Love/hate This

I have been anorexic since I was 16, I'm now 22. I recovered for about 2 years, but now it's worse than ever. It's all I think about. It never goes away. It scares me so much sometimes. I don't want this to kill me, but I can't let thst number on the scale go up. I won't let it happen. Sometimes I will be so happy, just doing normal things then the hunger hits and I'm miserable. i know this all sounds so dark and I'm really not a dark person, this is just the dark side of me. I don't want it to take over every part of me but I don't know how to stop it.

LightAsAFeather0 LightAsAFeather0
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 24, 2010

I can tend to forget it but it never goes away .. as they say, once you get it, you can never lose it .. I was recovered too and regret to be recovered .. I was dangerously thin last year but now Im not anymore .. I miss my body .. miss anorexia .. though I have it but im not strong as I was before recovery...