If You're Looking For Help, Real Help...

I thought I would throw my 2 cents in. I found a book, after attending therapy and 12 step meetings and finding they don't work (well, therapy can work, but 12 step definitely didn't) because I still wanted to act out, I still felt ****** about myself and my life and I still felt helpless and powerless and awful. So I found this book in my desperate search for a real solution and it is amazing. The book I first read was called "The Heart of Addiction" by Lance Dodes. Now, the first book is just kind of an overview of a new way of looking at compulsions. His second book, "Breaking Addiction" is a guide to eliminating your addictions and compulsions. After working this method, I have found peace, true peace, and I didn't have to change every aspect of my life like the 12 step groups think you have to do. And I didn't have to shame myself into not acting out like these therapists like to do. The book helped me find the underlying cause of my compulsion and gave me the tools to excise it. Now I feel confident, free, and like myself. It's awesome.

Either book is good to start with. They are both full of case examples. The second one, "Breaking Addiction" is more directly about helping yourself, so I would actually recommend it, but it really doesn't matter where you start.

ED is a compulsion. It is part of a natural reaction to overwhelming feelings of anxiety and helplessness. We feel these feelings and feel trapped in them and the situation that caused them. The trap situation is different for each of us. But our reactions are very similar. We enter a situation, we feel trapped, helpless, like we have no options, and we react with rage. Then...using that rage, we act out compulsively. The reason we act out is because it makes us feel in control again and makes us feel free of the trap, emotionally. What we learn with this method is to recognize the situations that cause these feelings of helplessness and learn to take direct action instead of displacing it into compulsive behavior. Follow me? You learn to see the trap coming and take an action that will make you feel in control before we lose control. We become free. This fits every lifestyle. It's hard to see the trap situation at first. It took me a lot of journaling about situations that make me feel helpless to uncover the exact source and shape of my trap. It had a lot to do with my mother and what she taught me about who I am, how I'm stupid and not capable of doing anything right. Even though I knew consciously that I was capable and smart, I believed emotionally that every time something new came along I was going to screw it up. So every time things got ambiguous I would panic, go into my trap, lose sight of the options, and only want to act out. But not anymore. I've worked it out and slipped the trap and don't need to act out. That's so ******* awesome!

So yeah, msg me if you have any questions, or just buy the book. Either way, good luck.
missingmoment missingmoment
1 Response Apr 13, 2011

Thanks, yeah. I just want to tell everyone, compulsions are now a choice! I started a general addiction support group ba<x>sed around these books in my local area. And this is posted in another larger group. :)