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We Have A Serious Problem. . . A Must Read


There seems to be a growing trend with these postings on this group looking for ana buddies. Lets address this issue. 

 

Ana buddies is an oxy-moron. Buddies, or friends, don't encourage each other to destroy their health and injure their bodies. Real friends encourage you to get help for yourself, they remind you that you're human and imperfect and that is perfectly okay. Real friends don't encourage you to hurt yourself. A real friend would be horrified at the thought that someone else was suffering, especially if they themselves suffer. The concept of such a thing, an ana buddy, is dangerous and absurd. It is also against the EP community guidelines and it is not acceptable! 

 

If you want to lose weight, for health reasons, consult a nutritionist, your local doctor, and a fitness trainer. They can help to give you the tools you need to achieve your goals in a realistic time frame and in a healthy way. 

 

 

I have had anorexia for most of my life. Lord knows, i've suffered. I've seen people die and i've seen people so emaciated that they looked as if they were auditioning for a role in some film about the holocaust. It's sad, and its real. I know that anyone who is suffering with anorexia or anyone who has suffered in the past would not encourage these Ana-Buddy relationships. I don't mean to say that anorexia should be a solitary battle, friendship is an important aspect in mental health and having friends that understand your anguish is invaluable. However, a friend that understands would not encourage you to harm your body. They may be there to say, 'I understand what you're going through,' or to say, 'i've been there myself, *hugs*', but a real friend--a real buddy that understands anorexia first hand would never encourage anyone else to binge, starve, or self-harm. 

 

I've started going through the boards and flagging every post that is inappropriate. 

FLAG, ADULT.

 

* EP,

As stated in your community guide lines: there are to be no pro-ana groups. Although this group is not pro ana, many of the users posting on these boards are contributing to a pro-ana environment here on EP. (This particular user is under age and is endangering themselves by posting an ad for an ana buddy on EP).

 

"No Child Harm Groups: Topics advocating ideas that have been shown to be directed to, or directly harmful to, children are not allowed and will be removed when they are reported (e.g., pro-anorexia groups)."
*

 

 

I think this group is valuable and should exist. However, currently, it is operating largely against the community standards set fourth by EP. We need to be more responsible as a community and take a stand. Please, help us clean up these boards by flagging posts that are against the community standards of EP. Children and users under 18, it is against the community standards to post anything that contributes to the pro-ana movement.

takethesebrokenwings takethesebrokenwings 22-25, F 6 Responses Sep 13, 2010

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Well maybe that's all people want. Not someone to encourage, but someone to talk to who understands. <br />
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I just dislike preaching in general and trying to go around the net policing people. It's not your place.

"I just dislike preaching in general and trying to go around the net policing people. It's not your place."

Sounds like preaching to me ;)

Takethesebrokenwings, how about you not worry about what others do if it is not hurting anyone but themselves. Don't be a FASCIST ***** and let people live their lives. Freedom is the ability to do as you please as long as you are not infringing on the rights of others.

...and BTW, just because someone's actions are against the TOS of a site does not:
1) make it illegal
2)make it your business unless it is your site (I'm guessing it isn't)

You really need to take a step back and realize that the earth does not revolve around you and your idea of what should and shouldn't be.

Additionally, this site does not verify email accounts. There is no way to enforce your authoritarian ideals.

destiney, I sympathize with your frustration. I have experienced that same feeling at times while dealing with EP issues. The best advice I can give is to act as a moderator. Be a responsible EP user and REPORT any and all violations that are against the Community Standards set fourth by EP. We all must contribute to make the Experience Project successful. This concept of community should not shut down when it comes to unruly users or those that are misusing EP. <br />
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commongroundseekr, It is possible that she may have developed a fear or distain for food. Try making foods that she does like available to her. Introducing foods in a fun way can also spark some enjoyment for food. Try doing theme nights for dinner. Read her a bedtime story about someone from another culture. The next day try making a dish or a few dishes from that culture for your child to try. This might help, or it might not. Sometimes kids go through fazes too... Since you are her parent and you are expressing concern, i'm going to assume that there is an issue there though, so taking your daughter to a doctor is a really good idea. Sometimes when kids don't eat it is because they have pain when they do eat. It might be a stomach, throat, or bowel issue. She might have an improper bite, cavities, or a jaw that doesn't open as fully as it should. All of these conditions can cause a child to avoid eating. She also may have an underlaying food allergy that causes her discomfort or she may even have celiac disease. Celiac disease is a common condition that can cause children fall into the lowest percentiles. <br />
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I hope your daughter does not have anorexia, as it is a hard battle, and it is something that sicks with a person for their lifetime. It is incredibly difficult on the entire family unit... If she does have anorexia you may want to get her treatment quickly. Things can escalate from bad to worse in weeks. TV, certain magazines, some books, and even the internet can be dangerous for children to have access to. Some kids are very sensitive and they pick up on subtle nuances that other kids would overlook. They may see a beautiful thin girl who has money in a commercial who is very happy with her life and then a contrasted scenario of a woman who is overweight, in debt and miserable. The commercial could be about debt solutions. The child could take away from the commercial that if you are overweight you will be poor and miserable, but if you are thin your life will be perfect. Your daughter could overhear kids teasing each other or gossiping about other classmates and if these kids are using words like 'fat' and 'ugly' then your daughter could have developed an arguably rational fear of becoming overweight. There could be many reasons psychologically speaking why your daughter may have issues surrounding food. Your best bet is to keep being there to love her and try to figure out what the root of the problem is. If you find where this problem developed you are more likely able to address the issue and find a solution. <br />
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Good luck with your daughter, PM me if you have any questions, need advice, or just need someone to talk to. <br />
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Thank you all for your input, support, ideas and suggestions!

Takethesebrokenwings, how about you not worry about what others do if it is not hurting anyone but themselves. Don't be a FASCIST ***** and let people live their lives. Freedom is the ability to do as you please as long as you are not infringing on the rights of others.

...and BTW, just because someone's actions are against the TOS of a site does not:
1) make it illegal
2)make it your business unless it is your site (I'm guessing it isn't)

You really need to take a step back and realize that the earth does not revolve around you and your idea of what should and shouldn't be.

Additionally, this site does not verify email accounts. There is no way to enforce your authoritarian ideals.

My 6 year old daughter is very skinny where i question if she could be anarexic sp? And i would be completely be upset if she were to have someone encourage her not to eat, we have to spoon feed her just to make her eat half of what the rest of my children eat. I am going to take her to the doctor here pretty soon to figure out why she has no appitite and is so skinny. Shes only six! And i'm scared. I am very proud of you takethesebrokenwings for standing up for what is right! Because bad things happen when good people sit back and do nothing. So you have my support good for you and i hope these people get the support they need rather then the encouragement to destroy themselves.

I am not anorexic but stumbled onto this story. I don't know this particular pain but I am here to tell you, I am definitely one of those that do not believe this terrible disorder is terrible. To make one reply to so many I say: thank you all for caring enough to stand up against the disorder and Ana pals here. And commongroundseekr, don't give up on your baby. It likely isn't anorexia but nailing down the why and healing it will be so much easier if done while so young so good luck!

((((((((( HUGS takethesebrokenwings and amysangels )))))))))))<br />
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TTBW, thank you for posting this story.<br />
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And thank you, amysangels, beloved daughter, for your comment, which was very wise. Nobody looking for an ANA buddy wants to cause harm, but the reality is that it is confusing for anybody who is trying so hard to stop. <br />
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Love,<br />
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Andrew

I agree yasmin, we shouldn't take over this group and adopt a policy of censorship. We should be responsible members of a community and post appropriately according to EP's Community Standards. It is a violation of the Community Standards set fourth by EP to have children (under 18, or 21, respectively) posting in regard to the pro-ana movement. Extending a hand and offering to be a purge buddy, or a calorie calculator, or even to help act as a means of motivation for children is WRONG. Adults engage in all sorts of unhealthy behaviors, and thats bad enough, but we need to protect our children who are unable or unwilling to protect themselves. We have a responsibility as a community and we have a responsibility to EP.

JulietStone, for starters I would like to remind you that name calling/cussing at someone over the internet is absolutely absurd. It also happens to go against the community standards of EP!

I am a part of the EP community. I respect the integrity and values of the experience project and I will uphold the community standards. 1) I never stated that promoting self harm was illegal 2) EP is my community, so it is in fact my business. If you don't like the standards of this site, move on. I didn't create the community standards, you give me too much credit ;) !

yasmin idk if u r pro-ana but iknow ana isn lifestyle n no choice .though iknow whats like to want someone to understan but when u see these ppl askin ana buddy usay they understand but truth is thats confusing in mind.u tell takethesebrokenwings to ''just leave it be'' coz u don want this tostop,yeah?.idk what i reallywant but iknow i don want this to happen toanyone else.<br />
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takethesebrokenwings,imglad ur myfriend.