Panic. Attack.

Walking into a classrrom gave me a panic attack. Walking into a mall made me cry. learning I had to go out to eat for dinner meant my nerves kept me from eating anything until lunch the next day. Lunchrooms set me eating in the school psychologists room.

How many times a day did I wish-pray-yearn-agonize over the need to be invisable. My heart used to ache with my wanting to be a shadow. Nothing important. A no named something or other no one knew existed.

I was almost sent to a new school and cried for four hours straight when I was asked to visit it. How many opportunities were missed because I was to scared to face people?

Now I am an actress. I sing for people on stage. I make my presence known.

This may be another defense mechanism, but it is a much better one than hiding.

I still have problems sometimes, but people no longer make me cry for hours.

ShopGirl ShopGirl
18-21, F
5 Responses Mar 1, 2009


Thank you, friend.

It's been a progression over six years now. I don't see myself as brave so much as really diligent. Brave people do things through the fear. I fight the fear off, and then do it. Thats why it's taken so long to get here.

How brave of you!

wow, i think it is more than just a defense mechanism, you are very courageous. that reminds me of a quote from eleanor roosevelt, who said "Do one thing everyday that scares you." One must face one's fears to conquer them. Congrats!