Ok, This Has Gone Far Enough...

I find it exasperating when female:

actresses referring to themselves as "actors"...

hostesses referring to themselves as "hosts"...etc.


We went to a restaurant the other night and our "hostess" (that's right - notice that she was a female, so I don't refer to her as a "host") told us that "Cynthia will be your waiter tonight"


Really? Is Cynthia going to have a sex change before she meets us?


My wife and I have had this discussion several times, each time an actress refuses to call other actresses 'actresses' but calls them 'actors' instead. My wife says that women don't like to use the female version of the title because they find it insulting or diminutive. What is insulting about calling an actress an actress?

Am I alone on this?




VendettA12 VendettA12
31-35, M
33 Responses Feb 24, 2009

I drink milk because I want Hayden Panetierre's body, super powers, status as a Hero rather than the derogatory Heroine, milk moustache, and pet zebra in the movie Racing Stripes.<br />
is what I meant to say before.

Wife today, husbandette tomorrow... or something equally ridiculous.<br />
<br />
Way to go Vendetta! I'm just gonna take a stab in the dark and say you're both lucky as.

Yes, cheers to my unbelievably lucky wife. She is, after all, with me. <br />
<br />
I'll admit I'm lucky, too.

Yeah, drink milk and you'll get the body of young Heroine/Hero actress Hayden Panetierfsksrfgrrl!<br />
<br />
Cheers to milk? Cheers to you and your cool wife.

Here's one:<br />
<br />
http://kungfurodeo.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/08/hayden-got-milk.jpg<br />
<br />
She is my match in more than one way, and continues to be the only one who is my match in the way lilt meant :)

Maybe that's not what Lilt meant? Congratulations though. :)<br />
<br />
I've never seen one of those 'got milk' posters. Do they advertise milk? You could start a ***** advertising campaign. It would fit in nicely with the content of my spam email inbox I think, but I could picture it on a large billboard too.

met my match? I did that about 13 years ago. She's about 22 weeks pregnant with our first. <br />
<br />
But I won't deny that tearaway's got *****. That would make an interesting caption on those 'got milk?' posters.

Never thought about the actors/actresses thing much but the thing about not using the word mankind or chairman and so on gets on my nerves a bit. There is too much gender emphasis and it gets in the way of more important issues.

I want to hook you up with one of my sons, tearaway.<br />
So we can grow old together.

Wh-pshh! (onomatopoeic whip sound) :)

I think you have met your match, Vendetta.<br />
Tearaway is sharp as a whip....and she is younger and quicker.

Ha!<br />
Leave it to men to take everything personally!

Leave it to a woman to bring up "size"... How dare you! <br />
<br />

If we're thinking literally here I'd say is the word "man" is dimunitive because it's smaller (in letter size) than the word "woman", which has five letters....<br />
...but that's just being pedantic.

Maybe "woman" is diminutive too, since it's just a derivative of the much better word "man"... or then again maybe they're just words.

These feminine terms were used when women were not allowed into all professions, and were never ever expected to be full-time working professionals. The diminutive feminine form was used as a way of differentiating the full-time, professional (the man) from the frivolous part-time amateur (woman) and they were and to some extent still are terms that belittle. Women are still paid less then men for the same work, and people still expect men to be the actual professional. <br />
<br />
I understand completely why some women eschew them.

When you win an oscar, make sure to give a speech about how you are an actress and not an actor, and that the word actress shouldn't be shunned.

I think it's just another example of political correctness gone mad. <br />
When I was a waitress it was just a job title to me, and I didn't find it any more degrading than 'waiter'. Certainly the pay wasn't better, and that's all I gave a damn about in that place. I'm not annoyed by it, but I think we can be 'equal' without being called waiters. <br />
I think there are more important things going on than worrying about whether or not your job ends in 'ress'. <br />
And I agree that it's only derogatory because we're implying it is.<br />
<br />
Not a waitress/waiter anymore though, so I won't have to worry too much about this little naming problem til my acting dream takes off... then I'll start having the issues,<br />

I don't really care one way or the other. I'll address people however they want me to. However, I have seen some people take to far. My philosophy teacher was too anal about gender neutral terms. She would actually penalize papers that used words like man and mankind. Which was ridiculous because we were studying ancient philosophy and those are the terms that Aristotle and Plato used. They didn't believe in gender neutrality so to change those words is a misrepresentation of their views.

haha, that's funny. The Doors were right, People are Strange.

How insulting! Feminine words=bad <br />
<br />

You ARE NOT alone on this!! PC in America has gone WAY overboard. Period. Women wear dresses and bras, men wear condoms and jockstraps. Soon - are we just going to drop the WO in WOMAN and just refer to all as MAN?? NO WAY -- we fought too hard to be separate to now be grouped BACK together. Yep - that's my story - sticking to it (and I am DAMN glad I don't have to wear a condom - no clue where I would put it ..hmmm)

LOL pixelita!! <br />
you are absolutely right <br />
i don't want to be a man so i think i'll stick with my feminine versions of things

I used to be a waitress and never gave it a second thought...<br />
<br />
The only way women feel oppressed is when they "let" themselves feel that way. Men don't know it, but we actually run the world anyway :-) hehehe!

You're right whuttup. I mean, it's not meant to be degrading or whatever, it's proper English grammar! People can really be so defensive about the most trivial things. I could see people getting mad if you went in the restaurant and smacked the waitress on the a** and demanded, "Go get my food woman!"<br />
<br />
But I would not find it insulting if someone called me a waitress if I was waiting tables, because that is simply the use of proper vocabulary.

Silly woman, how dare you for not feeling oppressed by feminine words.

maybe I’m silly but what I’m called doesn't bother me, as long as I am paid according to my experience and not because of my gender I don’t care if I am a waitress or waiter or doctor or doctress. I like being a misses will I soon be called mister so as not to offend anyone with a women's title?

Yes, they are letter carriers. I'm simply saying its too bad that a female letter carrier feels ashamed about calling herself a "mail woman". Although that does get a little confusing, since you can't hear the difference between "mail" and "male". "mail woman" comes out sounding like she's a hermaphrodite. <br />
<br />
"firefighters" is fine, except for the fact that most people associate the term "firefighters" with smoke jumpers who fight forest fires, not the johnny on the spot beaus that rescue cats from trees. <br />
<br />
And no, I don't refer to female doctors as doctresses or any other examples you refer to. I just think it's unfortunate that women have seemingly acknowledged that a feminine title is somehow "less" than a masculine version of the same title.

So they must have succeeded in infusing enough shame and ridicule into the term "actress". I wonder how actresses (oops, female actors) of past generations felt about this. <br />
<br />
I wonder if this has spilled over into other languages, such as French or Spanish which have masculine and feminine denotations of words. Perhaps foreign women are uniting to reject any nouns which denote gender, since they must by their very nature be diminutive. <br />
<br />
I think people are conflating words like "actress" with instances where we can see actual exclusion, such as "one man one vote" changing to "one person one vote". <br />
I'm not always for changing "man" to "person", though. Sometimes it's just silly. Are we no longer able to say "fireman" because one might be female, so we must refer to them as "fireperson" or "firepeople"? Is that better and less insulting than to call them "fireman" and "firewoman?" <br />
<br />
And what about "mailman?" That term sounds redundant (malemale lol). No more mailmen, they're all letter carriers...

I can speak "as a woman"... I do know what idea you are trying to convey whuttup... I see both sides here...<br />
<br />
I agree with Somewhatbent when says "a 'waiter' waits, and an 'actor' acts, regardless of gender"...<br />
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BUT...I think it gets a little ridiculous that we now refer to a chairman as a "chair" because of the word "man" ...or complaining over the word "mankind"... that's just silly :-)

Just don't call her "Madam Speakerette."

Well if we view it as shameful, then it becomes so. Are you saying that it is demeaning to designate a woman holding an office as opposed to a man? I see it the same as "Mr." and "Mrs." <br />
<br />
How about Nancy Pelosi. They refer to her as "Madame Speaker". Should that be changed?

I'm all for equal rights between men and women, and as you can see from my other story on the genders, I'm no fan of men as a group. <br />
<br />
However, I find it annoying that women don't even realize that they are kicking themselves in the shin by trying to adopt male specific terms. THEY are the ones implying that there is something diminutive or condescending about a word that ends in "tress" instead of "tor". There is no shame in denoting a female, aside from the shame that the female imagines is there.