I'm An Asexual Pervert.

I think it's safe to call myself asexual. I do not understand lust at all, but it's symbolic to me. I've had sex a couple times and didn't really care for the act of it, but who I was with was what counted. If I have feelings for someone, it'll be my motivation and a way to personally feel connected to them. (Although, I'm positive the others don't see it that way. : /)  

I take notice of females' physical appearances quite often (sometimes mens') and I think about sex in general quite often. But it's never a "Man, I want to do that person!" type of thing.

I don't particularly care for sex in a self-involved way, because the thought of me with someone grosses me out, but I'll read dirty fanfiction and look at lewd fanart of fanmade pairings I like, but it's pretty much for observational purposes.

But really though, I don't understand how so many people can just give their skin so easily. I'm sure some of it has to do with being extremely self-conscious, but even then, being "desired" makes me confused and disgusted. I don't like the psychology of most straight guys.. It's not flattering at all to be pursued because I'm "pretty" or whatever. : / I know that a ton of guys don't bother getting to know a girl if she isn't attractive. That bugs the crap out of me.

cannibox cannibox
18-21, F
11 Responses Nov 3, 2009

Fanfiction for the win! :D

I always wondered if I was asexual. My friends have stated I am, but I could never tell. There are times when I see a man and find him desirable. Sometimes I even think about a sexual interaction, but almost immediately after, I feel dirty and gross. I am told I lack intimacy from a couple of people-my ex-boyfriends. And I even view sex as a chore, something you do to reproduce and nothing more. As for the whole "making love" part of it, I just find sexual organs a little, well, repulsive, so it's still sex to me. A function to reproduce and create a child. Meiosis. But even with that, I am still attracted to men and I'm still interested in having a relationship....
So, am I asexual, or am I not?

Sounds like you're feeling guilty about it. Did you have a strict upbringing where sex was viewed as dirty?

I think both the entry and most of the comments are kind of sad.

It seems like many of you think of it as sex and not making love.

Making love is not just attraction but an intimate and special connection with someone you feel such a strong love for you have to be with them. A kind of love you cannot experience in a friendship, not even close. I know it sounds mean, but I actually pity those who go through life without that kind of love.

I know asexual people don't want a relationship and say they feel just as strong emotions of love, just not sexual. But I don't believe that is true - loving someone so deeply, being in love with someone so passionately that you cannot breathe without them and think about their touch cannot be described.

I know you won't miss what you haven't had - but it still make me sad that some people go through life without it :(

Sorry if I offended anyone.

The saddest thing is the people they marry who need that physical bond and are denied On a regular basis for years! It caused so much emotional and mental pain and will slowly crush an otherwise perfect marriage. It also cheats the partner of the best years of their life.

That feeling you described is what I want to experience. I'm hopeful. I've fallen deeply in love two times, but I honestly can't remember if I felt sexual attraction, and I wasn't in a relationship with any of them, so the feeling of kissing and being intimate with someone you love is still a mystery to me . I get excited when I see it (sex), I even imagine it sometimes. But when it comes down to really doing it, I don't know if I'm interested. I can only imagine it with people I love. I'm so confused !!

Oh ! I once dated a guy, he insisted so I decided to give it a try, but I never felt anything while kissing him. He was always trying for more, I tried t respond, but I felt nothing but awkwardness. I ended up breaking up with him because I couldn't give him what he wanted.

bubblegum84, that is how it went with my partner, but do you realise that the other person is being misled? We get into the relationship not knowing that sex will be withdrawn. I am married to someone who could not be honest with me before I had re-mortgaged to help him, and gone through the hell of rejection. I am a broken woman (financially and emotionally), compared to how I used to be, because of this lack of honesty! Please be honest with any future prospective partners at the very BEGINNING. Yours are not the only needs to consider!

Oh gawd, so true! The best years are behind me with nothing but self loathing and misery in return. I hate myself because of the emotional abuse I have suffered in seven years of sexual rejection! No one understands unless they have been there and very few people I know have felt this! I am 29 and I feel dead inside because I love my husband and I know this won't change but he is my best friend and I don't know if I could ever love another man this much.

I'm in the same boat. I often find myself attracted to a woman, or to someone who is biologically female, and it's because of their soul. The problem is they want sex only, or they think it's necessary for intimacy, and so I lose. As far out as this sounds, I often think of the bond between dragon and rider, or between the little boy and E.T. Even though I know that level of oneness is fictional, it's still a great metaphor for want in my partnerships.

This story caught my eye, as someone mentioned not liking being gawped at and i can definitly relate to that, I really hate being seen in any kind of sexual way, i really hate it, it makes me cringe. I wouldnt be able to relate to being asexual but i suffer with being frigid alot, i have fantasies and when i first get together with someone the sex is great, and then i become uncomfortable. I dont want to share my body with them, i just see them as a romantic friend, i dunno, i think its probably some emotional baggage.

I can relate to that. I'd rather be appreciated more for my mind than my looks. I experience sexual frustration but I don't have much interest in indulging myself.

The reason I first realized I was asexual was because not only would I rather watch paint dry for 8 hours than have sex with my partner but because I would also get offended if someone physically wanted me; I took it personally that they valued my appearance more than my personality and figured I just had really high standards. Really though, I want companionship and that's as intimate as it has to get for me. It's interesting that sexual urges are still there but the idea of including someone else outside of a fantasy sounds distasteful to me. /shrugs

Please be sure to share this with a potential life partner so that your rejection doesn't crush their self worth, desire to live and annihilate their happiness in the future! I sure wish I had of known my husband was asexual when I was twenty and young and happy, I might have found happiness In totally fulfilling partner, not a selfish brat who stole my best years. Yep, I am a very bitter 29 year old with a dead fish husband that I love to much to leave no matter how much he has hurt my self esteem or broken my soul!!

I am not asexual, but I know most people are way too much obsessed with SEX. <br />
TO ME<br />
THAT IS<br />
LOL.<br />
How they ALL cannot think of, or FIND ANYTHING TRULY MEANINGFUL?

I personally don't like wearing baggy clothes, so my clothes are more fitted, but I don't even show that much skin.. I don't like to stand out so I try to dress normal. Even still, I don't know how I get attention, because I feel like I give off the "don't bother trying" vibe.<br />
<br />
I know one other asexual person. She is more aromantic than I am.. I kind of want a relationship, but I'm not dead set on making it happen. She just flat out doesn't care. xP<br />
<br />
I have another friend who isn't asexual, but she dresses like a guy, and yet still gets pursued by males. She hates it, because she's a lesbian. lol

I am the same way. I probably even think about sex more than the average girl does, except the funny thing is I don't feel anything towards it.<br />
Maybe its more just curiosity.<br />
<br />
And about that last bit- REALLY ****** me off too.<br />
I feel sick or upset when someone "desires"" me. I don't see how it could be a turn on, and I avoid it at all costs- for this reason I don't like to wear any flattering clothes and actually dress quite conservatively lately- despite the fact that I am not very conservative.<br />
<br />
Are any people you know personally asexual?