Suffering In Silence

I've never dealt with an addiction, I've only recently (as in a few days) come to terms with the fact that I'm an addict. I'm so lost, only my husband knows, and he didn't even know what extent it goes to. I feel like I can't be real about it, so I have no incentive to seek a helping hand. I have been completely sober maybe 2 or 3 days within the past 6 months. It really hadn't seemed that long. I want to be open, release it all. Tell my husband EVERYTHING, sit down with my best friend and let her in on a part of my life she never knew existed, cry with my mother...but I know how horribly I will be judged and looked down upon. I'm just...LOST. I don't even know what I want. I just want to lock myself up away from everyone, not having to answer to anything.
turtlebear1012 turtlebear1012
22-25, F
1 Response Jan 7, 2013

Your family loves you very much. I was terrified to tell my family, friends, boyfriend for the fact that they would shun me or look down on me. I wasnt raised to become the person that i am! Im an alcoholic/addict and had kept it secret for 5 years. After that torture of isolating and keeping it all in, i eventually had a breakdown so severe that i almost lost my life. Twice. It took me almost committing suicide to finally tell my family. I had no choice. Do or die. I checked in to rehab willingly shortly after with my family 100% supportive and proud of me. Rehab saved my life. If i had only told my family and close friends that i needed help a hell of alot sooner, i wouldn't have gone through as much agony and despair, hopelessness...lost. Please talk to your loved ones. Otherwise, what are families for?