I love women i've quietly admitted for a couple years now I suppose I've always known this but it was a real slow burn thing with me I mean I remember crushing madly on an older girl back at school but since then until couple of years ago I didn't go through anything like that From time to time, a particular woman would catch my eye and I would admire her from afar and appreciate how beautiful she is but I wasn't desperate to go any further, not like with that girl back in school I would have given everything I owned, all my pocket money for sure! to get with her, even just once Since then I haven't felt that intense about any woman, up until a couple of years ago Then there was a certain woman who used to come in the salon I run and I dunno, she really did catch my eye and I began to think of her more and more and soon I began to think of what it would be like to be with her and very quickly I found myself fantasising about being with her when I was in bed and the first time I caught myself fantasising about her in that way, it was a shock! I stopped at that moment! but I couldn't stop for long because I could not get her out of my head! after that, it was a nightly thing and it began to drive me crazy, or she did, without ever knowing it, without ever knowing what she was doing to me! I used to even make sure I found something else to do when she came in the salon and let one of the girls who work for me do her hair because I did not dare touch her She was driving me that crazy That whole situation began to drive me wild with curiosity and I found I was really looking at women, in the salon, in the street, anywhere i went and after a while I could not stand it and that woman who came in the salon was by then driving me out of my mind, without ever knowing it I couldn't take it any longer, nightly fantasies about a woman who I just knew I couldn't have - she's married with kids - were just not enough! anyway, eventually, I got the nerve to go to a couple of bars in town where i knew there would be women I might be able to be with, I live in a big city and there's a scene I still had a boyfriend at this time and I thought of it as exploring my bi side It took some getting my nerve up to go in there the first time but I overcame the butterflies and went in and a woman offered to buy me a drink within 10 minutes and later that night she did a lot more for me and since then I haven't wanted anything else I finished things with the boyfriend I had a few days after that and I haven't had one since, don't want one and the only thing still bothering me now is the questions I'm getting more and more I know i used to be thought of as something of a man eater, so more and more recently I'm getting questions from friends as it's so long now since I had a boyfriend Some of them are actually worried about this out of character 'celibate' behaviour, have even been asked if I'm thinking about becoming a nun or something Well, no! that's not it! So, it's dawning on me that either I take some boyfriend as a cover, which I cannot be bothered doing, or I answer the questions directly and tell them how it really is with me now but it's easy to say that, quite another thing to actually do it I used to think I was very confident!