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Please Hold Up Your End Of The Conversation!


Originally Posted June 2012. Edited May 2013 for style & content.  Edited November 2013 to remove names of actual people in my life

This is a really hard story to write because elsewhere on here I think I remember clicking on a "I am nice" group. And yet, the simple name of this group implies that I group guys by their IQ. In reality, it's not quite that simple. It simply means that if you are a guy, and you want to catch my attention *in that way* then your best strategy is to engage me between my ears.

Be warned: I'm afraid I've been a little spoiled here. My dad and my brother are REALLY intelligent guys and this means they can fire off quick one-liners and have me rolling on the floor. It means they challenge my assumptions about life everyday and make me defend my beliefs. My dad loves debate (to a fault) and has practiced his skills on me for years. Like most women, my view of the ideal guy for me is shaped by the role models I have; so be ready, I've had good ones.

So yes, I am here to meet people, to chat with people, to learn about you and about me. However, if you are a guy, and you want me to feel an attraction to you, your first challenge should be to engage my head. If you succeed, the rest of me is attached. ;-)

May 2013:   I read this story I posted just eleven months ago and realize how far I've come in this past year.  I arrived at EP last Spring struggling with my feelings toward guys and girls and denying even to myself that I had any romantic interests in other girls.  What a journey of discovery it has been!  :-)

SaraBee1995 SaraBee1995 18-21, F 11 Responses Jun 1, 2012

Your Response


It seems to me that the story isn't inaccurate, just incomplete.

Hmm....Well it was complete (I think) as of when it was written and updated last. Sure, I've changed a lot since then, but that's why I posted more stories! ;-)

You're still incomplete, life's journey lasts until you draw your last breath.

Learning and doing more is part of the joy of life. Keep going and keep writing!

Interesting post. Congrats on your success as well since you wrote this post. I guess the one topic I can think of right now is, "do you see war as a greater good to humanity?"

Hmmm, well first, thank you. But to which success do you refer? I've had many in the last year (it's been a good year).

As for your question, that is very interesting. As you phrased it, I am forced to say no of course not. But if I may take the liberty of tweaking your question a bit I think I can come up with a better answer: "Do you think war ever can be a greater good to humanity?" To this question, I can confidently answer yes. I do believe in the concept of a "just" war; one that is fought in defense of freedom and humanity. World War Two is the best example I can think of.

no one can claim that war is never justified, until they are faced with reality of the threat of subjugation, of having property, land, country, identity and freedom taken from them.

I never said war was justified, there is always a way to avoid the loss of life we see by having it. That is not what I was referring to when I asked the question.

To the success of your additional post of the path you have traveled in that time.

I guess that is another way to look at the question, and it it a good answer. For me though I see war as a greater good for a few reasons, one it lets technology progress at a rapid rate, one that is similar as today's which is also war driven due to the fact that our level of cooperation is somewhat dependent on having the technology to defend against or attack others, which is still sad. Another benefit that I see is the after affect of war on people. Every time war as occurred our understanding of others changes, such an example is after WWII we wanted to have Germany pay for the expenses we faced to defend us against their attacks similar to what happened after WWI, but this along with other things caused WWII so we didn't repeat this mistake. Another way to see it I guess is adding knowledge of another based on the response seen in the battle field. I think I explained this correctly, but I am sure I messed up somewhere in it.

where do you live? you write as someone with nice, clean theoretical view of war. Do you think you are faced with fighting to defend our land, your property, your family? When war is real, is actual matter of killing enemy, how do you feel?

Oh sweet Yulia! Those words must be painful for you to read. You are facing the loss of your land and the subjugation of your people. War is never an academic or theoretical exercise. It is real and ugly and very unfortunately sometimes necessary. I fear that in your land it may soon be necessary.

Wow. I'm not sure I could EVER accept the advancement of technology as a justification for killing a single human being never mind thousands or millions. I realize that this rapid advancement is often a side effect of war but it cannot be used as a justification.

what to say!

Well, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and Mr Country here seems like a nice guy. But I think you said it right when you said he writes as someone for whom war is some theoretical concept. I pray for you Yulia and for your country. I will fly your colors until this tension is resolved.

you will be blue and yellow for long time, i fear.

Yes, me too, and that is why I brought back my TKD girl but with your colors behind her. "We have not yet begun to fight...."

you understand... i love you for that.

We understand each other my love. I sometimes think we are connected somehow. ;-)

Yes I am in an area that knows peace. I never meant that the technological advancement we see from having war is a justification for it to occur. In the end war only brings death, and from death we do learn our mistakes. I hope the conflict in your country does end peacefully Yulico and I am sorry that you must go through it.

I quote you "I see war as a greater good for a few reasons, one it lets technology progress at a rapid rate... ". How are you defending this statement? Or are you now denying it?
And if you believe that we learn from death, can you explain why we still war?
You seem very confused.

I am not going to be a person who tries to say I never said that because as you already said I have. When I said it I had a different view point in mind of war, then when I made my last post. I am not trying to make light of this red stain our our history either by saying we learn from death as in we won't do it again, because we all know war is never-ending. There will always be war as long as someone as something we want or has a different view on life. We will never learn from the death brought by war to stop having war with each other, this is not what I meant either, but we do learn enough to at least stop the endless blood stream for a while until we forget the knowledge we learned from it.

what is your country?

I am part of the USA, I live in Minnesota. And I know that our country is young and our so called understanding of war like others has a long way to go. Although we say we go to war to prevent it we are still part of war there is no preventing it by being part of it.

Has your country ever been at peace? think back through you history.

To be honest, I don't really think we have never not been in a war.

hahaha by the time i add up all those negatives, i am not sure what we have here...

A bunch of wasted life is what it comes down to. I have to go quick, but I should be back on later tonight.

ok, be safe!

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Hey! can a girl engage you between ears too????

Oh Yulia! How could I have missed this comment until now!! I think you know that you have me fully engaged between the ears!!!

LOL! i must be careful what i say... probably best i just bite my tongue!

Haha, thank you Yulia! ;-)

ok you know it is!


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Way to go, Sara. Don't ever lose that perspective on life.

Thanks Jordan, not planning on it. I did for a little while there, but not again.

Good for you.

A woman (or anyone else) should always be treated with respect. Part of that is treating them as if they had a functioning brain. Your dad and brother did well in exposing you to smarts and wit. They taught you to expect a better quality of man and that is not a bad thing.

Thanks Crazy! The problem is that they didn't tell me where to find such a guy!! Lol. Seems a rare species.

Men who have respect for women and wit are out there. Hint: Don't discount nerds or geeks. A lot of women do for athletic or frat types. Just sayin'...

Haha, no problem there. Since I am one myself, I would never discount nerds & geeks! Lol. Although, my two miserably failed attempts in the dating world have been with "athletes". Ugh.

Good on your men for settin the bar high.<br />
<br />
That way they know they won' have to one day listen to your dumbass husband blather bout next to nothin. =)<br />
<br />
Fun read.

Thanks for the comment! And THANK YOU for letting me know what their ulterior motive was in so warping my expectations! They were simply protecting themselves from future exposure to blathering idiots! I love it.

We do have our moments ... however infrequent.

You lil stinker, des ... watch it ... I'll getcha!

Now now, no fightin' in my story comments! Btw, she's armed, you might wanna hold back from threatening her anywhere!

She only had the bow couple weeks now ... I ain' scared.

Yet ... long as she's LOL'n. =)

Idk, I've heard a girl with a bow can change worlds. (Sorry, couldn't resist the Hunger Games reference! ;-)

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Great attitude. Gawd elp us males!! :)

Lol, you don't need God's help. Just an understanding that the way to my heart passes through that organ between my ears.

See! And that's is the problem. So focused on the external !!!!!

And completely wrong. It`s your BRAIN. I`m sorry. If I did`nt tell them, we`d be here awhile based on that answer.

Now, now, boys. Don't fight. We're all here to have fun, right?

Yes mum. Sorry mum.

We would`nt fight if you had`nt grounded us from Xbox.

Nice one - needed a laugh this morning. Cheers!!

Glad I could accommodate!

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Well, it sure sounds like you won't settle for someone who isn't right for you. And I salute you for that. :)

Hi Hayl! Thanks and no I won't. I've done that twice now and won't make it three times. -- Sara.

This is very well said. You don't come across like you don't belong in the I Am Nice group.

HI Riley! Thanks, I appreciate that. I don't want to be mean to guys, but come on, sometimes they just get me so mad. It's fun to be sexy, but first they need to put in some kind of effort to get to know a girl, right?? Lol.

Me talk good!

Lol, nice John!

Love it!

Hey thanks!