I Have a Question

Are there any women out there who are attracted to guys who don't fit into any particular group? I'm just a normal guy i'm not a stud i'm not a nerd i'm not a jock i'm not a bad boy and i'm not a saint. I'm just a normal guy. What is wrong with that why does everyone have to be classified as this type of guy or that type of guy. This really leaves a lot of guys completely out in the cold and some of us are decent people who just want to find someone who will respect them for who and what they are. Anyway i keep seeing experiences like this and thought i'd throw in the perspective of a normal guy who doesn't really fit into a category.
ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick
46-50, M
82 Responses Jan 21, 2008

Well i think you are a great friend to have in my circle and i hope to meet you someday after i am moved out of my group home and living on my own! I would want us to be just friends though because i have to msny issues to have a boyfriend!

Define normal though

Congrats on getting experience of the day

Sounds like you got a case of blue balls and cant find anyone, so you come online complaining. just my 2 cents

Well, if my best friend is any indication, then the answer is yes. 1 year relationship with one of the hottest, most fun-loving women I've ever had the privilege to meet, and we've made a joke that his "category" is literally just his name.

If I'm any indication, though, I'd say nay, but maybe that's just because my friend's an Average Joe type of "no category" character, while I, on the other hand, am just a ******' walking paradox.

I don't care if you don't have a catergory, as long as you're nice...

I try...and most people think i succeed :-)

You do!! :-)

the way society works labels labels labels everywhere XD

Then again, who fits perfectly in any category?

I do...i fit perfectly into the category of being boring LOL

Darn that means we fit right into the same category! Lol

Why does every third man here on ep try to convince me that he's boring? I bet that you're not!

I like guys who are sincere about they things they like to the point where they don't care whether or not they're conforming to labels or stereotypes. This is probably why I like nerdy guys so much, because nerds don't tend to care that they're nerds.

Well you have to get noticed somehow. Nice and normal work but don't be shy! (yes my user name is ironic)

To like a person not becouse he stereotypically anything in looks, but in heart and behave<br />
As normal person u have chances 2 b like as big as un normal person does :)

To like a person not becouse he stereotypically anything in looks, but in heart and behave<br />
As normal person u have chances 2 b like as big as un normal person does :)

To like a person not becouse he stereotypically anything in looks, but in heart and behave<br />
As normal person u have chances 2 b like as big as un normal person does :)

It wouldn't be because i want to be in a category it would be because i want to get laid LOL

there is ladies that don't look for a categories. I'm one of them. Don't change who you are because you want to be in a category. Thats just plain stupid.

Call me when you turn 21 :-)

I like guys like you! I wish more guys were "normal" because the ones in groups, idk. they just act a certain way and I don't like it. I hope you find a nice girl! :)

It is nice to have all of these friends online and i do cherish each friend i get though i don't always talk to them very much (a result of my job more than anything) but having nothing but online friends for the most part makes for a pretty lonely life sometimes.....if it wasn't for the voices in my head i would never have ANYONE to talk to LOL

it matters because i have found that in general it seems to matter to the fairer sex (online friends excepted of course) and i assume the opposite is true as well for you ladies

I have never fallen into any particular group either....smiling softly.....and that's okay by me. I like being who i am and when push comes to shove isn't that what really matters? As long as you are comfortable in your own skin what does it really matter what others think? Of course it's nice to be accepted by others, but those who do not accept me for who and what i am are not worthy of my time and attention anyway.

I only have 2 categories initially.....friendly and unfriendly. Other sub categories may come if i actually get them to talk to me LOL

let me ask you something else?why you boys like to classify girls into categories?Like the sl_t,the nerd, or generally "all girls are stupid" yes I've heard that from an 20year old man!!I think the two opposite sexes need to discover each other.Because they do not sit down to do it, they classify their representatives in order to feel that they know them :)

the only magazines i subscribe to are Discover and The Hockey News

Whew !!!............ smiles<br />
Come to think of it I don't think Discover magazine or Foreign Affairs or Mother Earth or any of the others do centerfolds............smiles

something tells me thats not going to be an issue Elf LOL

Rick.... after getting your ego massaged by all the ladies.............PLEASE..... in the name of all that is HOLY.............DO NOT pose nude for a centerfold in any magazine I read..............<br />
smiles<br />
<br />
Thanks in advance for your consideration :-P

we get along fine now but you are right i was painfully shy back then.....i'm still shy today but not as bad as i used to be

back in high school i truly didn't care what anyone thought about me and i acted as if dating didn't matter to me consequently i spent most of my time alone.......25 years later a group of classmates started going out for drinks every month and i found out what those people thought of me back then.....most didn't remember me at all but when they tried to place me they asked what group i hung out with, those few who did remember me thought i was stuck up because i didn't hang out with anyone. so it is my experience that the group or type you are associated with has a dramatic effect on ones social life.

Alright, lookie here, first of all I haven't read all the comments just the one you posted originally. I'm sure you are a great guy, a great catch. Women can be ******** sometimes too in the sense that they feel they need more excitement, more drama, something they can really engage their minds in. Normal guys are honestly boring sometimes. Women do not want to admit that they want to settle into a nice stress-free no drama relationship until they are soo scorned and hurt and just sick of it that they just give up and give in. Maybe what you need to do is just be you. Go play pool, have a drink with the guys, and don't worry why the girls aren't after you yet. You need to get to know you and build a little confidence in yourself before you even think about being bothered with women. With the state you are in now, they are just going to use you and abuse you. Try new things, maybe set new personal goals that don't involve women. You are a real catch I am sure, but you need to be you first. You can't just be thinking what if all the time. I know smart guys, I know bad boys, I know smart bad boys that are ultimately just ******** cuz they are soo insecure. Be proud of being you. Don't let women get you down. You need to learn how to have fun on your own. Sorry this is sooo long, but I hope it helped a little, at least.

You are right. I wish I could tell you the reason. Normal good guys are just boring actually. Something no one wants to admit that they want to settle down with till they are sooo scorned and burned by other guys that they just give up and give in. I haven't read all 57 previous comments, but I'm sure you are a good guy. Also, maybe you should just live your life and stop looking. Maybe you should just find what you can do that makes you happy, which doesn't always have to involve women. Do you have any male buddies that you can just hang out with, shoot pool and have a beer with? My best friend/love interest just called me talking about world wars one and two. Are ya serious? Smart guys are over-rated, bad boys are mysterious yea, and I know some smart bad boys who are just plain ********. I hate this cuz people always tell me this, but you just have to be confident. Give off that I don't care vibe and everything will be fine I assure you. Don't wonder why or when, just be content with yourself first.

i don't know if thats good or bad lol

Oh Miss J. You are definitely a "Particular Sort".

that is true

i know this story is about a guy's perspective, but it seems to me that women get penalized for not being a particular sort also. guess we all lose out if we don't fit into a certain group.

no i don't think a new pair of shoes will help

i don't hang out with anyone in real life. i spend all of my time alone and with my EP friends

Wait you're 41-45 years old, who are you hanging out with? Most people over 30 - or latest 35 don't have those classifications. By your age you're either a jerk or a decent guy.

from what you've said about her, doesn't sound like she desreves it. good for you!

its even better....she didn't get the alimony my attorney told me she would probably get so i'm free AND i get to keep my money :-)

* divorce dance* Good for you :)

DIVORCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAY MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! doing pretty good today!!

Dude i saw the title ... stop tricking me ! How are you Mr. truck driver guy?

well....you are a little young for me anyway LOL

The question I mean... :)

Yes, I'm totally with you there!! I am always attracted to the one guy left out of the group (minus the scary ones.) But yeah, as long as they are within two years up and at most, one year down' then I'm okay. =)

thanks....but i'm none of those things....they all require a modicum of confidence and that is something i am sadly lacking....wait the coy thing i do all the time....it doesn't seem to work for me. usually i just get a look that says "what the f*** are you looking at *******"

i wanted to find someone to date but i realize now thats not really possible because of my job....i'm also not terribly interested in a wham bam thank you ma'am kind of relationship either...especially in this day and age

well sounds lke you kinda need to make a reltionship like a bissness deal:P thats cool, often times de just like to do it that way....cut to the chase..sorta speak...why diddledaddle when we both know what we want and were loking for the same thing in life....ide like to get passed the stupid dating schene and just set something up right away with someone..im not too much into actually 'dating' per say i guess...

i fit into the "old guy who thinks all women like bad boys" stereotype LOL

theres always SOME type of 'labeling' gion' on...lol hmmmm normal guy you say?? i could put some kinda label on ya.. I can stereotype anyone and everyone..hell.. I totally fit in a 'steriotypical view' lol i dont mind..i dont really see how you COUDNT fit into any steriotype..evreyon always does! even if they think thry dont... cuz theres ALWAYS 20 other people just like you somewhere!! :P

i haven't lost all hope....just lost hope in finding someone for any kind of a long term relationship...with my job i have just come to realize that it is nearly impossible. i'm gone 3-4 weeks at a time then come home for 2-3 days. in that time i like to try to see some of my family and friends, leaving little time for going anywhere i might meet someone. i also do not run a regular route in the truck so the chances of meeting someone on the road are extremely unlikely as i may not get through the same area twice in a year!<br />
<br />
honestly i have felt better about myself since i gave up that dream

whatever you do, don't give up!! There's a girl/woman out there for you, and what's meant to be will always find a way!! Honestly, I think truckers are hot, and if my guy drove a truck, I'd still love him and think he was amazing and beautiful! Just remember that everything happens at particular points in life for a reason..who knows,,,everyones path is different, and that's what makes it fun! Ive found that it's always hard to find something when I'm looking for it, but once I stop looking for it for a while, it will just show up! Even like an earring that I found, that had been missing for 7 months! I never lost hope that it would show up, and it did! Stop looking, but don't lose hope! Hope it what makes the future brighter because really, anything can happen! and I always like to just think of good things happening, because good things make you feel good!! =)

eh! i've pretty much given up on finding anyone...no big deal i drive a truck and i'm pretty used to being alone

Being normal is the best! Not fitting a particular category, because that makes you unique! My boyfriend right now is pretty normal, but I love him to death because of it...I feel like the guys who are the most "normal" are the ones who show the most love, and who will really be there until death do you part...You'll find the right girl!! We're out there too! Those girls who are just normal, and just want someone to be their best friend, and to care about them always! Keep your eyes out! Love comes when you least expect it!

maybe there is such an abundance of those kinds of men out there versus the nice, normal guys. i, for one, wish it wasn't so.

ok all of these women saying normal is good....then why do so many women seem to gravitate towards the bad boys in the world? how do drug addicts, alcoholics, and guys with criminal records as long as my......arm get girlfriends so easily? and usually quite attractive girlfriends at that.

That's because of the womens' insecurities. Just like it was suggested that you take time to get to know yourself, you probably would like to find a woman who also has gotten to know herself - then maybe a nice relationship with no mind games will ensue

I lover normal. Give me normal anyday. I dont like men who bring drama into my life. I dont like men who are so goodlooking that they spend more time getting ready than me. I dont like guys who they think are too clever for me and therefore patronise me. I dont like badboys who bring the law into my life. I just like normal guys.

you assume correctly. this is an old story i am dating someone right now but myexperience in the past has been that i rarely get a chance to even say hello before they walk away

Well you look good to me and I'd say above average - but as they say - there is someone for everyone. I think what attracts us to someone is subjective and never easily explained even to ourselves. At least thats what I've experienced.

People get hung up on labels too much.<br />
<br />
Anyway, what is "normal"?

i completely disagree with "thats". if i had held out for guys who had jobs, nice cars or a car at all, i never would have been involved with any man because most of them didn't possess these things. there are reasons i should have left the majority of them alone, but their financial/material status had nothing to do with it.

i don't think i'm normal anymore....i may be putting myself back in therapy soon

"normal" guys are the best! Don't worry, it'll happen for you.

Putting a label on anyone or anything just puts that person or thing into a concrete box. There are a ton of women out here who would be very, very happy to know you, Rick! Normal is good. Normal is nice. We get way too few of that these days. Come on out and find us! Careful though. Find too many of us might get you in dutch...and get you that silly, little label "man *****". ;-)

and does your approach of lumping all women together and insulting their intelligence really work for you?

Your confidence and aura must imply material wealth. Women will have nothin to do with a guy who has no job or drives an old car...or even has no car. It`s all about the material wealth implied or emanating from your aura. It`s just nature's way. Any women who tells you otherwise like we have already heard here is someone who refuses to admit the natural truth of her modern gender. Remember...no money...no respect. Little status...little attention. Women don't want to hear the truth...they only want to hear what they want to hear.

really there is nothing that makes me "cool" or "different" the only thing different about me is that i admit that i'm not very special. i'm a nice guy, i like to flirt (but i'm not very good at it) i like to joke around and i think i'm funny but not everyone gets my sense of humor. i'm not an exceptionally good lover (though i do try) i'm polite as much as possible when i make a mistake i accept the blame when i offend someone i apologize and i'm honest to a fault. never been in jail only came close to it once and that was for attempting suicide, never did illegal drugs never smoked and i was a virgin till i was much older than most people when they lose theirs LOL the only thing special about me is....i'm boring LOL

YIKES!!! no pressure there!! LOL

Normal is up to the eye of the beholder....<br />
<br />
Me...Well I think that you are in a group all of your own....No other man like you my dear friend....<br />
<br />
Just wanted to tell you this...You are my special friend....For you were my first here on EP....That that make you the one to follow....<br />
<br />
Thanks for all of the happy memories

funny i told a lady who was looking for a nice guy the same thing awhile back

thats me a pretty blah guy in multiple ways LOL

ah! so thats my problem LOL

Unfortunately in our western society of today it doesn't really matter weather you are normal or not. Big or small...whatever All that you need to know is that women are ultimately attracted to a guy with money. Or at least the perception of material well being and having it together. Don't worry about what you are portraying out there. Doesn't matter. If the bank balance is solid...the women will find you.

I wouldn't put any guy in any type of category. I am attracted to guys that are amazing at being them self. I don't know if it makes sense, but to answer your question I am attracted to guys who don't fit into any particular group.

If you label yourself as normal.. then that's a staple, a stereotype, what's normality? normal people exist? I prefer the staple of "human being"... that's what your looking for I guess, just a common, ordinary "human being" XD

thanks ladies

yeah they have to be......willing.....human.....at least 18 and no more than 70 years old.....other than that i'm pretty open minded LOL

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! me cute??? your funny LOL

I'm not really attracted to guys who fall into any convenient "group". That is just so boring. I like unique. Unique is good.<br />
<br />
A bit of nerdiness never goes amiss though...

i don't fall into any particular groups either. i, personally, hate stereotypes. you're cool, Big D :) don't worry.

normal is wonderful.. i'm totally crushing on a really normal guy right now. he doesn't fit into a particular category either. but that makes little difference. when a guy isn't in a stereotyped group it's more interesting.. you've no idea what the guy is like!!! normal is lovely.

Normal is good. Normal is like beauty though, its in the eye of the beholder. <br />
<br />
I've been attracted to all kinds of guys. But I'm not really a judging type person so I've had a variety of "types" I become attracted to. In romantic type relationships and in regular friendships. <br />
<br />
Think for me its less typecasting and more those that compliment my own personality.