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"We Who Are Perfect"

Tonight I read a story by a member that was thoughtful and well written in ILIASM. As a member of this group I found her story to be an expression of what we as members feel and recognize. As I scrolled down I read two comments that really got me thinking about what happens when some self righteous people take it upon themselves to think of their "words of wisdom" as appropriate behavior here. These two members reduced a thoughtful and well written story to nothing more than bullshit!

Now these two people made a choice. They could have commented in a thoughtful way but they chose to devalue every member of this group as a bunch of sex starved people who have no conception of what a marriage should be. They both missed the point which is the lack of the refuser to even try and discuss the problems that living in a SM entails. The writer of this story was expressing her frustration and pain at the lack of respect from her partner. At the very least, she deserves some compassion for her pain and not these comments that clearly shows a lack of empathy and respect!

Imagine if these were the only comments she received? How would she feel about opening up a private part of her life again in hopes of understanding and compassion? Thankfully saner minds prevailed and she is getting great support from those of us who walk in her shoes. As for the members who reduced her pain and open sharing as bullshit? The shame is on their shoulders.

Yes! Shame on you for taking something well written and honest and reducing it to pure crap! You tell us more about who you are as human beings than you realize. Make a group and call it "We Who Are Perfect" and comment on your intellect and lack of humanity. Sit in your ivory towers of perfection and gaze down at we mere mortals and know that you are joined in your self righteous attitudes.

We will be quite happy without you and continue to be supportive and compassionate to others. One other thing. Go out and buy yourselves some high boots so that the bullshit that we wallow in does not mar your perfect lives!
dartist dartist 56-60, F 4 Responses Jul 23, 2010

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It seems these people are often very young. My dear Dad (now departed) used to say:<br />
"You cannot put an old head on young shoulders" and this is so true. Lack of life experience often seems to be the common denominator for these judgemental and righteous people.<br />
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But others who are young , such as Hollynadine (see Temptesstuous' story( who show their maturity and intelligence by being respectful when they do not understand something . . . <br />
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It costs us nothing to be kind, to be respectful and to be genuine. If we know someone here we might have brisk exchanges on our differences of opinion, but there is never a place to attack personally IMO. I have been guilty of this on occasion and I deeply regret it. . . . <br />
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And when we don't understand something, or agree with it, I believe we should say nothing - or choose to learn about it before making provocative comments . . . Thanks for posting this Dartist - you have put in words what I think - once again!!!

Thank you both for your comments. Hopefully judgmental people will take a bit of time to think before throwing verbal stones at others. Life teaches each of us in its own ways. Wisdom comes as we grow as human beings. Life is not a popularity contest by any means. We try to do the best that we can and hope that others will be kind and compassionate. Demeaning behavior is something I will always draw a line on even if it falls on deaf ears at times. There is enough pain in life to go around without adding to this mix. Peace,D.

I, too, get annoyed with goody-goody lectures from people who don't "get" it. I understand how frustrating it is because I've had a lot of people respond that way to my stories. By now I'm mostly able to just see it for the ignorance it is, and take it with a grain of salt. It usually doesn't do any good to respond to them. Arguing with ignorant, self-righteous people is useless. You can't win, they will enjoy it, and you'll just get yourself all upset. I understand how frustrating it is to have someone make light of your feelings, Take care!

Hiya D.<br />
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That is why I called them 'borderline trolls'. What they wrote was disrespectful, thoughtless and self-righteous without a shred of useful input, written in such a way to get a rise out of posters. I gave them the benefit of the doubt JUST ONCE. If you continue to reply to such garbage, they then do one of two things; turn into fully fledged trolls and just start posting such inflammatory remarks that everyone gets angry and starts to flame them, OR they have an epiphany and stop replying whilst they go and do a bit of research.<br />
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Don't let it get to you. It is on their own shoulders, and they have been informed in the best way we can that their arrogant presumptuousness is not welcome..<br />
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Rob xxx