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I Don't Like Hearing It.

I became friends with a young woman at work. She was, and I am sure still is, very attractive and blessed with a very nice personality. One evening a co-worker, aware that I was attracted to her, came to me commenting on her pleasing appearance saying she was pretty cute "for a black girl." Cute for a black girl? I didn't see how her darker complexion lessened her attractiveness.
GrandPaRoo GrandPaRoo 61-65, M 20 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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Got to love them

That is such a covert form of racism...Right up there with, "Some of my best friends are black." People need to get a damn grip!!!!

Good for you for being color blind! *applauds you*
God bless you GrandPaRoo!~

Thank you...I get it all the time and while I'm flattered that you find me attractive, I'm not flattered that you insulted most of the other women in my race :/

Please enlighten me, how the hell have I insulted other women of your race?

I just haven't been on here for a while, that's why I didn't respond. What was your original comment?

Oooooooh I remember what I was saying now lol I was agreeing with you! I was saying thank you for pointing that out. I wasn't saying you were insulting the rest of my race I was saying that's how I feel when guys say the whole "you're cute for a black girl" thing.

OK, my bad. It was suggested by someone else that you were the second voice standing behind me. Pardon me. I am responding to you from Ghana. I am serving as a volunteer teacher. I am enjoying the kids and this rewarding experience.

How'd you get into that? That's something I'd love to try, not be a teacher exactly, just a volunteer anything else really.

I saw a poster promoting volunteer service in Africa. Something within me inspired me to do this. Through the organization Cross-Cultural Solutions, I came to Ghana. This has been a most rewarding experience.

Sorry to intrude.. I think she was stating "you," not actually referring to YOU specifically.. but rather a general statement. Just trying to clear up the miscommunication.

You were correct :)

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I'm color blind when it comes to outside color cause we're all the same color inside

I guess he didn't find most black women attractive so was saying she was an exception in his eyes. If he acts bad in other ways then he was probably being an ***. If he is normally a good person then it probably meant nothing except sounded weird.

Thank you..Am a black girl, and would be pleased if I meet fair people like your self.

Thank you so much for this!

This is true

Black Women are beautfull

I've heard the same comment from my mother. A pretty woman is a pretty woman regardless of skin tone.

Agreed. The guy's comment didn't register with me immediately. So her skin is a little darker? BFD!

This is so TRUEPlease reply with authenticity, support, and respect

Perhaps no more than a very poor choice of words,,, or,,,, could be,, he's a total racist,,,

I shall repeat...he is someone I know well. He is not a racist.

ah so,,, then must be a case of words most poorly chosen,,, this is good :)

I think that may be a compliment either. Somehow it does not sound that way. I think maybe that person has no bad intention by saying that.

The fellow that made the comment is someone I know well. He didn't do a good job of choosing his words.

I agree with you. Sometime ppl don't pay attention on what they're saying. Can be they did it un purpose to hear what you had to say.

Thank you for your response. The guy making the "cute for a black girl" statement was not baiting me for a reaction, he thought he was saying something complementary. It was and then again it wasn't.

I've known several who are very attractive, some outright gorgeous. If a woman looks good, she looks good regardless of her race. To put it in the context of your coworker just shows incompetence. I have to wonder; if the girl was white and unattractive, would he have said " she looks ugly for a white girl."?

Woww. "Cute for a black girl?" What's that supposed to mean? Sheesh. Sometimes people can be so ignorant.

"Cute for a black girl" - what a silly thing to say. Black girls are beautiful. I don't know why people are like this. I have heard colleagues at work admit that they "don't find dark skinned women [meaning black, Indian, whatever] attractive". Maybe they should try it, like I did, except of course it means you don't find white women attractive anymore afterwards. I know I couldn't go back to white women now.<br />
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Of course, I have heard similar remarks the other way round, so to speak, black women (or men) saying they don't find white men (or women) attractive.

In Curacao they have a song saying, once you go black you never go back. hahaha :D

Of course I recognized my younger friend as being a black woman. I saw her as a very attractive young woman who happened to be black. She was very nice and was very pleasing to the eye. So her skin was darker than mine, BFD!

That is just the right attitude.

I agree, that was a very thoughtless comment.

He actually thought he was paying her a nice complement. It was almost like saying she wasn't so ugly.

As a black female, I have been around that comment many times and it is often that the world has voted us to be the ugliest women on the planet. It is very frustrating because as black women we are often told how to look, how to do our hair, how to walk, who to be with, etc. We never seem to do anything right in people's eyes.<br />
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All that I can say is that people have their opinions.