Yep

Lol that is funny.

well golly, gosh, you just describe me...I just thought I'd throw that in just in case you were bored today.

Honey, you sound so down it's almost depressing to look at. Then again, if it's really that bad, i think it's time you started doing something about it. Like smuggle urself outta da country or something. You have a great sense of humor, you're smart, outspoken, well educated and you're probably much more beautiful than you want to admit to yourself. You are just having a hard time and giving yourself a hard time on top of that. I don't know what to say, just if you wanna chat a little bit, don't hesitate. Be gentle on yourself, then the world too will be gentler with you as a consequence. Really, it works that way, you'll see. By the way, the kind of men you describe does exist. Oh, and one more thing, you share the experience "I Am A *****". This is clearly false, please share true experiences only or i will flag you.