When I was at school, I was always different to everybody else. I didn't grow and I didn't go through puberty. I was later found to have a brain tumour and this caused me to be asexual and I was told I would never be able to have children. I have no sexual feelings at all. People don't get it. They say that one day I will find a partner. No I won't - I am going to be alone all my life. I mean, it is unlikely that I will find a partner who doesn't want sex isn't it?
I was never bothered about the situation really until a few weeks ago. For many years, I have been caring for my mum who had lung disease but a few weeks ago, she died and now I feel really alone. I have 2 sisters but they have partners and families. The worst thing is, that people with partners and families just don't include me. I don't fit in because I am always on my own. Everybody seems to have somebody, whether it's a child or a partner or both but I am alone and always will be. In a way, I wish I was "normal" but in another way, I don't want to all of a sudden have sexual feelings after so long. People with partners have somebody to share the bills with and somebody to care about them, but now my mum has died I have nobody.
Not a lot is heard about asexuality in the press or on TV so people don't understand it. I wish more people understood because then perhaps I wouldn't feel so alone.