Is It Bad?

Hello everyone.... I'm new to this site and I guess I'll make it short and sweet.
I'm NOT anorexic. But I feel like I should be, or need to be.

Before I had my son I didn't know my weight but I'm guessing I was around 135ish, at 5'3, and was a size 7. I look back on my senior year of spring break, and I thought I was fat before, but now that I had my son and it's 14 months PP, I know I want that weight, size everything back. I'm 160, 5'3 and trying to do it all. I eat healthy, I go to school part time, and work part time while trying to take care of my son. Mind you I'm only 19 years old and I'll be 20 this month. I would've thought that having a toddler I would be losing weight by running around and doing things with him, but no. I feel like I'm depressed and that there really isn't anyone out there to help me.

I just started a banking job as a teller, and I get benefits even though I'm part time. I think I'm going to try to find a psychiatrist, and talk to someone only because I don't know how to deal with life and myself sometimes. I always get over whelmed with my son when he cries, I mean I don't have a fit but mentally I just want to give up. And I shouldn't feel like that being I'm doing all the right things that I need to be doing.

Everyone says love yourself for who you are, and the body that you have. and that everyone's beautiful.
Ok, that's bullshit. Any single mother knows that especially if you have kids it's harder to get a date, or talk to men, because of your child(ren). Guys want skinny girls. Not fat or chunky girls. I'm NOT going to be that girl that is bigger then her boyfriend. I'm not looking to date right now because I'm going through court with my ex, and trying to get everything finalized with him, and trying to move on with my son and my life that I don't have time for anything else (hence not going to the gym, it's too hard and with no babysitter its impossible).

Is it bad that I WANT to be anorexic? :/
Especially with this birth control ....I can NOT seem to lose any weight. :( Help.....
MsKelly0210 MsKelly0210
18-21, F
1 Response May 5, 2012

Okay, so I've been reading around, and I guess I just need motivation and help with this dieting and stuff.... but I honestly, worked out 3 times a week after I had my son, and now I eat healthy but it's doing NOTHING.<br />
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The way I can tell if something is happening is if I fit into my smaller pants.... :(<br />
I'm up to a size 12-14... I hate this. Idk what to do....