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A Disappointment

I was born in Sofia, Bulgaria. My dad had left my mum while she was pregnant so my mum had to look after me and my older sister. We were quite poor, and I think that that contributed to the fact that I have an eating disorder. We never had enough food, so sometimes I would go a day or two without food. But when I was 9, my mum got a job in England so were moved there. A year after we arrived my older sister, Anna, who was 16 at the time, got pregnant, and decided not to have an abortion. My mum hated her and ignored her for the next few years. She didn't look after the baby, so when Anna was at school, our mum just left her grandson alone. Eventually, my nephew died, because of neglect from our mum. My sister moved with her boyfriend to London to get away from my mum. So my mum focused all of her attention on me, giving me unrealistic expectations. I didn't want to disapoint her so I tried so hard to gedt good marks, studying all evening and lunch, missing out on food. When I was 12, I started gymnastics and swimming. I did one of the two every night, and I tried so hard to be the best I could at those things that I ignored my hunger. On my 13th birthday my mum took me to a gymnastics competition, and on that day, during my beam routine, and collapsed, fell off the beam, and broke my arm. My heart almost gave out and I was in a coma for 2 months. When I woke up I didn't know where I was, but Anna was by the bed, crying. She told me that our mother had killed herself because both her daughters were sduch disapointments. Now, aged 14, I live with my sister and her boyfriend, now husband. I still have anorexia, I know that, but I don't want to get better as I know that getting better won't bring my mum back.
Katerina1490 Katerina1490 13-15 1 Response May 29, 2012

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I'm soooo sorry:/ this made me cry. God Bless you. I hope you can get over this.... Message me if you ever need a friend.