I Don't Know Why I'm So Attracted To Nerdy GuysWhen I was in sixth grade, I had a huge crush on this nerdy guy. His name was Peter, and I don't know how my Mom knew I must have liked him .
One day, I told my mother that the kids at school were making fun of Peter because of his haircut. She asked me, " What were the kids at school saying ?"
I told her they were saying things like," Peter, your haircut looks like someone put a bowl on your head !"
Then I told her I felt sad for Peter, but I remember saying that Peter acted like it didn't bother him, even though his face turned red. He was a humorous kid, and I liked his calm nature. His sense of humor I always understood , but seemed so grown up for one our age....
Shortly afterwards, my mother informed me that both of his parents were Psychologists. As a young girl, I was unable to see exactly why she thought to tell me that piece of information. I didn't care what his parents were, but all I knew was that I had a big crush on Peter....
The only thing I remember is feeling so inferior to him. I did not know why I couldn't get good grades, but Peter was a straight A student.
Inside of my heart, I thought,"Peter will never like me, because I get low grades, and I can't be smart like him."
Ironically, Peter always was nice to me, but he never participated in other school activities, like sports , etc.
I didn't care that Peter was not ordinary, but every day all I ever looked forward to is listening to him talk so intelligently. I got so thrilled to listen to him, and looking at him, got me so flustered. I secretly hoped he never caught me looking intently at him. He could make me smile with such ease........ just by talking, and he read voraciously......
To this day, I cannot believe I still am very enthralled with a nerdy guy! What is this all about? Glasses and clothes that don't look like he just walked out of GQ magazine, are insignificant to me.
I think what I'm finding out about myself is that....... nerds are some of the best people to know and interact with. They have their own world, and are busy doing the things in it!
I admire their sheer tenacity, as well as their confidence in themselves to be just who they are, and they usually are not looking to impress anybody, they KNOW they are "impressive".
A couple of weeks ago , I sat next to a man who is a professor at a college. He teaches a computer class, and had to make the test up himself, because the final was for a class that is unique. I asked him, "What is the class for which you needed to design your own test for ?"
After he spewed out a well thought out sentence with words I never heard of, I caught myself back in the sixth grade mode. I took a deep breath, sort of feeling "Safe"........ and I felt so comforted by the fact that there are still real men out there that are not caught trying to be something they are not just because they are trying to "impress" you. I felt also, like.......... uhhmm...... well this guy would never like me ", as well. I guess some things never change.
But , taking in a very deep breath of relaxation is something that surprises me and bewilders me. I only do that when I feel completely relaxed, so how that is related , I do not know.
I would love to think that a nerdy guy would someday love to date me, then get married........... now that IS a dream!
owrelax 51-55, F 3 Responses 1 Dec 22, 2010