This Is Me Crying

After numerous efforts to work things out with my adoptive mom, I am trying to walk away.

It's hard to leave the people you love so much when you don't believe it has to be over. But if there is one thing I am learning in the midst of all this, it is that you cannot control people. You cannot make someone love you or hate you with your actions. My adoptive dad loves me (in my heart, he is my real dad--not my biological father, but definitely my real dad), but my adoptive mom has decided she does not. I am the same person, if anything, my dad has seen the worst of me while my mom has seen a much better side...and yet it is my dad who loves me.

I will miss them so much, you know? I feel dazed a lot of the time...I don't even know how we got to this point. And it's not that I can't live without them...I just don't want to. I love them so much. They're my family--the family I dreamed of all my life and then I had them and now, I don't.

This probably doesn't even make sense, but I love that I'm allowed to write it here and someone may even read it...someone may hear what I'm saying. Thanks for that.

lonelygirl23 lonelygirl23
22-25, F
1 Response Apr 15, 2007

There are times in life when you have to let people be themselves, even when they are wrong. I hope eventually you can repair whatever damage has occured and get past whatever has happened to make you feel unloved. Like the previous commenter said, don't let go of your dad, though. At least try and preserve that relationship if it is loving and productive. I hope everything works out for you, take care.