Well, Where Do I Start?

I'm sure you've heard it all before, and my story isent that different then all other lovley people who struggle with eating dissorders. So where do I start? ... Aah here we go:
Once upon a time there was a smiling child, she had blonde locks, and lightly sunburned cheeks. She had freckles splattered across her face, and big wide grey eyes. One night, the little girl was a family dinner, and she stuffed herself. When she went to bed that night, a nagging feeling was eating the back of her mind. For some reason, she felt bad about herself, and ashamed about having put so much on her plate. That's how it all started. You probably will already have guessed this, but that little girl, soacked in summer sun, and laughter and happinedd, was me. Now, she is 15. When she looks at herself in the mirror, what she sees in pale skin, dark eyed, and scarred wrists. Yeah I know, sounds kinda dark and twised dosent it? Well, not all farytales end with a happily ever after. Especialy not mine. I can't stop anymore. I'm so hungry, its actualy driving me crazy. And I can't stop cutting myself. I feel like with every passing day, I'm dissapearing. I'm falling, falling and falling, and I just can't stop. Everything arround me is a blurr. I can't tell the difference between dream and reality anymore, I can't tell happiness from sadness. I'm trying to take all the ****** up thoughts in my head, and to turn them into beautiful words. But that's not working, because doing that takes a lot of patience, of creativity and of thinking. And I can't do any of that right now, so I'm here, writing down all my stupid feelings, not in a poem, not in a poetic way, not in any beautiful way, because that's just the best I can do right now to keep me from throwing myself out the window. Xxx take care
Shadowofyou Shadowofyou
13-15, F
3 Responses Jan 23, 2013

You are a very strong woman. I won't tell you to be proud of how you look or who you are because if I were you I wouldn't want to hear it. But I will say that even if you don't think so throwing yourself out the window...or shredding you're arms would mean ruining a perfect soul. Maybe not confident or funny or suppermodel-good-looking but a person who has potential. A person I would be happy to meet.

Friend me. Stay strong. Smile a little you've made it this far. :)

thanks hun xx

I'm in the same boat. 15. I'm anorexic. I want to cut but am trying to keep myself away. If you wanna talk inbox me.

okay thanks xx

I know how you feel

message me anytime hun xx