RelationshipsI am Chinese. Cantonese-speaking, but born and raised in California. For the majority of my life, I have lived in a predominantly Asian and white community. It wasn't until college where I was perceived as a minority and also been actually teased for being Asian.
I tried to make friends with all different ethnicities, but there's something about being with Asians I feel more connected because of my interests in Asian cultures, languages, dramas, anime, and so on. After realizing how different I felt, I really started thinking about relationships and dating. Where was my ideas of dating and relationships? I had always been under the impression that I needed to date someone Asian and Christian. I started to bring it up to my family. I never really understood my family's influences on me but I actually care a lot about approval. It really seemed silly to not have ever dated and already worrying about this, but I really did.
Most of my Asian and half-Asian friends are non-Christian and want to date someone Asian or White.
Does ethnicity really have to matter so much?
My mom believes I am allowed to date whomever I want, except Japanese and Black. My father believes that I can as long as they are not Korean or Black. (under the impression that all Koreans and Blacks are violent towards their women...) My grandparents think that Chinese are the best for me. It seems there is a general consensus in this social hierarchy of theirs. I believe it is more just a preference and not a requirement because my parents speak better Chinese. My mom and dad seem to have changed there mind that as long as they love me and they are Christian, it's fine. But I worry. I don't know if I believe them. I really like Japanese, Chinese, and Korean guys but in the back of my mind, I think that there is tension for most Asians to stick to their own kind.
Is it just me?
crystaldewdrops 18-21 1 Response 2 Oct 21, 2011