I Am Angry With My Brother

This is going to be a long story. But basically I am 25 and my brother is 16.

Less than two years after I got married my mother asked me if I'd return home and take care of her house, her properties, and her children (my bro and sis, 14 and 17 at the time) while she went to work as a translator for the military. In exchange she would cover rent and household bills, which would help hubby and I save for a home.

My husband and I agreed- and since March of 2007 we left our lives and came to live back home.

Some info- my brother is very spoiled, rarely, if ever told no when he wants something, gets video games all the time, and when my mom was leaving he was actually happy because he said she rarely let him go out. He plays video games at least 7 hours a day on weekdays and at least twice that on weekends. His friends come over or he goes to their house and they just play MORE video games!

This past Wednesday night my brother decides that he's not going to school on Friday because THURSDAY night he is going to a MIDNIGHT party for a video game. I told him no, but Friday after work I'd take him to pick up the game and then if he wants drive him to a friends house where he can spend the night and play the game.

He has a fit, he begs and begs, I say no, you aren't missing school and that's final. He has bad grades also, he's a C/D student. So he yells and argues with me and I was like that's enough, no matter what you are NOT going.

So he is like "well I'm running away!" And he walks out, I tell him get back to the house, he leaves. I'm like whatever go cool off. After a bit I call his dad (parents are divorced) and tell him the situation and my dad calls him and tells him to come home.

He comes home all angry, and by this time I've removed his computer from his room and told him to clean his room and then he can have his computer back. He stomps to his room and about ten minutes later I walk to his room to talk to him and he's GONE- screen is pushed out and he's totally gone.

I call my dad, tell my dad I refuse to look for him, and I'm calling the police.

My dad ends up finding him, and I tell my dad that he is not allowed back to the house so my brother is now living with my father.

My mom has been made aware of the situation and she said she's very disapointed in my brother. But today she sends me an email saying that she talked to my brother and he said it's not just the game, but that he's tired of the "situation" at home. My mom didn't elaborate on the situation, but I was like mom he's so FULL OF IT. There is NO situation, he's just mad cuz I told him no about some video game.

And honestly I do not believe there is one- this is just another spoiled brat tantrum. For halloween I threw him a party and he invited his friends and I spent a few hundred dollars on food and decorations and costumes, and he's "tired of the situation?"

He barely has any chores, only to water the lawn, mow the lawn, and take out the trash, and I always have to remind him to do ALL of these things AND he never mows the lawn or waters it. He will be 17 next month and has never worked a day in his life.

I'm just really annoyed right now- and I am not allowing him to return home- which I am sure after two weeks he'll ask to come home- when he finds out dad isn't going to give him everything either. I know my dad's wife isn't going to be happy either, but honestly I don't care- it's their responsibility now!

*rant over*

almostthere83 almostthere83
22-25, F
3 Responses Nov 7, 2008

It's sibling love story when one cares a lot but the other just neglects it ... may its individual character which makes some so loving as you seem to be and others as indifferent as your brother..I hope that some day your brother realize the importance of blood relationship and cares as much as you do... Ameen

Thanks for responding.<br />
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My sister happened to check my mom's email and found what he wrote to my mom.<br />
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Basically he lied, he said I never listen to him, that I'm mean to him, and so on.<br />
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And I'm not gonna lie that REALLY hurt. I'm pretty shocked that he would say that as I've always listened to what he has to say, I always do nice things for him, my husband treats him like his own brother and goes out with him just the two of them, and so on.<br />
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My mother will never set rules and boundaries for him in my opinion because she's ALWAYS caved in in the past. I'll be surprised if my father sets any for him, since he's the only boy they act like he's the golden child (we are middle eastern).<br />
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It's unfortunate but I really feel my brother is going to wind up with a crummy life and ten years from now regret it.<br />
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So the plan for this weekend is to clean out my brother's room and prepare it as a guest room for my mother when she comes back for her vacation time, pack his stuff in a box, and give it to his dad and wash my hands of the whole situation for now.<br />
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I guess life can be funny like that, I never thought my brother would do this- and knowing my dad- he's probably filling my brother with negative thoughts about me.

This is a very hard situation, and i really feel for you, I have a similar brother to yours, he didn't finish high school, just because he didn't feel like it, he's 19 now though, he used to be just like your brother. He sold my mom's car so he can get a better one.....My mom was pissed and she let him. He plays video games all day, and well my mom vented with me, and I told her to start putting restrictions on him. On his 18th year old birthday party, he made a mess on my mom's house, and she didn't like it, she put a lot of rules around the house and stuff. He didn't like it but learned to lie with it. He needed to be tied down for a while, he wasn't allowed to go out with his friends, which is what he liked the most, or to play video games unless he bough them with his own money...Now, he's a floor supervisor at target, has his own bed, his own computer in his room, pays for internet and for his games...he's still a brat, but now that he knows how hard is for money to come by, he is appreciating things a little bit more..<br />
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Good luck with the situation and I hope your mom is not easily convinced by whatever he said. Keep me posted please....