Afraid Of Discovery

I have been gaining weight my whole life to the point where I became completely disabled by my size several years ago, and since then the weight has come on even faster.  I never had any idea I would get this big.  I am sometimes so disgusted with being this big and other times I am just amazed by it.  I am deathly afraid of anyone seeing me like this.  I don't want to be one of those people on the talk shows but it could easily be me.  Whenever the front door opens I get a chill if I don't know who it is right away.  Some days I really wish I didn't have to hide from the world!