyes opened.my mom prayers was still strong till they said they don't know what happens but she is out of danger and will be recharged soon .SO. Basically AM SAYING THAT PRAYERS ARE HEARD .DON'T HAPPEN AFTER ONE PRAYER BUT SEVERAL AND IT COME TRUE IF YOU BELUVE IN HIM AND HIS WORDS

Test huh, then he must play favorites. Or you're just a very lucky guy

Wow, reading your blog felt like it was coming from me! I too have been through hell!!! I got pregnant at a very early age. Went through a history of depression but I thought if I was a good person, and worked hard that I would break the vicious circle of my family's history of being broke and having nothing!! So I got a student loan, graduated college with a medical assistant degree and was so hopeful that my life would change.....It did not. Nowhere would hire me because education inst enough, they all want a couple years of experience. How am I supposed to get experience if nobody will hire me because I have no experience!!?? Its now been 2 years since graduation, im a single mom of 3 kids, unemployed living on welfare to pay rent while I volunteer at a hospital and animal rescue for experience to get the job i need!! My mom isn't doing well with her health, I need oral surgery I cant afford and a job most importantly. Im just tired!! Why cant I have a life like everyone else? Dont want to be rich, a car that drives, food in my fridge and bills caught up is all i need....cant even have that!! I feel your pain!! I wish you all the luck in the world and hope things change for you.

I can't feel anymore inside and never got to let it out before that. That's the gift I got Lots of opportunities which came with terror. Great, huh?

I hear you!!! I have worshiped, trusted, and followed god my entire life. My husband and I have struggled to stay a float and we finally we're blessed with our own home with 3 acres last year. We're buying it on contract and I'm happy with our home and property but we got it to start a family. My husband and I both read the bible daily and we put our lives in his hands. 2 years later nothing! No baby. This last month was the last straw. All I've ever wanted is children, exspecially a daughter as My job is teaching children and adults how to ride horse back! God put this desire in my heart, so if he's not going to answer it why put it there geesh!!! I swore I was pregnant this month as 7 days went by and my breast always get soar before I start my af. Sorry to much info. Any how I got excited! I thought this is it! Sure enough 8th day aunt flow arrives. We don't have money for infertility treatment and my ob said I have very regular 30 day cycles and she said it probably your husbands ***** count, but we can't afford to pay to have it tested. If I'm never going to be but middle class poverty line I'd like to enjoy my own children. My mom had 7. My sister 5. Me 1 boy whos now 4 and yearning for a baby sister. He's so lonely and asks why he doesn't have siblings weekly as all his friends do. Why does god bless teens and drug addicts with children but not mothers who would do anything for their children. Having children is supposed to be natural and the reason god put us here. Sorry I don't want to adopt because I want the whole experience and there's no love like the love of your own child. Even with my son he was 5 weeks early and I never experienced labor. We went thro 4 miscarriages before finally holding him to 36 weeks. He has a small speech delay so I take him every where. To pre-preschool and speech therapy. I run every where for him and love him dearly and he's great just lonely. Why is he so cruel to the people who truly love him and follow him? Why does he bless the wicked who do not deserve children? My husbands x wife had 5 children while on meth thro every pregnancy!!! 2 girls and 3 boys. I would do anything to have such a family and she cares nothing for her children. She is a horrible human being, but god insist she desreved them and I don't! Why? I am a wonderful, caring mother and person. I know I'm a truly sweet women who has given my lord everything. I am who I am. I'm a nice, sweet, intelligent, hard working women. God blessed me with an understanding of horses so I followed it and have spent 20 years going to college and working at 16 different stables. Now its my time to enjoy having a family. I want to be pregnant and I hate women who say ugh just get it out already. What incosiderrate *******!!! It's a blessing and a miracle to carry a child in your womb. Why does god torment me so. Every time I go see my family I have to step outside because it's to hard to be around children and pregnant women. I avoid them to avoid the pain. Maybe if we just tell god we need him to answer our prayers and until he does we will not follow, pray, or trust. I don't know what to do anymore. I know I've given up.

i no how you feel im the same way i hate god he has done nothing for me in life i have alway worked hard all of my life and all i get is crumbs i have prayed over and over and never got anything out of it all he cares about is the rich people of this world

Actually you wrong God don't just care about rich people he care about his believers those who gave faith in him and trust him .Don't just pray believe in his words as that is what he used yo create you.WORDS ARE POWERFULL SO SAY THOSE PRAYERS LIKE YOU MEAN TALK TO HIM LIKE HE IS YOUR ONLY FRIEND CAUSE HE IS AND TRUST ME YOU WONT BE disappointed in him

I understand how you feel. I'm so sorry for everything you have been through.

I have definitely felt several of the same emotions you feel or felt about God . It hurts to feel constantly abandoned by your creator. It's hard to grasp psychologically . If you can't rely on him than who? It's really a dark place. Life is terrible for so many you would think he would help us.Thats not the case though. Good Luck to anyone just trying to live life and be fulfilled and really happy.

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Dear ongiri ,what you wrote was amazing. You my not realize it , but your not the only person going through a series of bad events. But , your one of the few willing to write about it. I myself have also gone through a lot, and so has many others that have read this blog. Weather you realize this or not (and I hope this puts a smile on your face) you have help so many people know that their not alone. You asked where is god well I'm here to say. I'm right here ,you are very strong and extremely intelligent. If your small business were to make it you would only have reached a few hundred. I MADE YOU TO REACH MILLIONS. It hurt I know but I built you like a tank. Notice you're still moving. I am proud of you

Love, Me

That happened to me too. After all the times I trusted God with my LIFE! He didn't do anything! My friends say its for a reason and I understand that but until he does nothing though to all my prayers to him...he doesn't do anything! Like my experience: I was chatting with my friends on Facebook then suddenly it expired! ALL THE TIME! This doesn't happen to anyone! I kept weeping in bed...I didn't want to wake up. I was regretting all the prayers when I said the word "TRUST". Until now. I mean like I don't hate him! It's just! He failed me! He didn't do anything! Like before even though he failed me...I still believed in him, i tried to be happy! And yet, he does nothing...

maybe god wants us to turn to him and praise him despite what we may be going through. you may have prayed and sought help but you didnt fully trust him. otherwise you wouldnt have been mad. you would have recognized that gods in control and he wants nothing but the best for you. and even though you may be struggling, it doesnt mean god did it to you to hurt you. maybe hes testing you, maybe he wants you to grow? god can never fail a person. its you who failed him.

How can you fail God? Its not like you get direct communication from God to know what exactly it is he expects you to do.

Now this is EXACTLY the BS that many people hate. Sing praises, worship, blah,blah, blah, bllah...all those politically correct sheeple canned answer.
Did it ever occur to you when so many things in your way you're just so emotionally, mentally and spiritually drain that praising seemed even more FAKE? Many a times we ALREADY know what must be done, but HOW/having even the energy to engage in it....that is the issue. I bet you've never felt the fakeness of praising and worshiping when you're so drained-up. Gosh, I hate ignoramus like you, and in fact, many a times is types like you that drive further to deepen the wounds.
Live a decade longer or so b4 'advising' others whose shoes you've not filled.

No ,I know how you feel but trust me he never leave our site if we see the sun rise in morning. PRAYERS ARE NOT WORDS BUT IT IS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN ONLY YOU AND GOD

you didn't fully trust him?? It's you who failed him??? These statements (and your attitude) are very cold and unloving. David questioned God on many occasions and God was/is OK about that. Are you suggesting that a person who "fully trust him" will not be disappointed nor hurt? Have you read the book Disappointed with God by P Yancy? The Apostle Paul felt pain that he was locked up in prison but he trusted God. Although God is in control, is it wrong for a parent to grieve over the death of his/her child? Christ himself felt pain; it is part of living in a fallen world.

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Thank you, Onigiri. I know it's been a few years since you wrote this post, but I so admire your raw honesty about your struggles with life and your struggles with God. Look at all the discussion you generated on both sides of the issue!

Too many times, I believe, Christians are not willing to look this issue in the face and be honest with those who suffer at the hands of evil, whatever form it comes in. I think that they're afraid that they don't know all the answers.

I am so sorry that your mother did not appreciate the GIFT that you were to her from God. I have one son, and I tell him all the time that he is my gift. Even for all your pain and disappointment, you have a tenacious spirit (which, I believe, God gave you because He knew all that you would have to deal with here on earth.) I hope that things are better now, some years later, as you continue to pick up your pieces.

I am a Christian, and I don't know all the answers to why, if God is so good, there is so much evil in the world. I do know this: Satan orchestrates evil through people and circumstances, then blames it on God. One of your responders wrote about free will. Very often when it looks like God is not intervening, He is giving evildoers a chance to repent. He is screaming to their consciences, "DON'T DO THIS!!! STOP!!!" We might think this is unfair until we realize, He gives us those same chances everyday. No, we may not all be pedophiles for example, but most of us have given in to the sin of lust, the root sin of **********, at one time or the other. He is so pure that we may not see these things on the same plane, but He does - like if I was exposed to the Ebola virus, and you have full blown symptoms, it WOULD be different degrees of the same thing, but we would probably both be quarantined.

The last thing I want to say is that I have observed this: those who choose constant anger at God, even for legitimate pain, and legitimate questions about why God allowed it, are often more angry and tormented than those who say, "Lord, I DON'T understand this, and I AM angry---YET I WILL TRUST YOU. I want to believe. 'Help my unbelief.'"

I hope that you have found peace and rest for your soul in the midst of all your pain and confusion. I hope that you continue to wrestle through the difficult questions because God loves honesty and I believe that if you continue to ask, He will give you that peace. I only hope that you can leave rage and bitterness behind, because that kind of anger does not lead in a good direction.

May the Lord be with you, and may you feel His presence, I pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.


Hey don't worry. Nothing you go through is outside God. He is eternal and no suffering can stop his love for eternity. Our life is littered with bad things. But those bad things are not from God. God allows them but only for us to seek him and change our hearts towards life. You can do that by praying and searching for him. So your security is in his grace and mercy that all sin and suffering went onto Jesus Christ and he understands everything. So respect him, learn from him and may your heart be blessed, in the name of Jesus, amen. :) God bless and keep you... do not worry as God takes care of everything. He lets it happen yes but only for us to overcome everything that gets in our way. The devil as were told wants to use your anger and hatred and situation to stop you trusting in God :)


maybe god is protecting you from becoming rich bcoz he knows you cant withstand a lot of money u might plausibly end up sinning beoz u hav money like giving importance to money and not god prayer is your only weapon...

Rubbish and crap. To the hell with God.

Dont blame God for this he loves you so much you are.ju too blind to see God is probably not giving you what you want because your not trusting him fully and you doubt dont doubt just trust him fully I did and he helped me through a bunch of things and stop calling him cuss words that's not gonna help you. Jesus died on the cross when you were the one who was supposed to be crucified so don't tell me he doesnt love you because he gave up his own life for you when he did nothing wrong you did and just to remind you satan also exists too he's the one who does the horrible stuff to this world not God

It pains me how the world is so broken one day you guys will stand before the Lord God Almighty and you will be judged and based on what you guys are saying you guys will be rotting in hell for eternity

Kianneflores - you need to keep silent my friend. I have never heard such heartless, judgmental words from a fellow believer. You sound very young... or young in the Lord. I would recommend studying the life of Christ and how he came to those hurting and wounded. Your words are inflicting more pain and affirming what this young lady already believes.

You have not suffered... that much is clear. Not to extent of those who have had long term abuse (physical, mental) by those who were suppose to love and cherish them. My advise... hold your tongue until you can speak words of encouragement and healing.

You are such a Jackass. Not a Christian, but God doesn't support or encourage every person on the Earth, so while you sit there with your smug and (frankly in the scheme of thing, unimportant) opinion, there are a few Noahs out there who would communicate with God, because they deserve it. When the rains come, you will be sooo uncertain of why you were left to be drowned, but it would be obvious to God and the 'Noah'

isnt it a sin to judge other people? is it not a sin to say whether or not we're going to heaven? you dont get to judged other people, you arent god. you dont decide who's going to heaven. and the way you act or what you say doesnt determine whether you go to heaven. otherwise, we'd all be in hell... yes, thats including you. its called sin. its in our nature. and as im sure you already know, gods very forgiving. so if these people bash on god then thats fine. god will forgive them if they ask. so worry bout your damn self instead of deciding other people fates.

It IS A SIN to judge when you YOURSELF has NOT walk into their shoes.
Why is it most of the times are those kiddo who've not live long enough to experience crap that tried to give advice to middle-agers, who've weathered it out there AT LEAST a decade more than them. A decade makes a whole lots of difference, eps. they have other factors which you don't for eg. kids, spouses, etc.
I'm not trying to discriminate, but I'd advised those young folks that if you really want to give advise, please do so in light of SELF-REFLECTION / WEIGHING in terms of your own spiritual maturity and experience vs the victims' (ie the variables involved. Many a times, the stakeholder in young ones is just them, but middle-agers involves a whole lot more), the DURATION of the matter of which the victim endured vs your own (it does make a difference in outlook and perspectives), etc..., does impact your maturity in such matters.
Firstly, in the bible, while there are mentions of brethren supporting each other, it did not specifically said the young brethren or any such indication. He/she may be younger, but if he/she qualified to be brethren of someone, he/she must've already attained a certain level of spiritual maturity to qualify as such - an equal, ie, a brethren. And, a brethren is someone who already have a connection to you not some stranger, esp. strange young ones.
Secondly, there is a REASON why when God said go to the ELDERS for prayer, healing, help, etc.
While wisdom do not discriminate in gender, ethnic or age, but the Bible did not shy away to mention that 'Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days.'Job 12:12. The only difference is, are we talking about the aged in term of God-believing middle-agers vs aged pagans/atheists..because Pro 1:7. That is the only point a young ones can argue, but do so having a steep awareness of your own spiritual maturity otherwise do it at your own peril ( a victim is already in s stumbling state, do you wanna caused them to further stumble IF your advice is not spiritually mature and sound enough? If you pass this, then please proceed, if not - then please, shut up.)

I will ask God why the hell he allow all the bad stuff to happen before judging.

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read the book of Job in the Old Testament

Don't beg, whatever you do don't beg. Praying and begging will never help you, you cant just let how you feel rule you either. You need to think logical, and explore your life.

**** god he is pure evil just look at this world all this suffering for his so called plan?if he can stand by this much suffering just imagine how much lvoe he has for people he is truly selfish and when he claims he loves someone its a selfish love i rebuke his plans and say **** THE HOLY SPIRIT he is the most sadistic ***** who sits on his *** all day recieving lame *** praises while ppl suffer he is a coward and a egoistical narcissistic piece of crap his praises are a joke hope he remembers every praise he gets that its all tainted with the suffering of this world

read the book of Job in the Old testament. That is God not god.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that p1sses me off.” ― Stephen King, Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay

man i get so ******* upset when i hear about people suffering. it really does make me sick to my brain and my stomach. it just doesn't make sense to me. if GOD is supposed to be perfect, then why the **** does he let all this god damned suffering happen. If he was 10000 percent perfect then WHY THE **** cant there be an easier way to obtain happiness? why couldn't he have reset the neurons, dopamine/serotonin levels, and every other cell that makes us who we are?! Why couldn't he find a way to make us all happy 100% of the time?! hes supposed to be ******* GOD right?! and for those who use the stupid excuse oh hes working behind the scenes and allowing tragedies to happen to benefit you "in the long run" ok. so what about all the nice young children/adults who ******* kill themselves because their life sucks so much. what about them?!

and what about the religious gays who cant live their own god damned mother ******* life in peace because they have, in the back of their minds every waking moment of everyday, the idea that they will burn in hell for something that they cant really control. or what about the nice, innocent, warm hearted, loving folks out in other parts of the country (or even in the US), who grew up in a perhaps muslim, Judaism, or atheist household for 20 years and who simply cant believe even if they tried (like me...because TRUST me, ive tried... oh boy have i tried. i just simply cant believe.) and compare them to those who have it 1000 times easier and perhaps grew up in strongly routed Christian families. so those nice, caring, and loving atheist burn in hell?! is that fair? fellow Christians, is that really what god does?! **** him then if that's really how things work. don't wanna be a part of his empire then anyway.

So let me get this straight. a person who has been a ***** their ENTIRE life... killed... robbed... selfish greedy heartless violent ****** were talking here. and as long as they believe in GOD by the time they die as well as apologize and beg for forgivness for their sins, they go to heaven. vice versa that, though (imagine a saint... made thousands in donations to less fortunate, lived life with love and affection to all, etc. ... but they just didn't believe.. they burn in hell?!?!? r u ******* kidding me?!?!?

it just seems like often times people use religion as a cover up to help them get through this horrible life we live in. i was thinking of going into psychology maybe (that is...if i make it through this crappy life without killing myself). and this seems to be psychology 101. people are so scared of death and even life itself that they use heaven as a crutch for dealing with the fact that we die and nothing ******* happens. OR life is too hard to deal with in itself for them (which is understandable... life sucks), so they like the feeling of knowing someone else is there to essentially protect them.

My father was an atheist and i HATED that he would babble on about how gods not real. and i never talk about these things with my friends cuz id never want to convert them even the slightest if they did have faith. but im kinda at the end of my rope man. i simply am losing the will to care.... i hate life and, if there is a god, i hate him as well. anyway whoever read this thanks for reading. sorry to babble for so long. and sorry for all the swearing... just angry with life lol (and god...if there is one...which doesn't seem like there is)

I absolutely hate God. !! I was bullied in school to the point i dropped out in 11th grade,my ex fiancee broke my nose,threw me out of the car,choked me till i passed out and threw me down the stairs. Then my first husband stole from me to buy drugs,wouldnt work,tried to force me to get abortions with both our kids,hit me,cheated on me then walked out. I remarried,was with him 13 years, he treated ne just as bad and then got all religous and left me for some c... he met at church,i lost my job of six years,cant find one lost my house,my mother is verbally abusive, my best friend stabbed me in the back and im all alone and broke. But this son of a b.... supposedly loves me ? Id hate to see how hed treat me if he hated me !!! And because i choose not to thank him for my crying myself to sleep every night hes sending me to hell ...well whatever. Hes the one who can go to hell for all i care.

read the book of Job in the Old Testament. that is God not god.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that p1sses me off ― Stephen King, Storm of the Century: An Original Screenplay

hahaha thats funny. bad, but funny.

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I feel your pain and have nothing but hate and anger towards god......I wish you much success, happiness, and fullfillment .....inspite of the Great Tormentor

I can imagine how being abused creates a mental block for people who go through it.Hate, guilt, resentment.But for **** sakes.You should hate the people who do those things to you!It's their choice to be who and what they are.We aren't puppets on a string obeying every command of God.So why hold him responsible for the ****** up choices your parents or whoever made?...You can't blame a father for the sins of his children...For he cannot control him.Same with us and God.

You want a feel good reply or honest one?

If u hate ur life, but if u love god. Soon he will give u somethig really amazing, maybe u will be very rich, maybe you will go heaven if ur action are bad, not killing!. Do you know what i love god, now i Am rich

i know how you feel, god allowed me to be abused 15 yrs sexualy,physical,mentaly, why i hate god, grew up in a cult religion in texas ,ran at 16 never look back, i don't do church, i lost the love of my life 7 yrs ago,i blame him i was happy, my best friend was killed ,i blame him, my daughter i raised by my self last 7 yrs, shes has tryed cucide often, in and out hospital,shes all i got, cayse i chose not to be abused by god or his belives, im a peramedic/emt most my life feel i do to help those god don't i lost my belives i feel if you belive inyourself thats makes you better ,if you dying don't waste your time praying, look inside yopur self find strength save your self,i work 4o hrs a week for me and my kid, she needs me thats what keeps me going, i didn't know my ex girl friend druged/abused my daughter why i was out of town working every week, now its just me and my kid, i trust no one, i love no one i belive in no one, my kids my life ,so thats why im still going on, for her, she does,t see the pain im in, no one does i hide it well, but i drinjk myselt to sleep every night, last 3 yrs since my kid has been having issues, im a man was told men arte strong, don;t cry, **** that shil i cry every night and every day inside,if i lose my kid i then lose my will to live, but i live my life as i want not by a book(bible) i hate men and now women trust no one, so single dad is my title, since i don.t ask god for anything, feel i don't owe him sorry words misspelled so pissed at hin , cause now my child is affected bny this relious ****, she chose not to be controled by christians ways also, i figer only have one life to live, so i do my dam best to make it me and my kids best,. so i say ,best wishes and if god hates you, hate him back, it works for me !

wow you are a paramedic/EMT. i suggest the book of Job in the Old Testament. that is God not god. I feel you're pain when you say you can't trust anyone. The alcohol wont make it better. Maybe you two need to work something out like go out and walk the dog.

i do not believe in god i do not believe a jesus died for our sins i believe that we are responsible for our own actions. i believe the bible is misleading and bullshit lol..

You pathetic fool. You think, you're greater than God, telling him what to do, telling him he should apologise . Get some wisdom first lady .

don't you judge her,and what should she say to god....you sound like one of the "god fearing people" rather than "god loving" people...you would know if u haddd been on her place.she told what she feels,in today's world or any other world,people needs proof,if she said she feels like god hates her,she said because she went through all that.and for her to feel god doesn't hate her(I know he doesn't),she needs a proof.you have wisdom?why don't you give her some?

As a child I had to endure seeing my mother getting beat to a pulp by her boyfriends , From what I can gather she was having sex at a young age ,my grandparents weren't much help ,in her guidance. Being a teen in the 70's this era still had that phase of sex drugs and rock n roll
I love my mom don't get me wrong but I remember seeing and hearing different men screwing her. She loved the night life especially the beer drinking as time went on things sort of slowed down ,then the 80's hit I have more background on her being married but that in itself is a tragic story ,it involves her husband at the time, killing someone. Moving on she found a man named Ishmael he seemed okay I remember him being a jerk of sorts he gave my mom two more kids my sister & brother. Ishmael after at least 2 years he ended up killing himself some think he was murdered. My mom went insane she needed to be in as many cans of beer's as possible she at the time neglected us her children I remember she would leave for days and we would be starving if it wasn't for help from our neighbors who knows what could have happened. Starvation is painful guys imagine living children skeletons.It hurts to think of those times and even when my mom would come back things weren't that much different .Then the cruel years began it's still the 80's but now my mom found a man named Dimas ,this guy was a cruel son of a ***** meanest man that still haunts me ,he would hit my mom so hard she just wanted to pass out he wouldn't let her fall , he once kicked me right in the ******* so hard i was paralyzed for a minute.he hung my brother in a closet with a water hose in a way that it wouldn't kill him but it was still "I had to stop typing I'm starting to cry" okay going back it,- was around my brothers neck I would sneak in that closet and release my brother ,I would take the chance of something horrible happening to me. Okay no more about my past this **** is just the tip of the iceberg i'd like to move on in my adult years. Yea I went to church. I was told Jesus loves me yes he does,I was shown some kindness from church members but it only happened on Sunday's and Wednesdays. One man in particular was the kindest christian I've ever met but he didn't stay that way always.He became distant and I know longer knew him I don't talk with him anymore.I have a wife and 5 children 3 are biological. I have depression and an anxiety disorder. My wife can't work much due to scoliosis. I have a teenage daughter which can be a total nightmare , I love her but she is a pain in the ***.My sons are cool there just boys I hold them and comfort them and never allow them to be sad for long I'm happy they didn't experience the **** I went through and there not going to I yell but what dad doesn't. I try and make ends meet, I live in a town were the oilfield is booming and there is so much money to be made I'm trying to get in on that but that's getting hard to do seems you have to know someone .Even with all the high stacks of bills and me getting sick and the current **** job that I have ,I think of God I think about all the ways he could have made it easier on me ,where is my **** en break GOD I went through hell as a kid and now its different **** ,as an adult ?!.He does listen folks but as far as helping which he said he would do ,hasn't happened !!.I have lived in misery for a long **** en time I have learned about the evil **** that goes on all around the place .I know about the evil **** that can happen to you or your kids you think crying and begging will help I've tried it ,that does not work .I've complained countless times ,the only one I hear is myself. Where is God ?! I have seen evil *** people prosper like a son of a ***** .Where is God ?! I've asked too many time's. I had a screwed up child hood and now a screwed up adult hood . Now that I see what I see maybe I'm knocking on the wrong door for help maybe God has a big ****'en sign that says (DO NOT DISTURB GO AWAY).All I know is I'm stuck and i'm so sick of worrying if he isn't going to help me maybe I should quit believing in him. Maybe I'm a fool for thinking he would save my *** for the sake of my family. Now to think about it he didn't help me when I was a kid why should he help me as an adult?.
Folks God has his favorites he knows its wrong,but hey he's God what can you do about it.

There probably is no God, so don't worry about it, and enjoy life.

I am in a depressing phase in my life, I have a lot of problems, there is a God. And I know he still loves me.

then how were we made?

i hate that ****** scumbag for putting me on this rotten so good earth to begin with, and i did not ask to be born either. all i ever wanted for a straight man like me was to meet the right woman, instead of the filthy ***** that i married. and had i really known that she was trash to begin with, i would have never married that pig. now single and alone again sucks so very much for me, thinking that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her and have a family too. going out is very difficult for me, since i seem to meet so many low life loser women now that have an attitude problem, and are very difficult to start a normal conversation with. i never realized that GOD created so much garbage like them in the first place, and this is hurting us innocent good men that are seriously looking to meet a good woman and have a relationship again. i certainly can't blame myself for GOD'S very big mistake, that is for sure. women have become so damn rotten today, and they are nothing like the women that we had years ago when they accepted the man who who he was, and he did not have to make a lot of money to be accepted. it is bad enough that i have to go to work , and then coming home to an empty house with nobody there just makes it worse for me. when i see so many very lucky men and women that were very fortunate to have met one another and have a family, they should go to church to pray too GOD, and thank him very much for having a life that i would have certainly wanted. it is so very amazing how GOD works for some people, and not us. what makes certain people so damn special, and not me? i am so different than they are, and i certainly want a life just as much as they have one. i can see why i hate GOD so much, and i really can't blame myself for being so very bitter too. and now that there are so many LESBIANS TODAY, and that certainly adds to the problem. women are much more into other women nowadays, and if i have to compete with these pigs just to find a real good woman, boy that just makes it even worse for me.

Sometimes god puts obstacles in the way but it sounds like you're making many of your problems all by yourself. Not all women are the same. Some therapy might be in order.

God is an *******. I just hate him!!!

You are so right!!!there is no ******* word like God and its a super lie..God give miseries to good people and just happiness to bad people...I hate you and just hate you God!!!

The greatest people in life are the ones who struggle...All the great Icons in this world went through some form of struggle but in the end there reward was greater than the struggle. Sometimes he uses you as an instrument so you can help someone else, What you went through was horrible, unfortunate and unfair no one should have to go through what you went through. But there are so many girls or guys who are living your past today, and you can be that person to help them through it, because nobody knows what it feels like more than someone who has actually gone through it. You know the pain , you can use that pain and anger in a way which can help others, ..You can be that voice for them....Keep trying and keep shining....God loves you... You are still here despite what they have done to you...which can only mean one thing ..you are strong and not easily defeated...God is preparing you for something great....just watch.....Anger is easy...faith and patience is hard.

I know how you feel. I feel like God has failed me too.

It is not God or Goddesses fault. But we feel for you. Hang in there and keep building character. You will see that things will get better for you soon! Please try not to have vindictive thoughts towards us. Your thought really happens, so keep them safe!
E the yura! -
Christ and Megan Black

I lost my grandson in June a week later my son had a rollover and lifeflight had to come the I lost a second family member to cancer that next week then my other daughter had a rollover and was transported to the ER and during this time wee were evacuated from our home several times because of the wild fires and we finally lost our home and our home ba<x>sed business too. We are homeless and I thank God that he has been there for us through prayer. God does not make things happen to you nor is the devil allowed to make things happen to you. We can be tempted by Satan and we can listen for the spirit of direction in our lives. I love God for making these catastrophies bearable. And as Satan tempts the spirit is there also letting me know I can CHOOSE BY MY OWN WILL what I will have happen in my life. God loves us so much he wants us to be I dependent and will stand back and allow us to be in control of our own lives through the power of prayer. I hope you will give Him another chance and with a quiet heart, listen... He will be the only footprints you see in the sand as he carries you through the trials of life... if... you'll let Him... May He bless us all. I love you God...

I totally agree that there is no point in believing in such a god that remains indifferent to your suffering, who stays high up there in his comfort kingdom. The thing is I have found one who lives just like you and me, who knows the struggles of life, who is constantly unjustly condemned by the systems which keep human society in order, who goes through uncertainty with me, who has given you and me the strength to defile such enslaving and destructive greed and selfishness. He has been my friend and I hope you will find him too.

I'm in the same struggle with you. You're not alone.

**** god he's is an shiiit head. he loves ******** and sucks ****. i hate god i despise god **** god he is a lying sack of dog shiit. **** god i hate god

there is no need 2 curse. this talk is 4 mature people. so you talk about how you feel God has failed you but you don't curse especially to God. u need 2 think about the dangers you put others in when you speak of God this way not just yourself & so if I'm in trouble when you speak of God this way how much more would I & others hate you than what you hate God.

been there when my wife was killed i was tired of being told wellit was gods will<br />
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funny he takes her life they way he did but lets other trash stay alive granted we were young we had only been married 3 years when she was killed at age 19 and yes we got married at age 13 out of love and for no other reason as we could not have kids ever

I dont understand why there are different religions? if there is god then it can only be 1 right? and why dont he show himself? prove to the fools like me that he really does exist! I dont know if i should blindly believe him? because i've never seen him.. no one has. just cos our parents believe and the books says he does, doesnt mean we have to.... i will believe if i seen him or if he proves me that he really exist. thats my opinion.

thats right, he wants you to prove all things, and he doesnt just say hes got because he feels like it, i guess he will call you when the time is right,

I haven't been through your personal trials but I have been through my own. But you can't give up hope. I know how it feels to feel alone and feel like nothing will ever go right. I have been to the point where I have wanted to end my own life even before I was !@ years old. But you have to hold on and not give up hope. It is a given that life will never be all sunny days. We got through things but it is up to us to keep our Faith in God and not let life stop us. My dad always told me "Life is a test. None of this is real. We are trying to pass this test so that we can become and get to a place greater than we can even imagine." We don't all have the same test but I guarantee you that we all go through things. It may seem that the next person is happier but you never know what the next person is going through. This is easy to say to you but it is the truth. I had to learn these things the hard way. I have lived a life where I was not grateful for the Blessings that I had because I thought my life was horrible until more was taken away from me then I noticed how Blessed I really was. It is easy to focus on the bad. You gotta get up and keep moving. LIfe is hard. That is just the truth of it. LIfe is very hard but we are not alone even when we fill like we are. If something doesn't work out then move on to something else. You can't focus on the past. You just have to learn to find out what works for you and makes you happy. You may not get everything you want. I don't get everything I want. But that is why it is called life. You have to find the beauty in your individual life. There is something there that makes your life worth living. You're still here. You woke up this morning. Take advantage. God has not failed you. Stop comparing your life with someone else's and focus on what God wants for you. I can guarantee you that his plan for you is greater than the plan you have for yourself. Just don't give up on yourself and don't lose your Faith in God. Trust me I really feel your pain right now. I found you because I was feeling down on myself today and thinking "why is this happening to me? i am a good person so why am i going through these things?" so i am going to take my own advice right now and i suggest you do the same. God is so good. You just have to keep believing and open your eyes. Read the Bible, renew your Faith, and stay strong. I am going to keep you in my prayers and thoughts. I will also make sure I take my own advice. Keep your head up. You are a unique child of God and he Loves you more than you'll ever know.

i will not lose my fath in hope, and i will not lose my hope for a good life, theres God that is gonna be there for me, an he will give me everything that i need, so i still beleive, and i been through worse than this ***** that posted this nasty evil message, she had the cheek to physically abuse god and slap him, i say he forsakes her, coz shes a brat, shes getting punished for being an abusive insulant girl, just like all those that have accused me of being insulent, they are insulent, god knows "if they say your an insulent girl, doesnt mean that you are, they wanna be god, they forget they are puny humans", and plus every other human being telling me "you dont want me to remind you what you done, you did this and you said you never want to see me your this your did this, your evil your bad, your this", those areseholes will get a taste of what this girl is getting, im just waiting, and then wath them try and abuse god, and il hit them, and they surely will hit me back, but god will terminate their life and send them to the pits of hell, where they get what they gave out, and i just boast and say one nill to me. nanananana, now you know what it feels like, and god is turning his face away from you badly behaved aresfuold that hurt my feelings and made me fel bad within my self and im just rejoicing, receing the blessings they want, and watch them cringe with jelkously and grind their teeth, espeically the lustful fornicators that are perverted young girls that sleep around that harassed me coz they were jelous coz i wasn a ***** like they were, watrch them get their hell, they are in big trouble with god, why do you think they hate me so much, my conceince is clean, i am not going to fornicate like those bithces, no job, no car, no home, no food, no clothes, no love, no open doors, and lots of abuse that they gave me me plus more, GO GET EM GOD GLORY TO GOD GLORY TO GOD GLORY TO GOD, HALLEULIAH, HALLEIHAL HALLELULIAH, GOD YOU KNOW THEY ARE YOUR ENEMIES ANY ENEMY OF MINE IS AN ENEMY OF GOD, GET EM GOD, THEY ARE EVIL STENCH IN YOUR SIGHT, BUT IM BEAUTIFUL TO YOU, COZ YOU TOD ME THAT MANY TIMES.

I'm truly sorry you couldn't drown your heart with your brain. The intellect becomes 90% of you after a while, after those teenage years. It wont matter how you feel, it wont matter what you believe will happen. If you truly wish for such things you have no perseverance, your just like your enemies. Full of pride and manipulation if god was on your side. Rest with regret, soreness, and desire.




2 More Responses

You shouldn't hate God because God doesn't exist. You should hate your mother. What a Kuntole!<br />
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Forget God and Hate and all that crap...take responsibility for your own self...don't blame God...don't blame your phuquedup mother...just go to the bookstore...buy a copy of Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich...read the book...study the philosophies of the book...restart your plans to build a business and go at it again....<br />
...but all of this I hate God crap...really just grow the *** up okay!<br />

God I can't figure it out all on my own. I'm only human.

**** YOU! TELLING HER TO GROW UP?! Really? You're the one who needs to grow up. SO leave her the **** alone please.