I'm Stuck...

After reading about what it means to 'be avoidant', I feel like it describes me to a tee.  I have never shared the depth of what I have felt to anyone, and I think that is partly because I never wanted to fully acknowledge my feelings to myself.  How do you explain that you are terrified to go somewhere, to be around people, when you aren't even sure why you feel that way?  I have been trying to find the 'why' of it all, and it is frustrating to think that there is no real 'because.'  When I found the information on apd, I felt like I was seeing myself for the first time.  On the one hand, I am scared to put myself into a category or diagnose myself, because I realize how I can and do internalize things to the point where they become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  On the other hand, I feel like self-diagnosis, if accurate, could be the first step in realizing that I am okay, and I am not going crazy.  I just know that it is hard to feel like you have so much to give, but are scared to death to.

mila3 mila3
26-30, F
Feb 10, 2010