Resume Syndrome

a friend and i coined the term after we discovered the trend of developing crushes on guys who look so damn fine on paper we overlook the lack of spark, that certain je ne sais quoi.

smarts is the new sexy for the with-it girls of today, but some of the shallowness that comes with physical attraction seem to also apply to intelligence.

girls know what i mean?  he's got a career path of gold, presents at major conferences in his field, multiple papers to his name... but in the end if he's a jerk or just not butterfly-in-the-stomach-inducing... hearts beware!

(edit: sub 'intelligence' for 'fruits of intelligence' i.e. that PhD or other 'marketabilities'.  You can't substitute common ground with his credentials)

ficklegirl ficklegirl
22-25, F
21 Responses Jul 13, 2007

In Hebrew culture, academics had to do a practical trade too<br />
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Hence, genius Apostle Paul was a tentmaker by trade<br />
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Warrington call their summer precinct family entertainment summer camp<br />
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I really enjoyed harmonising with the busker in the matching cowboy hat<br />
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I'll be doing that with buskers at The Cross, Chester in @ 5 hours

Some people don't equate sucess with intelligence, a nice smart guy doesn't necessarily make big bucks, OK? Am I off ba<x>se on this? You guys out there hear me,<br />
you know you can get called under an achiever if you can't make enough money to maintain the shallow minded trophy wife?

I don't know that the two are mutually exclusive. It's not so much a social status issue, as it is an indication that that you can function, understand and perform at a certain academic level. Not everybody can. A lot of people who have made amazing contributions to the world have worked hard (and needed) to get their degrees. I have met some academics, however, who have had NO life experience and are not at all intelligent beyond "book smart." These are the people who like the sound of their own voices and who I avoid like the plague at social functions!

Interesting perspective DrPhilosopher.<br />
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I don't generally find people with degrees to be additionally pompous, except perhaps - ironically - those with philosophy degrees. (That is NOT a dig at you or your mentioned interests :) One of the most arrogant individuals I'd ever encountered had a PhD in Philosophy. Damn that guy liked to hear himself TALK... <br />
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"As a philosopher I hold intelligence in low accord because it is through feelings, intuitions, and emotions that give us the creative juice needed to thrive and create new things for knowledge springs from those three important energies we feel"<br />
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Feelings, intuitions and emotions are high on my list as well, but intelligence is needed to bring ideas discovered via these avenues to fruition. Many have worthy, innovative ideas in theory but it takes a particularly exceptional individual to make a ground breaking idea a reality. I suppose you might say it's easy to talk the talk but perhaps not so easy to walk it.<br />
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I don't think education makes one "a predictable conditioned puppet" per say. In fact, specialized knowledge can open doors for trailblazing and innovation, but you need to have nailed the basics first. (For instance, in psychology). It perhaps depends on which area you excel at as an individual.<br />
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I agree that it is good to challenge acceptable paradigms. More people should. There is nothing worse than doing things solely because "That's the way it's always been done." Some people are happy with this, but I would not be. I understand your point in this regard.<br />
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Regardless of education, the type of person that attracts me is one who takes risks, challenges the norm and wants to make a significant impact during their time in this world. This does not happen by being like everybody else.

A piece of paper that says one is a "master" or "adept" in his current field ba<x>sed on him passing through the trials of Pavlovian educational systems makes him not exactly intelligent in himself.... because one would see that one does not learn from a mentor but by the observation of the self and the use his/her own wit to find the pathway of gold instead of conforming to the corporate/ scientific career models. But I myself find people of high educational backgrounds in American society to be pompous, arrogant, and materialistic; because that is how our society is structured to make one who follows the lines to be molded into what government and the world wants, a predictable conditioned puppet who when is asked to jump will say how high. I reject the acceptable paradigms of this world and create my own; that however is something I do now thanks to the fact that during my first semester of college I saw the preconditioned minds and the teachers who further the conditioning. Any man or woman who has a piece of paper and thinks that makes them superior, after a few words with me I turned their world upside down, even though I am a dropout non-conformist in the sense of lifestyle control and societal money making models so even when looked down upon my words ring true once the voice is heard. Mind you I am single but that is out of choice of being a hermit for my wisdom to grow and to spread my perceptions and teachings. Intelligence is subjective and is not an indicator of worth though society deems it to be of the highest order and need. As a philosopher I hold intelligence in low accord because it is through feelings, intuitions, and emotions that give us the creative juice needed to thrive and create new things for knowledge springs from those three important energies we feel. Thinking however is not intelligence because in our minds its all ridiculous banter zooming in our heads miles a minute. Look inside yourself for a moment is what is going on in your mind now of what is called by society "intelligence" or is it a flurry of feelings, intuitions, and emotions that combine together to allow for intelligence. Disagree if you may but these are things I found to ring true in my body, mind, and soul.

Perhaps there is hope for the geeks amongst us after all !, Personally I find a woman attractive on appearance - BUT if when I speak with her she isnt interesting and intelligent enough to hold my attention I wouldnt stay with her. I wouldnt say Im uber intelligent but most of my friends would describe me as intelligent (I think!) and I have a decent career in a profession that generally requires intelligence. Im hoping this trend continues as Im in with more of a shout on this than the six pack seekers !

Interesting observation...intelligence having "shallowness"<br />
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...although I speak from a male perspective I find myself in agreement....however (bear with me here ok!) I also found myself attracted to intelligent women - if she happens to be beautiful too I consider that a bonus, but firstly the intelligence is a winner most of the time....the "shallowness", that one can sometimes find in all this "intelligence", usually hits me with the realisation of the "intelligence", that initially attracted me, is a "subjective intelligence" - only pertaining to the individuals narrow perspective of the world, or their career or to counter all this I am trying to no longer focus on the intelligence or the beauty anymore as maybe it indicates a certain shallowness on my part. Instead I find myself focusing on what i value in a woman - kindness, understanding and a self worth that allows her to express her femininity in her own unique way....<br />
Can I also ask another question?....could this shallowness be a cultural thing??only applying to certain backgrounds etc??....just a thought....Peace xxx

Intelligence and wit are very important to me. The resume not at all. As long as he has knowledge about several things. I am there. Dumb men need not apply.

My wife and I are clearly sapiosexuals, intelligence both turn us on and we derive a much more lasting pleasure talking together in bed than... but that's another story.<br />
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The kind of attraction that is suggested, as TheOnlyConstantIsChange pointed, is to marketability. It's nothing more than what old-style matchmaking used to be: Will he provide, is he stable, does he come from a good family and so on.<br />
Not to say that it's necessarily a wrong choice, it's the kind of reassurance some would look in a long-term mate.<br />
My personal opinion is that career-driven individuals may have a hard time making a partner feel like a priority.

My hubby isn't the smartest guy in the world but I make up for his shortcomings and he makes up for mine. I know that I am smarter than him in some areas as he is smarter than me in a few. I always beat him when we play Scrabble but he can do math equations that make my eyes cross. <br />
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We are compatible and complimentary in all the ways that count. I think that is important ;)

Intelligence, as given by IQ, is just a social construct. The only basis in reality that it has is the purpose I give to it. So, for me, if someone who is smart should be able to make good (in the truest sense of that word) decisions or evil decisions and make them big, then being smart can be something worse than being dumb and good. In a world where everyone is running in the wrong direction, the man who can't run as fast is ahead.

Huh. That really makes a lot of sense. Totally gonna steal the term sometime, hehe.

Well, I think that being intelligent and attractive is good and rather better than the opposite, but yes, it doesn't really matter because it's what one does with it that does. My measure of a person is what he or she looks like on a busy Saturday afternoon or lazy Sunday morning in the middle of Paris. What will happen when you spend a weekend there together. Having a person's full attention and keeping yours all the way when walking along the River Seine and having front seats for the ballet in the evening is a real plus. Stay sexy everyone! :-)

Intelligence does not matter. What is intelligence, even? Did you know that sticking an ice pick through someone's eye socket and completely destroying the frontal lobes does very little to reduce '"IQ"? The point is that what our society deems to be intelligence may not really be what makes us human, or sexy. Don't you ever feel like you are surrounded by immoral, prideful, and disloyal morons who, by God, know how to calculate? I sure do.

Intelligence is an essence.. :) Without it, you and i wouldnt be talking. There are millions of other things that intelligence also has enabled us to achieve :D

If I were a Carpenter and You were a Lady , would You Marry Me Anyway.....Would You have Our Baby....<br />
Intelligence is not always easy to see<br />
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Best wishes , I prefer to be Stupid is as Stupid does

i dont think intelligence is all about jobs, and nor should it be based around jobs. A man can be very intelligent and be without a job. I see intelligence as wisdom and likewise. Someone who knows how to move on, solve problems and simply know how to smile.. be happy :)

Thanks guys, you have nailed exactly what I was trying to express. That's why I think "resume syndrome" is more appropriate than something like "intelligence syndrome". How great would it sound to say you're dating a MD right? But if there's nothing further it's just as shallow as only going for physical attributes.

I have to agree with an earlier comment, "chasing brains for their 'looks' is as wholly ridiculous to me as chasing shirttails..."<br />
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It seems as though you're not really attracted to intelligence, but the fruits of it. Since the products of intelligence (in your case, status-related entities such as job title, affluence and prestige) are just as trivial "in the end" as any other superficial characteristics, like what color his lunch pail might be. <br />
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In the end, it's all about a common ground and the emotion that registers, not their price tag and satisfaction warranty.

It's incumbent upon me to know that, since I have all these ladies chasing me for my intelligence >:-)

The term is sapiosexual, being attracted to intelligence.

"but in the end if he's a jerk"<br />
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Huh? I thought women LIKED jerks...

They do and to so much of an extent that it has almost become a culturally taboo for it to be any other way.

that is just not true. and if tried actually asking any girls, you would know that.

i find that people frequently vociferously deny what they actually do, even to themselves, both men and women alike. i have seen so many women, especially young women, go for the jerkiest guy they can find. not everyone does, but a lot of people do. and it's not like it's not well known. just look on any daytime talk show. 'i keep going for the wrong guy' yadda yadda. to be fair there's guys who do the same thing. i have been on occasion. attraction is sometimes paradoxical. i think there's something that seems safer to (at least dating) the bad person, be they male or female. they're easier to justify dumping for one.

i tend to go for the drop outs rather than the success stories. but i take the same kind of route usually. "oh theyve done this, and this" and that makes sense cos i did them too. lost soul trying to find another. but i never really properly desired my ex, he just made sense when little else did.