English ************ - Do You Write It?

Apostrophes are just the starting point. God almighty, I once read a epic rant some want-to-be grammar nazi had written on a forum, attempting to point out all the grammar flaws and errors most commonly seen online, and abusing people for being so stupid as to get these simple fundamentals of written communication wrong.

The apostrophe section was my favorite. Lots of swearing, a smarter than thou tone to the highly instructional piece this idiot had written, but he was describing what apostrophes are for, he managed to leave out possession. He failed to inform everyone that by grammar's own rules (there it went) you can apply an apostrophe to denote ownership (Sue's English lesson, Bob's glaring omission etc etc,)

Now, I've joined this group. That's true. I've been a professional writer, a freelance journalist and even served some time as an editor with a team of seven writers under me. I know my literary ****, but you know what? I'm not sad enough to get angry about other people's grammar fails. Sometimes I might correct them. Once in a while I'll make a joke about it with an articulate and similarly jaded friend. But angry? Can't be bothered. I have bigger fish to fry.

Every time an armchair editor gets their grammar nazi on, God makes a priest molest an alterboy. So stop it. Won't somebody PLEASE think of the alter boys? I'm not so much annoyed as silently dismayed by the misuse of the humble apostrophe. People just need to pull their socks up, straighten up and fly right. It's time everyone on the internet had a good long hard look at themselves.

I mean, this is grammar, man. This **** is serious. Apostrophe misuse just got real.




Musical Musical
36-40, M
4 Responses Jul 28, 2010

I'm slowly managing to get over that sickly feeling of seeing improper punctuation, but the one thing that never fails to irk me (or bother me on a deeply psychological level) is when people substitute the full stop in an ellipse with commas.

Though thanks for picking up on my misspelling of altarboy. I don't give a **** about religion so it may have been an unconscious error made in contempt. Altering boys is what priests do when they roll them over and pretend they're girls, right?

Grammar fails is a contemporary coloquial ex<x>pression, meaning grammatical failures. Learn to urban dictionary, noob.<br />
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And the latin (sic) is used to denote a mispelling in a primary source. The word 'their' is spelled correctly, smartass. Furthermore, it's used in it's correct context. their, as a generic, non-referring pronoun, not they're, a contraction of they are, or there, used HERE in context, "hey you over there, make sure you're right before you correct someone!"<br />
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If I want cheese chewing lessons I'll be sure to let you people know.

LMAO @ blueyedblond! Now, now. This **** is SERIOUS. You know we're only talking apostrophes here! <br />
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Even if "an armchair editor might get their [sic] grammar nazi on" were s/he referred to in the plural -- at least the word wasn't spelled "they're!" Apostrophe misuse just got REAL ! ;-)