"those Look Like Suicide Lines"

My dad says as he forces me to take my bracelets off and show him my arms.

Oh my.. How.. What he said doesn't make sense..

I knew he wouldn't understand. "I would have cut much, much deeper if I was trying to kill myself, dad." I say in reply.

He's angry at me now.. He just left the room in his "angry face" as I call it. (^^, Haha)

Well.. A few days ago he went through my phone because he doesn't respect my privacy anymore well.. (He never really did anyway..). He saw one picture of my cuts.. I just took a picture once because some friend of mine wanted to see if I did it deep too or not.. I wasn't seeking attention or anything and I know you people are going to call me stupid for taking a picture.

He's not being very supportive, I even asked him if I could go to a therapist. Guess what he said? "You don't need to go to a therapist. You were just being silly when you were scratching yourself."

These past few days he's been extremely rude to me.. After all he's put me through he could at least be nice to me, be supportive?

I guess I deserve it.. Haha.

Daddy, I'm sorry that I'm such a **** up and I'm not the daughter you wanted.. -sigh- I don't like making people angry..

Sorry for wasting your time..
FlowingofCrimson FlowingofCrimson
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 5, 2013

Is noptr your fault and no one is perfect. meet you mate and have a chill time instead of self harming

I've learned from being the dad of a cutter, almost no cutters are trying to commit suicide! it's (as I understand it) a release of "pain". though it's only momentary, and really doesn't work for more than a moment. Maybe its time to open up and talk to mom. You're going to need some help and dad, as much as he loves you, probably just doesn't understand.

-sigh- I can't speak to my mom, I don't live with her.

Your parents are separated or divorced huh? That's always tough, but it is NOT your fault! Probably most things you blame yourself for aren't your fault.

I'm guessing the age group you've listed is not really the right one (16-17 probably isn't right either). Just because you don't live with your mom, doesn't mean you can not talk with her. But maybe hold off on that, about the cutting anyway.

In general, how is your relationship with your dad? (I'm presuming you'd like to talk)