Why Do Negative People Have To Spread Their Negativity?

An old school friend contacted me to arrange meeting up. She keeps on pushing back dates saying she is busy, which is fine as i am busy too.

The thing is...I am not interested in talking about her past over and over again and get the impression with her that maybe she needs to seek professional help. I always felt it important to allow people to feel listened to but it gets to a point that she is repeating herself over and over again. I can't stand it and I try to direct her to a more positive conversation and then she will do the opposite to be overly positive it's fake.

She thinks she is ok but everytime it ends up discussing her ex, why she must have this and that and everything is just bad....how do i tell her i am not interested in hearing her moan? diplomacy hasn't worked. Ignoring her doesn't work she keeps contacting me...i'm thinking to just let this go and not respond.

Why do negative people have to spread their negativity?
forgetmenots forgetmenots
31-35, F
4 Responses Jul 15, 2010

That makes them feel better. They feed their negativity by spreading negativity. Just the same with a positive person they spread their love to feed their love. And that feels better than spreading negativity.

oh more on negativity.. i think it comes from low self esteem and lack of imagination as a way to garner attention to themselves. As in bad attention is better than no attention for them. Even though we tried to give them good attention and it finally wore us out.. hahahahaaa.. I came to the same conclusions as you that she probably needed professional help. Since i don't have a degree in psychology or the paycheck to go with it .. i opted out of "girlfriend" therapy with her.. lolol .. Too bad we can't get your "friend" and my "friend" together .. maybe they would love each other hahahahahaaha

forgetmenots!!!!!!! we had the exact same friend! Everything you said your friend did.. my friend did all of that!!!! I finally could not take it any more and no amount of subtle ways of trying to lose contact with her worked. She seemed to be clueless to my attempts at easing out of the "friendship".. so i had to tell her i was breakin up with her. I know it sounds like a strange turn of phrase woman to woman but it was the only way to bonk her over the head with the message that we were just not compatible enough to continue a friendship. It worked for me.. maybe could work for you too! Negative people fall into the toxic people category for me and i just have to get away from them. Don't need that toxic waste. So once you see a pattern emerging.. get out quick !!! lolololol .. that's my advice. Good luck and congratulations from me on being another kindred spirit and positive soul of the universe .. rock on !!! xox

I definately understand the frustration here, people reliving their past and inviting you in can make you feel just as miserable as they are!