I cannot explain the depths I go to, to be alone. Whenever I go out with friends that I don't see often, I automatically want to leave. It is just not fun to me. I love it when I am in a small gathering of very close friends and family, but not for too long. I also do not like staying out late. It gives me anxiety.
I will be fun and talk to people (not very much) and I will try to be nice for the night, but all in all I want to leave, to go to sleep. Doing fun things in the daytime is cool, with close friends and family. And I think tonight was worse because there were people who remind me of a time in my life I want to forget completly. I need a break. A break from planning events and actually going to them. No one can blame me for being a recluse. I've learned to be lonley.
Life can be lived, life can be loved... alone!
ISellCrackForTheCIA ISellCrackForTheCIA
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

Then stop going to outings and events with your friends. If you're a self proclaimed recluse then stop being a hypocrite and stay home to do as you do. As an antisocial individual, I can say that giving excuses to not go to events is fairly easy.

One thing I ABSOLUTLY LOVE about this site is the feed back of people. I think I wrote this post when I was in an overwhelmed state about that night because my sister invited my fathers childhood friends to this party. I felt really uncomfortable around them because they bring back memories of when I literally watched my father die, so... sorry for wanting to leave! :/ please don't comment on any experiences when you don't have any helpful advice you will give.