Will I Ever Recover My Strength?

I am coming up on a year of widowhood after my husband suffered from kidney cancer for more than two years.  Ultimately he was paralyzed from the waist down and totally dependent on my care.  We never even got to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary.  He had no children or parents and, therefore, my daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter were his only extended family except for me.  We had planned to live a long and happy life together but, unfortunately, that was not God's plan.  I already lost my husband of 29 years to another long battle with a rare blood disease.  I never expected to meet anyone else and was so happy when I did.  Now I think I am just completely ripped apart by my lonliness, fear and insecurity.  My finances have taken a beating.  My health insurance was cancelled.  My daughter and her husband have both been laid off and their future is uncertain right now too.  I just feel like I'm loosing my mind and I'm consumed by worry.  I used to have great self confidence and could always find something positive.  Not now!

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Mar 28, 2009