It Suits Me

I wouldn't say I am anti-social, but moreso partial to being alone and not having obligations to interact with people. [I wasn't aware of the term 'asocial' for quite awhile.] I don't typically enjoy the presence of others. I have no interest in talking to them, being around them, or having to partake in any group or teamwork-oriented activity. I don't like to talk - primarily out loud - and it exhausts me when I must, especially when the person being spoken to isn't being spoken to by my doing.

Occasionally there is someone far and few between that I find fascinating enough to get to know, to spend time with, and which earns my effort to socialize with them. Some I only enjoy getting to know and that's that, but it is hard to do so when people think the reason you want to know them is because you want to be their friend. In any case, despite my ability to let myself form close relationships with said rare people, that doesn't guarantee I will always want to talk or spend time with them. That's why I hesitate to do so a lot of the time, since when you become friends, most people enjoy constant get-togethers and daily chats (probably to be sure the friendship is still there, if it gets to be a while). Sometimes I prefer to go weeks without social interaction, and for no real reason. It's not out of disinterest in the friend - just my preference, like mentioned. It feels more natural to be alone.

So I often wander around, in school environments most often, alone. I remain silent, in and outside of class, and never approach people unless necessary. My silence, I think, deflects people. I am not sure if they find me creepy, narcissistic, or challenged, but I tend to not care unless it's someone I think I'd enjoy getting to know. In that case, I often have trouble finding a way to approach it, being out of practice. But even then, I am incredibly content as I am. I dislike when others find being 'asocial' an illness of some kind; it doesn't hurt me much at all.
discommodious discommodious
22-25, F
Dec 1, 2012