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Im Not Happy With My Relationship

hi,im 23 years old,and married to an american guy,that is 32 years old now,i really love this guy,but sometimes we have lot of problem,sometimes i feel im not important 2 him,he always busy playing online games with his friends,he going out with his friends every saturday night,and bad to our situation is were far to each other,his in usa and im here still in phillippines,i want him to have full attention on me,but sometimes i understand he needs time also for his self.Does im too demanding?.All i know is i really love him,but im so impatience,sometimes i think to just left,and move on,Cuz like he dont pay attention on me,its over one year now that were married.I really want 2 be with him,but he doesnt work on my paper,he do lot of things that not so important,like playing online games with his friends,or soemthings.I hope i can find what i really want to do.

planetlyka04 planetlyka04 22-25 7 Responses Feb 22, 2009

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The hard thing is that I both understand your frustration and the situation in the U.S. right now. It is very difficult now to bring a Filipina bride to the U.S. now. a lot of political things have changed since the 70's when the Islands voted US military out, and several incidents have added a lot of legal headaches to the process of brining a Filipina into the U.S. The immigration issues have gotten much harder to get through. If he is going to get serious he is going to probably need an immigration attorney.

I understand you.. I think you should talk to him about it, and no, you are not too demanding at all. If you aren't happy with something, you should fix it. I know you don't want to keep feeling this everyday... Personally, I think he should remember that he should put 'more' effort on this relationship as this one is Long Distance. Let's try... I know it can work out if he understands.<br />
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Long distance will be difficult if one or both of you don't pay much attention at it.. I had a long distance relationship and the current one is another. I'm a feminine lesbian, had some boyfriends before but those were not long distance. I didn't feel as happy and completed as when I have relationships girls (my ex and the current gf, yes just 2), which are long distance ones, so thats how I know even if it's a long distance, if you're happy with it, then nothing else matters! My girlfriends are like me, cos they are female so they tend to be more sensitive, emotional and very caring (compared to my ex bf, they were caring but not as much as gf). So since they are like this, they put lots of attention at the relationship. (Forgot to mention, my current gf is also from the Philippines lol). Eventhough we can't meet everyday and need to save up money to keep meeting but we pay a lot of attention to each other like using Skype and sleep together on webcam, talk on Skype when we get home and before we go to work. When we're at work, we call each other up to talk for a few mins at lunch and before going home, and phone texting, if there's wifi area then we get to chat. And when she or me already have enough of money to fly and meet, even just 1 night or 2 (if not on holidays), we still do, it's better than nothing. We're planning to move and live together abroad when we are ready. I hope you and your husband are planning to live together as it is necessary, of course long distance 'should' be just temporary, not forever. Just talk to him about what you're telling here, if he loves you, he'll try to solve this problem..<br />
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Good luck, I hope you guys can work this out and everything will be better soon.<br />
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Lots of love.

Ohh I have never seen your story before, I know this is a little late and I hope everything turns out okay for you guys.<br />
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I would be very concerned if I were you, I would stand up for myself, tell him that he needs to get his sh*t together, get the paperwork done and get me over to the States so that we can live together since we are married. <br />
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Honestly it is a pain is the rear end, I know how complicated the paperwork can be since I am in the process of doing the green card paperwork myself but it can be done if you really put your heart into it.<br />
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I really hope everything is alright with you guys<br />
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Hugs,<br />
WTBeals

It is sad... many young males are truely addicted to internet games. They get so involved in fantasy that they ignore their own loved ones. I hope that you can get your husband to realize where his priorities need to be. May success be yours.

Thanks you understand me kuley 1130, he been not responsible for few years we been together,but now he changing a lot,i know he loves me so much,but theres still problem comes to our relationship,and he still busy with something but im just trying to understand him for now,i love him,for now im the one fighting to him cause i feel so depressed here in phillippines since my father die,and my visa takes so long,im so depressed for now...I wish were together facing problems...

I feel what u r feeling, and I am really sorry for this. You are not alone, I am experiencing something like this too, is your husband is still young? When u got married, does he ask for ur marriage cert.? bec. he needs to submit it to the u.s embassy and let his country know that he's already married but if he didn't did that it means he's only married here in Philippines. My husband is like that too, playing online games always, sometimes with me, and whenever we are chatting sometimes he's acting like as if he is busy when I know he's not, sometimes I was trying to call him but he's not answering the phone, and there's a lot of reasons.. Does his family knows that u two are married? Does his family against to ur marriage or do they accept you? I believe when u said that u married him bec. u love him not bec. u want to go to u.s. bec. thats why i married my husband bec. I love him. Is he planning to go back here? or you to move over there? Whats he's plans for you both?

I just dont marry him,just to come in usa,i marry him cuz i love him,but seems long distance relationship is really hard when one of you dont pay attention,or dont give enough attention while the other one is lookign for attention..Im happy when were chatting but he always busy with soemthings...