If Others Are Disposable, So Are YouEntitlement is an ugly concept. It suggests that one is more deserving than another, for no other reason than circumstance.
Circumstances change. Lots of things change.
But basic value and worth don't. We all are ONE. We each are equally whole, just constitutionally different in our makeup and the way we're woven.
People who feel entitled have been taught poorly or not at all, about the things that matter.
People with entitlement complexes generally see the world like this: I NEED TO GET AND KEEP MINE.
My husband used to dream about traveling the world with his mother and being served - or God forbid, NOT being served promptly or exquisitely and completely. He dreamt of literally walking on top of people waiting outside a building so that he could be first to the top step and get what he needed inside. And he dreamt often about nervously awaiting his share as he sat at a round table surrounded by others wanting as much or more of the pot of money in the center.
Not surprisingly, my mother-in-law is a haughty woman who has never worked a day in her life. She has lived off of her long-deceased husband's hard-earned money; counting it out at her desk faced by a painting of a miserly old bearded man counting his coins. Her life consists of going places and memorizing names to drop when lesser beings visit her penthouse. Between her negative nature, malignant narcissism and giant chip on her shoulder from lacking a college degree - things no one would DARE say about her - she has been one heap of joy and lightness.
While hoarding "her" money and holding her children hostage emotionally for decades, her gift to them has been a nice big Entitlement complex. She has;also so generously shared her paranoia and anxiety around the world's intentions and grabby fingers around every corner.
"You have to learn math so no one will cheat you!" she rails at her grandson, shaking her finger in his face.
Pleasant. And so instructive!
My stbx covers the other part of the beautiful message: Just leave all your food and wrappers under the table or on the airport floor - it's someone's job to clean up after you. And sure, eat every one of the chocolate covered strawberries hand-dipped specially for guests, you are so cute with the mess on your contorting vampire face.
We learn from words, actions, gestures, judgments and expectations.
And actions always speak louder than words.
"Your stepbrothers with special needs are doing the best they can," followed by laughing when his kid kicks one in the rear, ignoring his kids' mean words and loud and proud exclusion of mine, allowing his to run with their plates into their room or not come into the house when mine were there - which was very infrequently - and doing nothing when his broke through the bathroom screen to yell and jeer disgustingly while I changed my children.
But what do you expect from people whose boundaries were never respected and who, in turn, failed to create any for their offspring in retribution to the unfair world?
When you are taught to TAKE TAKE TAKE and protect yourself and your resources FOR DEAR LIFE,
this is how you identify yourself; your value is what you GOT by circumstances and this makes you SPECIAL and
And since that's all you are, life is FEAR.
Life is getting what you can and holding onto it.
Life is trading purity for a messy pocket of coinage.
Love is sacrificed for that from which financial security and status are grown.
The soul is murdered young and replaced wtih a robotic image pretending it is Grand and that it loves itself.
But it can't love itself or anyone else. It sees others as a means to an end -
but the real death of spirit occurs when it recognizes it, too, is just another...
Occasionally, one of the entitled has an epiphany of sorts and sees that we are ONE. And from there - looks to spread opportunity and equal rights rather than fight for their OWN.
girlcapitol 41-45, F 11 Responses 2 Feb 10, 2011