Need a budy to talk to,

I hate myself so much and I use to over eat. I weighed 140 which was bad!!! Being 14, and ALL the other girls were twigs! I hated myself so much I kept eating, got up to 150! I resized I had to do something or I'd become mss taxis, so I started off with a healthy diet and work out routine. Lost weight over about a year and got to 130. I was still fat, you can't lie about that. I kept going a little harder. I got to 120, then that was the bottom for that diet plan. So I did a 14 day starvation and got to about 110. Later I went back up to 115. I hated it, my thighs jiggled horrible!!! They still do, so I kept starving myself. It was a sort if on off thing. A few days of nothing, a few days of eating just some breakfast. It felt good to have a empty flat stomach and I like being able to feel my hip bone. I also think it's beautiful to be able to see your ribs. I was just getting to that point, and I acculy loved myself. For the first time in my life I looked in the mirror and saw someone I loved, but my legs still weren't skinny enough. They're still freaking tree trunks. Going up and down, my goal is 80 lbs. I got to 95, then I started failing. I've been over eating for a full week now. I now weigh 103 and I hate my huge stomach! I'm so fat! But I have to do this for at least another week. Just one more week because I have a doctor appointment, last time my mom saw my weight it was 100.2 and she said I needed to be at least 115. So I have to gain so weight. About 105 or 107. Give the illusion that I'm gaining weight, then once that's done I'll be starving myself more. I'm also useing this time to build muscle so I'll be able to burn more calories faster. Then I'll be starting my starvation diet again. I just now am over eating again and I can't stop. It's just the chocolate and peanut-butter I fall victim to. I eat a whole chocolate bar, with a ton of peanut butter on it a day for 3 days now. I need help to beat cravings and talking helps the most. Also I need tips for how to fake eat. I can fake eat a sandwich but more soupy foods is much harder to do. Also my mom wants to sit with me when I eat more often now. It makes it's so much harder.  I need a buddy, to exchange ideas, plans, tips, and advise. I also text, please, I need someone who I can talk to and who will understand me. 
Libby2999 Libby2999
13-15, F
6 Responses Aug 8, 2010

omg totally understandd, i hate when my mom startss getting suspicioouss! and i really need some advice on how to get out of family dinners, i usually just eat relly slow and only a little bit. I'm going to start a diett, and only eat breakfast and a little dinner along with excercise. I did tht before and lost a pound a day for a week. =]] my goal weight is 100 and then if i still dont like how i look i'll loose more

i totally understand i wanna b 70lbs or something, we can give tips,i hate my body, and we can give starvation plans ect.

mm, definately in the same boat as you, my parents wont leave me alone :)<br />
love to help & exchange<br />
anothercheapshot@hotmail.com

Email me at kimberly_campbell007@yahoo.com we can be good buddies

and mines hitchhiker6969@gmail.com :D

hey i'd love to talk to you! i've been looking for a buddy too. message me or something(: