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How's This All Work?

I am attractive, fun, sweet, smart, and yet single. I just don't "get" how it all works. I meet people and it always seems they are more into me than I am into them, and then I find someone I really, really like and we get on great, but then he won't call for no apparent reason, even after he's made it clear he wanted to see me again... Do guys get shy? Do they "forget" why they liked you so much and decide it couldn't have been that great? I do have flaws of course which are the cause of some of the not-calling, but in other cases the guy leaves all excited about the next time we hang out, only to fail to follow up... The guys I've been in relationships with ALL came as a result of being in a common situation on a semi-regular basis, or through friends - never has a relationship developed after meeting someone once and relying on phone calls etc. I work in a small office and have only a small group of friends, so I don't meet people "through friends" much these days, and it seems I'm perpetually single.
runbabyrun runbabyrun 21-25, F 8 Responses Aug 26, 2007

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Just do what I did and give up. I am pretty sure everyone who tells you these things about being attractive, fun and sweet are just lying to you like they lie to me.

It's a big dream to find the dreaming person,but sometimes we go with bad people and do not care with the nice people.I always ask god for help in my prayers to show me the best one.

I think you are looking way to far into logic when it comes to dating, when I read your story I didn't see any where that you made a call to this guy. Show him that you are serious about seeing him again. It may be a bit nerving to make that call, yet look at it this way, you already broke the ice with him, no its time to melt the ice :O) Give it a shot, I think you will be surprised at the results and hey, let me know how it goes.

no talking about x's lol!<br />
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Ok so cliche- watched hes just not that into yuu & read the book- some of whats said is insightful a bit...<br />
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its good to hear things from a guys perspective... have any good guy friends to talk to?<br />
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:D

I open up to people too quickly as well. I've decided the problem is not so much the other person's conscious assessment of the fact that I do, but more that it just produces a sense of dis-ease and discomfort on a subconscious level, because it's not appropriate for the connection *just yet*.<br />
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But yes... nobody wants to hear about your ex's when they're not even your boyfriend yet ;) :D <br />
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Do you talk about yourself a lot? <br />
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It might also have something to do with needing the right kind of approach to the right type of guy too. If you're attracted to a particular type of guy, maybe there's something you're doing which would be fine ordinarily, not just with these particular men?

...and I definitely mention exes sometimes, which I know is a big thing not to do. must. not. mention. ex-bf.

Oooh, I think you're on to something with that last one. Opening up too quickly. When I meet a guy I really like, it's so rare, and I immediately feel so comfortable. I know when I've found something special, but maybe he thinks I talk that way to all guys, or talk about myself a lot... I bet that's something I should watch out for - probably guys aren't ready for emotional intimacy super quickly, or getting too personal too quickly. Hmm. Thanks.

Maybe you are failing to generate chemistry, or are doing things to kill it off?<br />
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Things like:<br />
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Projecting insecurity (eg telling guys about how nobody calls you back...)<br />
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Projecting clingy or needy vibes<br />
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Being overly strange or confrontational<br />
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Strange non-verbal signals<br />
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Failure to flirt appropriately<br />
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Opening up too quickly<br />
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...<br />
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Anyway, just a collection of my past mistakes. Invariably *you* are doing something wrong. Guys are pretty simple. Most would persist trying to get into your pants just on the basis that you're alright looking...<br />
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Maybe you're giving out the wrong phone number???