Terrible Illness

i am 23 years old and i have anorexia nervosa, and most recently bulimia. i have had anorexia for four years, and i have been hospitalized for it. right now i weigh 85 pounds and i have trouble going to sleep because im constantly afraid of dying. i feel like if im awake i will be able to seek medical attention.  im wondering if anyone else has this fear?  anyway, my advice to people out there is to never get caught in the trap of an eating disorder, if possible. even if you are curious, or think it is cool to starve yourself to lose weight, you are wrong. the effects of this disorder are horrible.  i feel i will never be the same.

once there was a girl who came across a river.  she noticed the river was not too deep, so she decided to cross.  she thought she could handle one small river, but without warning, it grew deeper, swifter, fiercer.  it swept her away, because she was unaware of its strength. more importantly, she was unaware of her own weakness.

 

ashleyray123 ashleyray123
22-25
2 Responses Mar 5, 2009

Once I touched 85 (I'm 5'4) the same like u weight now~<BR>I felt like I was dying T_T .. I was so scare !<BR>Finally I've realized that I dont wanna die :3 & I know you feel the same :)

i felt like that. that my heart would stop again and I would stop breathing. (that happened twice before) and for atleast 2 years I was terrified to sleep. :( I'm sorry. I am so happy to see you are getting help. <br />
<br />
"once there was a girl who came across a river. she noticed the river was not too deep, so she decided to cross. she thought she could handle one small river, but without warning, it grew deeper, swifter, fiercer. it swept her away, because she was unaware of its strength. more importantly, she was unaware of her own weakness."<br />
did you write ^^^ it is beautiful. <br />
:) recovery is possible and life gets better in time i promise.