Sixteen And Possibly Asexual.

First off I am glad to find that other people are in the same boat as me its very reassuring that things will work out okay. Well heres my story. I know I am only 16 so I am not going to say I know for sure that I am asexual but there is a very high change. I have done sexual things in the past, but its been about a year and a half since anything has happened. To be honest now doing anything sexual with a man or woman is very re pulsing to me the thought of it freaks me out. I want love and I want a relationship but I do not want the sexual part of it. I love dating, movies, cuddling, holding hands fine. Anything more no thank you. This has ruined a lot of relationships for me because guys obviously want to do sexual things and I wont partake and i'm not interested in the least. I always shy away or regret people when they try to touch me or make a move and they just dont understand. I've never told anyone about this because I just recently found out what asexual was. I could never decide if I was straight or bi and when I read about asexuality I was like that basically describes me. I find guys/girls attractive, but I am not attracted to them. I am not even sure if I know what being sexually attracted to someone is like. Weirdly enough I find master*bation okay and I am not sure why that is. I am extremely glad to have found this website because I have been wondering why I have not been able to gather myself to do physical things with people and why I was so turned off. I never ever have the desire to just even make out. It honestly just freaks me out. I dont know why things have changed for me to make me like this. And I dont know if there is a way to make this go away? But I really do want to get married and have a happy future with someone I love so this is actually very scary to me.

So if you have any advice or you can relate to this please leave a comment or message me. I would love to hear from you. Thanks!
thatgirl8567 thatgirl8567
18-21, F
5 Responses Aug 7, 2010

Your still very young (I know I hated to hear that when I was 16 so you may be able to work through this. If not & you truley are asexual do make sure you find a future mate who is the same way. There is a group here under "I live in a sexless marriage" who can tell you from personal experience how painful it is to be married to somebody who has no sexual desire when they do. <br />
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Many of them had husbands/wives who sprang this on them AFTER they were married. While dating they had sex & within a few years of marriage it stopped. This can be very painful to a man/woman. It makes them feel less human & like they are not desireable. But I am sure there are potential life mates who will share you feelings. If you are asexual there is nothing wrong with that. Just make sure you find somebody who shares your views. That way you CAN have a happy relationship. If they aren't that way it will cause many years of pain. Best of luck.

Jicragg its nice that I am not alone and thank you for all of your advice :)<br />
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foolsrushin-Once I for sure figure out what I want I will defenitly be up front about it all.

I would just ask that you are very up front with your future husband or wife about your feelings. I hope you find someone who shares the same feelings about sex. If you attempt to make it work with a sexual you are in for a future of pain.

Yeah thanks! Thats super good advice :)

Thanks its nice to know other people can relate :) <br />
Yeah I am just very unsure about everything at the moment so I am not even sure what I want.