Can't Get Thin Enough.....

I am an anorexic, and I have been for a long time. It usually never sticks. It will last for a few weeks and then I get to hungry or I have to give in and eat so someone doesn't notice and then I return to my eating habits. and then I go back to not eating and so forth. The longest it lasted was about 3weeks. I lost 12lbs and was so happy. I currently am at a stand still and can't stand it. My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful but I'm never happy with myself and I never will be until I'm thin.
Gisbon Gisbon
26-30
1 Response Aug 4, 2010

i'm sorry you have to struggle so much, life is hard and stressful enough as it is. Food is truly a drug, the so called normal eaters have no idea how emotionally bound they really are to food until something disrupts their happy lives and they have to change their eating habits. scientists have said food addiction is worse than cocaine, and don't forget, the worst part is not the part where you try to quit. staying on cocaine, getting your fill, is just as devestating as the withdrawls of trying to quit, you lose if you do, you lose if you dont. and both can kill. it's ironic that people focus on the death that occurs when you go without food, because i like to dwell on the death that occurs if you keep eating food lol. all i can say is that your struggle brings a tear to my eye, i'm rooting for your team and hope that you get through this like a champion and just hang in there and keep doing your best like you've been doing. i hope you're not judging yourself and are loving yourself and life and try to remember the good in the world. every rose has its thorn. the days you don't eat might be just as much a thorn as the days you do eat. our metabolism is not what sucks, don't blame yourself and your body, blame the crap that is in our food. did you know that plants have moderators in them, chemicals that tell your brain to balance your hunger and feelings? but look at what you're eating, any plants found in most of your food has been cooked and processed until there are no living nutrients and moderators in your food. only toxic burned elements are left, which really screw up your system a lot more than anybody will tell us, because the only people who know that fact are making trillions of dollars and will never let you know this truth. i don't know why i just told you, maybe because they didn't share any of their money with me because i didn't go to medical school :) hang in there yasmin11b! you will survive and get through it and look back someday and realize that nothing changed, you didn't overcome, you didn't die, and wonder then why you worried so much about it. it's because of the people around you, either they're bothered by it, or you're imagining that they are. anorexia is a part of nature, the stress is caused by humans. tell them to get over it. and you will to. follow your heart. don't let external forces tell you how to live your life and eat and not eat. if you want to not eat, and still be health, check out the first five paragraphs of this interesting site: www.healthya.webs.com everthing i've said should be considered opinion, i'm not a professional. have a fruitful week!