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I Find It Really Difficult To Make Friends! D:

I have got disability physically and sensory so I'm deaf and have physical problems but can walk. I am at college studying A levels but I find it so hard to make more friends or new friends and With my old school friends I find it hard to go out and I never get invited to parties!!!! I am shy and quiet which I don't think I can overcome as it is natural!!!! please help people!!!!!!
MilweePisces MilweePisces 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 6, 2010

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*hug*

really sorry to hear that. I really do hope you get those friends to make you smile. Everyone deserves them no matter our faults :)

*hug back* Thank you :) still searching!

may it be a short search :)

I related to every word of your story. Thanks for sharing.

ahh dont feel bad slowly you will find friends and dont feel bad on your dis ability im sure alot of things is there and just try to associated yourself with people so you will have friends just like here in ep.

Thank you :)

welcome and remember its only physical not your mind and still you can do alot of things right?

yeah :) but it is annoying that i can't do things due to physical disability

never get annoyed just be thankful somehow you can do other things people in bed cannot right so just find way to make it in positive approach so you will be happy and find it acceptable.

True true and well said! :) I am grateful that i can walk & talk etc so I do feel lucky :)

right and dont feel bad because you are much more lucky than other people you think worse i see much worse and i know it so im glad that your well .

yeah not so lucky as if i think back i really did have a hard life and still do but when I see people who are suffering more i do feel bad and when I see people who are physically fine I feel bad about me! lol

well just look the opposite way and you will know that somehow you are much luckier and you know what others maybe have all the abled body but inside they are rotten because they are addicts and all and have few more time in this world.

yeah i think it just my low self-esteem and lack of confident which is a problem also i worry about other people and what they see and think x

now that you know you will wake up tomorrow feeling much better,ok thanks and bye im going home now,i will talk to you tomorrow ok!

7 More Responses

I should write a book, "How to make friends"... I'm sure it's already been written. I've read a few of them and listened to some motivational tapes, but admit I'm still a klutz at it. I empathize with you because I too don't have any friends now, so by inference don't know how to make 'em. So what do I know? Only that you really can't "make" a friendship. It is not like a smoothie that you stir up in a blender.



First, your physical and sensory challenges are not an impediment. They are just part of who you are. Don't shy away from them. So first you have to like yourself - no more "I don't have any friends because I'm ________ (fill in the blank).". That is an excuse that lacks foundation.



Next, don't try to be someone's friend. Instead, just do something nice for them. Without liking yourself first, you will not be able to see what you could do that would be a nice gesture. Don't go overboard with the first step - just say "hello" when the time is right. Timing is everything, and you must take the steps in the right sequence and at the right pace. Someone, someday, who is worthy of your friendship will say "hello" back.



Me, I'm still struggling with the first step. As for shy and quiet, those are just labels for how you have acted so far. They are not a permanent tattoo on your personality. Learn some new skills, take the scary first step of doing something nice for another, and those labels will describe how you "used to be".

I should write a book, "How to make friends"... I'm sure it's already been written. I've read a few of them and listened to some motivational tapes, but admit I'm still a klutz at it. I empathize with you because I too don't have any friends now, so by inference don't know how to make 'em. So what do I know? Only that you really can't "make" a friendship. It is not like a smoothie that you stir up in a blender.



First, your physical and sensory challenges are not an impediment. They are just part of who you are. Don't shy away from them. So first you have to like yourself - no more "I don't have any friends because I'm ________ (fill in the blank).". That is an excuse that lacks foundation.



Next, don't try to be someone's friend. Instead, just do something nice for them. Without liking yourself first, you will not be able to see what you could do that would be a nice gesture. Don't go overboard with the first step - just say "hello" when the time is right. Timing is everything, and you must take the steps in the right sequence and at the right pace. Someone, someday, who is worthy of your friendship will say "hello" back.



Me, I'm still struggling with the first step. As for shy and quiet, those are just labels for how you have acted so far. They are not a permanent tattoo on your personality. Learn some new skills, take the scary first step of doing something nice for another, and those labels will describe how you "used to be".

Thank You! :D Are you a college student? what college do you go to? :)