My Anorexic Life

Hi. My name is Kristen. I am anorexic. I used to live with my mom then decided to move with my dad. Bad choice. (i now live with mom again). While I lived with dad and Maci(stepmom) my life sucked. I was physically and mentally abused. Maci was really mean and dad beleived her over me... Of course. My school also sucked. People were calling me fat and threatening to kill me. I started self harm by cutting my wrists, forearms, and thighs. I would even do it at school im the bathroom. My grades were crap also. I developed depression, anxiety, bulimia, and anorexia as well. Now i only struggle with anorexia. I was taken to the hospital and had to stay for a week. I know see a counselor every week. She doesnt know about my ED and she wont for a long time, i hope. Everyday feels like crap. Qll i think about 24/7 is food, calories, and hunger pains. I eat 400-500 calories a day.... On a good day. I also busy myselfnwith running, karate, lyrical, tap, and jazz. For now its a secret. I plan to keep it this way, at least for a while. Ana, is my best friend. For now i am still anorexic.... Hopefully one day i will win against Ana. Thank you for reading my story.
-Kristen
DemiLovato4Life DemiLovato4Life
13-15, F
2 Responses Dec 12, 2012

Sending you love and encouragement to be honest as you can - please read my story - I thought A was my friend - only to find out - that was a lie (for me - my experience).

I am so sorry to hear about your abusive step-mother - I worked with many clients - have seen this way too much, a very sad and very real problem in America.

I can totally relate - my parents (both) were horribly abusive, (physically and emotional ) and neglectful. But I made it - I made it in spite of those bastards and by me living well - it was the best revenge against my parents....who both are now deceased since they didn't take care of themselves - ie: rough living.

Have you ever though what makes you really happy when consuming 400-500 calories? Have you ever though what is this calories **** that everyone talks about? It is energy. Everything has energy. There is no standard in ( i have to eat 200 calories per day). You consume energy every second you breathe. What do you think happens when the other day comes? calories suddenly falling to zero so you can have 500 and wait again until tomorrow? The fact that you do not function properly and that you are dying doesn't matter to you? I feel awful when thinking that I have not my period and produces so much damage to my bones. When you'll reach your 30's (if you are still alive) you will not be able to reach your hand for something and not feel pain or bending,walking etc. You'll also have elder-like skin and believe me you are going to be much more ugly than you thought that you used to be. Why should you destroy yourself due to other's opinion? People are mean, always hostile to what they can't have or jealous of. It's a simple defense mechanism. Do not treat yourself worse than they did to you. You do not deserve this. Remember always: We are all alone. The only person that we actually have is ourselves. Don't kill the only person that is always there for you. You'll regret this.