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Afraid Of Going Back Again

Around the end of 2004 to the middle of 2005, I was a cutter. Things in my life were falling apart all around me. My grandmother died, parents divorced, best friend moved away, etc, etc. I found that cutting myself made me forget about the emotional pain, and concentrate on the physical pain. Unlike the emotional and mental scars, the physical ones eventually healed. I had a few permanent scars that I later covered up with tattoos, I did not see it as a big deal at the time. As I got older, I started to understand the severity of what I was doing, and the damage to not only myself; but to my mother as well. Since the end of 2005 I have been on several diffrent medications, and have been seeing a therapist. For the last eight years I have been doing great; until a few weeks ago. Certain people and situations in my life have been falling apart at the seams here lately. I haven't done anything drastic yet, but I have been thinking about it a lot. I am terrified of going back to that dark place that I was at, there is no one here to talk to or understand. I suppose I just want to know others understand what I'm going through and can relate.

HayBail
HayBail HayBail 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 13, 2013

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Your better than this okay? I believe in you, and you can beat this urge! I have no idea how difficult things are for you, but I really hope things get brighter for you. No matter what you can always mail me, I understand. Your so so strong, keep fighting x

Thank you. I'm trying my best to get there. I've been praying a lot, and have had some support from my friends. Thanks for your comment and your concern:-)

Good! It's fine :)

Tried 2 add u 2 my circle, but your profile is blocked. U can add me if u wanna:-)

It won't let me add you either :(

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