I'm Pissed Off With a Good Cause....

This experience falls into a few catagories. And They are a part of my day to day life that I will never be able to escape possibly. I am trapped.

Even after my whole situation with my ex boyfriend and his sister, who basically followed me around and pestered the ever living **** out of me, life was awesome. I got a new boyfriend. But recently, everything has turned to ****. My father is a absolute coward. I hope he rots in hell. He never has supported us once and I think in my life time of having my dad here and me knowing him, he's bought groceries once and payed the bill for the house 6 times. I think even less then that....

He complains about his jobs, about how much he hates them. So then he goes off and doesn't do **** but smoke his weed and buy his smokes and drink. He gives us money last if he even has any after. I run a animal rescue but it's come down to the sad sad truth, I have to give them all a home and to other santuaries now because my dad took the ******* money and left us. Left us high and dry. Left us with nothing but $6000 of money that we owe to our morgage. We have a month to move and we can't even support ourselves now since my mom has lost her job. It's been incredibly hard. I'm angry partially at my father. If you all only knew what a true ******* this **** was. He is a absolute coward. He hides from my mom and then tries to come into the house during the day when nobody is home. He steals our ****, we cannot afford to put any new locks in. When we change the garage code, he just uses the key into the door. It's ******* lame. What more does he want from us?

He sucked us dry. Can't he just go away now?

It's also just how much I hate where I live too. I live in a very small ghetto-ish area. By day it's a pretty nice place but by dusk to night it becomes something else. Something wicked and horrible. I've been mugged several times this month walking my dog so I don't even ******* bother going outside past 9pm. But I go to a very richy school. I was supposed to go to another school but my mom didn't want me to go to that school in particular so she changed me a while back. In my school currently, this richy school, it's full of schnops. Just a bunch of people who want to talk about how much they drank and **** the night before and how wonderfully cool it is to be a *****. They ridicule anyone who looks differ from the abecrombie and fitch look or anyone that doesn't particullarly dresses like they are in a sports team or something of those lines. I don't really try to go for any thing but myself. I don't feel comfortable in those clothes. I do dress a grunge 90's punk-ish brit look. I have a mohawk. I did the hair all by myself, I'm very proud of the cut and style since I used only 2 mirrors and scissors. It was difficult. But since this haircut, I've gotten more **** then I have in my last 16 years. I'm now 17.

I used to be a very social butterfly and dressed the same way as always but I had long hair. I gradually cut it shorter till I said I want a mohawk. I'm tired of waiting. Since then, friends dropped off and never wanted to talk to me. What the hell? Over a haircut?

If your not on the football team and your not a man, then you cannot have a mohawk apparently. I don't make the rules but people act like this is some rule I never knew about. Like it was some testiment on the bible....I'm not sure any of the people at my school read one anyway lol...[i'm just as guilty in that area. I don't do religion.]

Today I saw a good friend of mine...well who I THOUGHT was a good friend. I told him "hay what's up? I haven't seen you in forever! I recall you being a bit shorter. Then again, I've always been short so you probably grew! How are you?"

He told me, "Get the **** away from me. I don't recall you ever looking like a ****** dike *** *****. Please don't talk to me, I can't stand faggots like you with your faggoty hairstyles."

What did I do? I put my cigarette out since I was outside and walked toward the entrence but I was some ways out away from the school and his little buddies were walking behind him I guess and they all ran up on me and pushed me down and kicked me. I scraped my knee, lost a bunch of **** over the rail [there is a lake near the edge where I walk sometimes. I guess it either got kicked over or they threw it? not sure.] and They made some wise cracks about How I apparently am a carpet-muncher. I usually would say, hell naw I'mma kick this kid's ***! But being out-numbered by 4, and being as tiny as I was and all of them being jocks, fighting them wouldn't get me anywhere then a few broken ribs or some rediculess **** like that. I got up, brushed the dust off of me and kept walking. I was harassed all day in school. I've had this haircut now since January 1st and I don't know why NOW I'm getting this bad of **** over it...

I just went to the dean's office, asked to go home, told what happened and was excused.

I'm tired of being angry and the world for the **** people do out of meanness. I hate high school. I hate socializing now. The responce I get back is always along the lines of me being a *** and how I eat ***** [im straight and I walk around with my boyfriend all the time..he's always fighting and trying to stick up for me.] and I'm not sure why I get the **** that I do since I try to be nice as ****. I try to help people who need the hand and stick up for my friends. Just the other day I said hi to this kid walking next to me and he said "don't talk to me, freak."

I was told high school is bad. But why is it becoming so nasty NOW? I'm a Junior. What makes it feel more ****** is how the seniors think its ok to just pick on the lower classed people. [Yea. those kids who tossed/kicked my **** over the river were seniors.] and apparently if you don't snort/pop pills, aren't a junkie, don't drink, don't smoke, or do SOMETHING..then your a loser. A worthless pathetic piece of ****.

I am angry at the majority of the school and of how rutheless some people are just to get their kicks. I'm also pissed at my dad.

I'm angry at how judgemental these people are. When I glance at their myspace's, they always have something about "acceptance" and yet they can't accept someone like me. Why? Because of hair? Hair is hair. It grows. You cut it. Sometimes you wanna do something fun with it. How can you ask for acceptance when you can't even accept someone just trying to say Hi, how are you to you?

I'm mad at the ******* world

RoTTenKoRn RoTTenKoRn
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 18, 2009

well being as you have to move, why can't you move to a different area? a nicer place. somewhere maybe where your dad can't find you. <br />
your friends obviously are not real friends! any real friends would respect your right to wear, and look, however you feel most comfortable. I understand this is extremely difficult for you right now, but you need to stay positive. <br />
It might be hard, but i think your mum needs you so you really need to hold it together for her sake. assure her that everything will be alright. there's places you can go to now to get get money to support you. Like dole and whatever else, just until you and your mum are back on your feet. just so you have enough to manage until your mum gets another job, or you get one, or whatever you plan to do.<br />
sit with your mum, work out what you plan to do next ! <br />
i wish you all the best.