Seems the older I get the less I want to associate with other people. I've never been "social", never valued friendships or relationships. Life experience has proven that it's easier to not invest time or energy in endeavors that involve others. Plus I have trust issues. Sometimes my ways have been a detriment. This weekend my 13 yr old wanted me to go school shopping with her friend and her friend's mother and I just couldn't do it. When she posed the seemed like she was suggesting torture. A few weeks ago a "friend" wanted to go out over the weekend and I had an anxiety attack. No way would I be comfortable doing that. The last time I went anywhere with a friend or "the girls" was over 17 yrs ago. I just don't socialize. I feel extremely blessed because I have worked from home for 8 yrs, I dread going into the office once per month for staff meeting. It's physically and mentally draining to have to be around others. Some days I wonder if I could go out into the world on daily basis. I can honestly see myself never leaving the house once my kids are grown. Currently I only go out to grocery shop or attend their school functions. Sometimes I think I should be different but, when it comes right down to it....this is who I am and who I am becoming more and more. My kids and my dogs are all that I require to be content with life.
antidote4toxicity antidote4toxicity
46-50, F
Aug 17, 2014