You Know You're Australian When..


  • You know the meaning of 'girt'
  • You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk
  • You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin
  • You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse
  • You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden
  • When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom
  • You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds
  • You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'
  • You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'
  • You believe the 'L' in the word ' Australia ' is optional
  • You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.
  • You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep
  • You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'
  • You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place
  • You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin
  • You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'
  • You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread
  • You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis
  • You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber'
  • You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'
  • You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year
  • You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'U
  • You wear ugh boots outside the house
  • You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them
  • Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language
  • You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is always polite
  • You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasions via your nose
  • You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse'
  • You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle
  • Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket
  • You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'
  • You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'
  • When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally *****-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit
  • You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered
  • You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction
  • When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer
  • You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second
  • You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants.
  • You will immediately forward this list to other Australians, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!!

This is not my original work, it was taken off of the 2GB website-However I thought some of you might find it humorous!

AnimaliaAustralis AnimaliaAustralis
22-25, F
9 Responses Feb 10, 2009

It is all true. Were a wierd mob. Goodonya for posting it cobber.

It reminded me of the TV series Body line about Jardine asking for an apology for being called a bastard and the Aussie captain said "Which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard"? I do happen to know the second verse, thay play it at work every morning. So that's it. make sure yaveagoodweegend.

Never laughed soooo much !!!!<br />
<br />
Because it's allll true.........only the Aussies can really laugh at their own 'culture' and get it.<br />
<br />
thanks for sharing

Bloody oath ;)

Ta you Anima,you!<br />
<br />
Oh so true!<br />
<br />
Bring back the strine<br />
<br />
We have a great language of our own! Lets make it <br />
<br />
GROW!...We do not Need Americanisms!( no offence mate!)

I particularly love the 'Customs' comment- as an Aussie living o/s , when returning home I am always bemused by having to walk the gaffa tape straight-line whilst being sniffed at by beagles.

Hooray! You know the words. Truly there is nothing better than being in the middle of a crowd all yelling their lungs out with profanities to a classic Angels song. <br />
<br />
There is an alternative song to that, which was made to the same tune by a well known Aussie rugby pla<x>yer. Matty Johns- his alter ego on a TV show called The footy show (ironic, huh?) "Reg Reagan" sings a song called "am I ever gonna see the biff again?" Biff meaning a good old dust-up or fight in the middle of a game. Reg embodies the true Aussie bogan. It is worth a listen if you can find it on the net. It is aus rugby league themed so it may not make much sense to anyone outside of Australia. but now whenever that song is played there are people who will sing these alternative lyrics to it. Its all a good laugh.

that was just so funneeee.....i love aussies ...<br />
thanks AA <br />
i seen the angels heaps when i was young, and was part of thoseg crowds yelling ...no way get f....d f..k off it was just madness and so powerful...and it became our anthem against the establishment <br />
you kids need to start yelling it out to ...don't put up with the crap they put on you...cos none of it is right <br />
they keep you distracted from their true intentions<br />
cheers

I think that there was a discount on vowels at the time of naming. I believe "O" had a further 20% off, hence they bought up in abundance.<br />
<br />
But I agree, what a super, ripper, top-notch, awesome, killer, bonza, great name for a city, mate!

I've read a few of these, but this one is particularly great.<br />
<br />
And, seriously, can anyone think of a BETTER name for a place than "Woolloomooloo"? It just rolls off the tongue so nicely. In fact, I think if I was ever going to have kids (which I'm not) one of them might be called "Wolloomooloo". Woola for short.