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Please Help.

ok so I'm 16, weigh 50kg, and am about 5.3. I have never been a big eater and for the past few years have not eaten the amount that I should. I no longer eat breakfast or lunch but only dinner because I have to. mum has recently made me start eating breakfast which I hate so I felt as if I had to throw it up. in the past few days I have only just started making myself sick and I feel as if I have to do it to feel good about myself. I know it is the wrong thing to do and I'm trying to help myself before it gets worse. my sister who is 3 years older then me is much smaller then me so I'm like the fat one and I hate it. I feel as if I have to be smaller then her. I'm not even sure if I have an eating disorder at all. I just want to be happy with myself. when I made myself sick I knew it was really wrong and I started crying, but yet I continued and for the last few days all i can think about is what am i going to eat and where and when can i throw up without anyone knowing what is wrong with me, please help.
melllry melllry 16-17 4 Responses Feb 22, 2011

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...and I like you too! :D I don't know anyone who's suffering from something like this, you guys are the closest to it...I'd much rather talk to you about it all, especially after the day I've had. <3

^ i like this person:)

Girl...you speak my heart. I know it's wrong but I can't stop. I don't want to eat, and I take pride in only eating one thing before dinner (I have to eat dinner because of my family too). <br />
I always feel sick after I've eaten, but luckily for me and my teeth I have a VERY strong stomach and find it REALLY hard to make myself sick...I've given up with that idea.<br />
I'm probably not helping, but I do want you to know one thing... A lot of people have ED like us, ranging from minor to major, but a majority of the time it stems from a sense of control. <br />
I've got NO control over my life at the moment, everything's planned out in front of me and I can't avoid it...but I CAN avoid food; I makes me feel human to feel hunger. I makes me happy to feel empty. I love having a flat stomach. It's a kind of pain that I can control; I've had so much pain trusted in my face that it's nice to let the pain out through hunger (or physical pain). <br />
I'm not encouraging it at all. I want to it to stop....well I say I do, but I just can't seem to do it alone. But maybe it's just nice to know you're not alone...maybe you'll see this and think, "I am beautiful really, because I've helped this girl see the truth"...because you have. I'm not alone, I know why I'm like this and I know what I have to do.<br />
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I'm seeing my doctor on Monday about counseling; it might help to talk rather than starve.<br />
<br />
Maybe you should do it too. It's confidential, no one other than you, your doctor and the counselor have to know.<br />
<br />
Be beautiful again, get help. Beauty comes from accepting that no one person can live a lone life, we need other people to survive emotionally and physically.<br />
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Maybe this essay won't help at all. But just know that for making me see the truth....I love you.

did u know u burn 1,000 caloires a day just doing nothing at all?.go see a doctor school nurse ur way to oung u wont get peroids ull faint n probs die.Get help please.n + cos ur so young ur heart isnt able to handle u throwing up do it anothe 2 times girl i garentee ull have a heart attac k n drop dead.