Strict Parents Against Interracial Marriage
DEC 2009 - I have been with my caucasian boyfriend for the past 5 years and we broke up a few years ago thanks to the pressure my parents put on me, saying that he had no future, no money, he's going to cheat on me, etc. But despite everything, we got back together again. I'm turning 24 next year, he'll be 25 and we're planning on getting married within 6 months to a year from now, but when I told my parents that he proposed to me, they were furious!
First of all, they know I've been together with this guy for a long time but I thought they might get softer throughout all these years but boy was I wrong. They live in a different country along with the rest of the family and relatives so I'm the only one here in the US. I understand why they would get mad and not trust my fiancee since my mom only met him once, plus he's in the Navy so it's a little hard for us to go across the globe to get together. My parents originally said that it's OK for me to want to marry him as long as we wait 3 years. We were only willing to wait as long as a year and a half so when I talked to my parents again, they changed their opinion that they are now completely against me marrying a white guy and since he's in the Navy, they said they are 100% sure he's going to cheat on me. They wanted me to come back into their house, picked a guy for me and have me marry him even though I don't have any feelings for him. They said feelings can grow later. I mean how messed up is that?! And then they forced me to choose between my fiancee and the whole family (we were talking via phone all the time) and it literally broke my heart. I couldn't answer that because I didn't want to break their hearts so I told them that it was such a childish, selfish and foolish question. They totally degrade my fiancee's job in the Navy and basically said that we will be poor for the rest of our lives. My dad even threatened to disown me and will have me kicked out of his own funeral one day.
All this ruckus is only because he's white. They know how good he is inside and how polite he is to them but they still couldn't get past the fact that he's caucasian. They're so sure he's going to mess our lives up, that he's going to cheat on me and will leave me for a prettier girl. As for me, I know he will not because we've been through a lot more than they know. We've broken each other's hearts, we went through separations for months at a time (as long as 6 months) and I finally know that he will stay true to me and will be able to provide everything for me. I also love him with all my heart and it's so painful to hear my siblings wailing on the phone, accusing me on choosing "that white guy" over our family.
DEC 2010 UPDATE - We are now happily married and my parents have accepted that there is nothing they can do to change my mind so they could either be happy for us or be miserable and eventually regret this later on. I have included the updates along our journey in the comments below. If you need any encouragement or any word of advice please message me or add me to your circle, I would be more than happy to talk to you :)
JAN 2012 UPDATE - We are now finally trying to conceive after being married for almost 2 years. My parents are more than happy with us being together and my immediate family traveled all the way to the US to attend our wedding ceremony and got to know my husband. God has been very good to us and we are excited to be out of the Navy by the end of the month. My husband is going to go back to school for his Master's degree in Physician's Assistant, and so we are embracing yet another adventure life has thrown at us :)