Male Anorexia Story

Hi everyone, my name is Jimmy, I'm a 22 year old male from New York City, and I am a recovering anorexic. Growing up i was always a very happy, athletic, big strong kid, when i was born i weighed 9 pounds and 12 ounces which is big. I played alot of sports, like football, hockey, baseball, and basketball, and up until I was in highschool had no problems like this. Throughout highschool i played alot of football and put on alot of weight. Looking back, irt wasnt much, but at the time i thought it was. I also had really bad acne, which developed into a lymph node infection that made me very very self conscious about my appearance, especially when the acne hit. Even though i wasnt overweight, i looked fat because of the swollen lymph nodes. I was always very athletic and active, my favorite thing to do was skateboard. So as the time went by I started losing weight by fasting and eating certain foods, and restricting my intake, at first it wasnt that bad. But my senior year it got out of hand, I became socially withdrawn, and started not taking care of myself, I went 6 months restricting my intake, and went almost 3 MONTHS WITHOUT EATING ANYTHING,at my worst i was about 118 pounds about 120 pounds underweight i lay in bed all day, one time i went to take a shower and i blacked out and woke up in a pool of my own blood on the bathroom floor, I WAS NEVER HOSPITALIZED FOR EATING DISORDERS, the one time they tried to intervene before it got bad, i ran away from the emergency room, my own self rightous qualities turned into my enemy when these bad habits got out of control. Another thing I struggled with on top of this ws being obsessed with eating healthy my body was craving food and i was still thinking i had to eat only fruits and salads, I was severly sick, To this day i rember the day I was sitting in my basement, and I realized thart if I didnt start eating I WAS GOING TO DIE, so i ate, and i ate and i ate, and eventually i gained wieght back, But the thing that was damged most was my self esteem, my mental health and my body. FOR the next couple years i was in and out of psychiatric hospitals, and went through some really rough times. I just was released from a 7 month stay at a psychiatric ward the other day. I feel like i ruined my life.
queensfilmer queensfilmer
2 Responses Sep 29, 2011

You're very brave to share this story. I'm glad you managed to save yourself before it was too late, not many people can achieve that kind of clarity.