My Asexual Husband

I have recently after 3.5+ yrs of marriage found out my husband is asexual. He basically ignored all my advances and comeons for our whole relationship and i jusr recently found out he just is not interested in sex. We actually both found out together. Its still almost like a dream like its not real its just his way of not having to be with me cause hes repulsed by me. He says he was never interested even as a teen. How do i believe this? Any thought out there?
halfpint76 halfpint76
36-40, F
2 Responses Jul 4, 2012

My husband and I hadn't had sex in 45 years. The sex we had was short and quick, maybe 10 minutes.I never had a chance to try and seduce him because he moved him self to the ba<x>sement for all these years. I've been put aside, unloved, unwanted. I don't really know if I'm sexual or not, I'm not even sure I know what its all about. That was my only time to have sex. I still consider myself a virgin, even though I'm in my 60s. I'll never know about sex and intimacy.

You say you found out together. Possibly he never knew what the problem was until now? That's how it sounds from your story. So you can't resent him for something he just discovered about himself the other day.<br />
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The more interesting part of the story, to me, is why you married a man who ignored and resisted all your advances and come-ons for your entire relationship. What did you think would happen? Did you think he'd change into a different kind of person?<br />
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Some people are interested in sex, and some aren't. This only becomes a problem when you have a mixed marriage (one sexual, one not). He might love you very much, regardless. Can you live with that, or are you planning to leave him?